Iowa Farm Sayings

[VeloClone]

Pertnear as in "That storm pertnear took the roof of the barn clean off.

My grandpa always said "Leave him be." if someone was getting picked on.

Mom referred to things as "hotter than blue blazes."

If a creek was small enough that you could jump across without getting your boots wet it was a crick.

We had a driveway but several of my friends with longer drives referred to them as lanes.

And when I was growing up the only time we said lunch was at school or at a church event. At home it was always breakfast, dinner and supper. Now I say breakfast, lunch, dinner but I'm not on a farm anymore.

 

[CyberJJJ]

I grew up on a farm and have maybe heard 2 of the sayings in this thread.

My dad also worked at two local grain elevators so knew everyone. Visiting him there was part of the education, including a few limericks my mother wished I hadn't learned! From that I learned that when your mother says, "Go ahead and see if I care."...she probably does!

 

[Rabbuk]

"I voted for trump because he cares about farmers"

 

[SCyclone]

I'm so hungry I could eat the #ss end out of a DEAD skunk
That snow is as high as a tall Indians #ss.
It is raining so hard it is like a cow pissing on a flat rock
supplies are tighter than a ticks #ss

FIFY

 

[SCyclone]

"That boy is as useless as tits on a boar"

I worked with a guy who would say "worthless as tits on a board" and thought it was correct. We tried to tell him that even female boards don't have tits, but we wouldn't have any of it.

 

[CyberJJJ]

My dad didn't sit well with hearing us complain about riding the bus 45 minutes each way to school. Some of his gems were:

• We had to talk to school and back...and it was uphill both ways.
• We used to have a baked potato for lunch and that kept our hands warm on the way to school, but we froze on the way home.
• I had to walk to school with a knife between my teeth fighting off Indians.

 

[SCyclone]

"Busier than a one-legged cat trying to bury **** on a frozen pond."

Or, alternately,

"Busier than a one-eyed dog at a meat market."

 

[Bestaluckcy]

Had a neighbor who used to say, in the fall when I asked how good his corn yield was:
"I always raise 250 bu./acre corn. Some years I just need to drive a little farther."

 

[ca4cy]

"Busier than a one-legged cat trying to bury **** on a frozen pond."

Or, alternately,

"Busier than a one-eyed dog at a meat market."

That brings back two for me..

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

and

Busier that a cat covering **** on a tin roof.

 

[Rabbuk]

Had a neighbor who used to say, in the fall when I asked how good his corn yield was:
"I always raise 250 bu./acre corn. Some years I just need to drive a little farther."

this is funny

 

[Farnsworth]

I thought it said Iowa Farm Slayings.

Well there was an Iowa State farm that did slay an isu student..... (too soon?)

 

[cycloner29]

WD-40....is 'panther piss' at least at our house.

I would always say "put some panther on it."

"Make sure you clean off the zerk and give it two or three squirts of grease." - greasing a bearing with a grease gun.

 

[cycloner29]

Had neighbor call his wife "Crisco". One day I asked him why he called her that. His reply, " cause she's a lard @ss!"

 

[ca4cy]

"I voted for trump because he cares about farmers"

 

[Die4Cy]

Rougher than a cob.

As in, "What did you do, that field is rougher than a cob!"

 

[cyclones500]

Pertnear as in "That storm pertnear took the roof of the barn clean off.

We had a driveway but several of my friends with longer drives referred to them as lanes.

My grandpa said "pert near" a lot.

He also said "throwed" instead of "threw." He was generally well-spoken and educated, so that seemed out-of-character.

It took me a couple of years away from the farm to make transition from "lane" to "driveway."

 

[2020cy]

I think it’s funny a Fleet Farm add showed up in this thread.

 

[JMA1125]

My Dad always said, “It’s hell when you get old”.

 

[jc4cy]

Dad's favorites:
"Dumber than owl s**t" (describing someone or something someone did)
"I'm above ground and taking in nourishment" (default response to someone asking how he is)
"It's hotter than a two peckered billy goat" (describing the weather)
"Is a frog's a** water tight?" (response to an obvious question)
"Wakey wakey hands off snakey" (waking us up in the morning)

 

[wxman1]

Trying to get directions/know where people are talking about out in the country. "Turn right at the Johnson's place and go until you get to the T intersection near the Carter's place" Dafuq like I know anything that you just said.