Iowa Farm Sayings

[xr4ticlone]

My dad's is 'He doesn't know if his *******'s punched or drilled'

When I finally asked him one day...which is it?

'I'm guessing some type of hot punch'

I think he's right. : )

 

[xr4ticlone]

Also...'that looks like you pulled it out of the cat's ass' whenever you had something not ironed or that looked bad.

 

[BCClone]

Dad would use this on the weekend when the cattle and hogs seemed skittish. “City boys must have been drinking around here last night”.

 

[Beernuts]

From my Dad:

" everybody be quiet...Paul Harvey is on"

"cow are out!"....everything stopped and we all ran to the yard to get the cows back in.

"some sows need more straw"...when the neighbors wife was always going shopping.

 

[cyclone101]

From my Dad:

" everybody be quiet...Paul Harvey is on"

"cow are out!"....everything stopped and we all ran to the yard to get the cows back in.

"some sows need more straw"...when the neighbors wife was always going shopping.

Lol

 

[NWICY]

Not a saying, but why do a lot of people out in the country say "warsh" instead of "wash"?

I think that is more of a regional dialect thing then a country thing. Just my opinion though.

 

[NWICY]

If you have livestock your going to have dead stock.

 

[EarthIsMan]

“Let’s go cut pigs” (castration)

“Knee high by 4th of July”

“No way on God’s green earth is that going to happen”

“Livin high on the hog” (used when neighbors were doing well for themselves)

“Make hay while the sun shines”

“Unhook the plow” (used when moving too slowly)

“Up and at ‘em” (used to wake someone)

 

[CyberJJJ]

My dad called rubber boots you wore over the work boots/work shoe were "overshoes" and slip-ons for dress shoes were "rubbers."

Reminds me that when I was in grad school at ISU there were more international students than Americans in my major. Before classes started, there was a campout for the international students. Two funny things heard:

1) A female student, “Come around and knock-me-up at 7 a.m.” (She was referring to a wake-up call)
2) A male student, “ Can I borrow some rubbers?” (He was not replying to the female student’s comment,. But rather asking for some overboots as it was projected to rain.)

 

[CyberJJJ]

One of my dad's regular sayings, "It's colder than a witch's (insert slang for breast)!"

 

[Entropy]

Like a cow p****** on a flat rock

My dad grew up on a farm near LaCrosse, WI and that was one of his favorite sayings.

Another one was "He looked like he got pulled through a knot hole backwards" for someone who looked very disheveled.

He also liked to tell me "Looks like you've been burning the candle on both ends."

 

[Entropy]

"Don't be out hootin' with the owls if your gonna be up crowin' with the roosters"

My dad's take on this one was, "Don't go out soaring with the eagles if you can't get up with the turkeys."

 

[CyberJJJ]

My dad's take on this one was, "Don't go out soaring with the eagles if you can't get up with the turkeys."

Our fathers must have played the same game of telephone, because the way my dad shared that saying was, "If you hoot with the owls at night, you can't expect to soar with the eagles in the morning."

 

[isu_ce]

If we screwed up my Dad would tell us we "couldn't pour Pi$$ out of a boot if the directions were on the heal."

That still makes me laugh.

 

[ca4cy]

"They ain't got the brains to plug an ant's ass."

"Shakin' like a dog shittin' razor blades."

"He didn't know whether to **** or go blind."

And my dad, when things went from bad to worse "Ah ****, now we're beat."

 

[Cyclonesrule91]

One of my dad's regular sayings, "It's colder than a witch's (insert slang for breast)!"

Added to your saying.....in a brass bra

Colder than a well diggers A$$.

Another saying with a lot of truth to it.... Farming is the only business in the world where you buy your inputs at retail price, sell your product at wholesale price and pay the shipping both ways.

 

[BillBrasky4Cy]

Pass me another Busch Light.

 

[Prone2Clone]

Not from Iowa, but Beverly Hillbillies:
"Jethro, if brains was lard, you wouldn't grease a very big pan."

 

[NickTheGreat]

I grew up on a farm and have maybe heard 2 of the sayings in this thread.

 

[dinger]

One of my dad's regular sayings, "It's colder than a witch's (insert slang for breast)!"

We already learned in this thread that tit is ok to say.