The Greatest Line Every Simpson Character ever delivered

[Mr Janny]

My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say dickety because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. (the children laugh) What are you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem! Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet...

-Abe Simpson

 

[mj4cy]

I'd pick different ones for some....one that comes to mind is with Duffman. I'd go with "Duff man never dies! Only guys that play him."

 

[Mr Janny]

this one isn't a line, but is still awesome.

 

[mj4cy]

My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say dickety because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. (the children laugh) What are you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem! Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet...

-Abe Simpson

Or "Dear Mr. President, there are too many states. Please eliminate three."

 

[mj4cy]

Favorite home line.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saKRZEMqdis

 

[Mr Janny]

This exchange always killed me:

"Jebediah Springfield: People, our search is over! On this site we shall build a new town where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast fields of hemp for making rope and blankets.

Shelbyville Manhattan: Yes! And marry our cousins.

Jebediah Springfield: I was- wha... what are you talking about, Shelbyville? Why would we want to marry our cousins?

Shelbyville Manhattan: Because they're so attractive. I... I thought that was the whole point of this journey.

Jebediah Springfield: Absolutely not!

Shelbyville Manhattan: I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to marry their cousins! "

Actually, that whole episode, "Lemon of Troy" is golden.

Milhouse: "I thought you said you could read lips?"
Bart: "I assumed I could."

and

"And with that, a mighty cheer went up from the heroes of Shelbyville. They had banished the awful lemon tree forever, because it was haunted. Now let's all celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice."

 

[sdillon500]

Moe's best line:

Eddie: Did you hold a grudge against Mr. Burns?
Moe: No!
(The lie detector buzzes)
Moe: Okay, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him!
(The lie detector dings)
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I've got a hot date tonight! (buzz) A date. (buzz) Dinner with friends. (buzz) Dinner alone. (buzz) Watching TV alone. (buzz) Alright! I'm just going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog! (buzz) Sears catalog. (ding) Now, would you unhook this already, please?! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! (buzz)

[video=youtube;N-TZ8Z5S9rI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-TZ8Z5S9rI[/video]

 

[Mr Janny]

Sea Captain: I run a small academy for lobsters like this one. We stress tough love. Daily chores and the like.
Marge: No! We're not sending the lobster away to some snobby boarding school.
Sea Captain: Y'arr, I understand. It's hard to let go. Eh, tell me this, then ... do you have any spare change?

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Flanders :
I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff


Fat Tony:

To heterosexual male friendship. The kind the ancient Greeks wrote about.


​

 

[CRAZYGREG]

They taste like burning

 

[3GenClone]

I find myself saying "everything's coming up Milhouse!" at least once a week.

Seasons 3-6 of that show are hands down the best TV episodes I have ever watched.

I love the Scorpio episode:

Scorpio: Hey, look at my feet. You like moccasins? Look in your closet - there's a pair for you. Don't like them? Then neither do I!"
*Throws shoes*
Scorpio: Get the hell outta here! Ever see a guy say good-bye to a shoe?
Homer: Yes, once.

 

[Mr Janny]

Homer: Now, Marge, you can't blame all of Bart's problems on your one little speech. If anything turned him bad, it's that time you let him wear a bathing suit instead of underwear. ...And let's not forget your little speech!

 

[TykeClone]

I, for one, would like to welcome our new insect overlords.

 

[WalkingCY]

Ha. I say Otto's all the time:

"Wow, I had mustard?!"

"Bake him away toys." Ha.. great one for Wiggum.

 

[stateofmind]

I haven't read the article yet, and just put these down from memory.

Ralphie: "My cat's breath smells like catfood"

Barney(while chugging from the tap): "Uh oh, my heart stopped... there it goes."

Homer: "I am so SMART, I am so SMART, S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T"

Sea Captain: "Come for the Freak, stay for the food!"

 

[Cyballz]

Homer - don't blame me...I voted for Kodos

Snake - umm, did she say she used to be a dude?

 

[Mtowncyclone13]

I think I'll watching some simpsons tonight

 

[JP4CY]

It's not a movie line, but man could I go for a Flaming Moe (err Homer) right now.

 

[Mr Janny]

"Oh Lord, protect this rocket house, and all who dwell within the rocket house!"
-Homer

 

[mramseyISU]

My favorite Homer quote is "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

Best line of the series if you ask me. I use that one all the time at work.