The Greatest Line Every Simpson Character ever delivered

[wonkadog]

Homer (singing): "My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R, my baloney has a second name it's H-O-M-E-R..."

 

[Clone1138]

Two of my all-time favorites:

[video=youtube;r_pqnsKWlpc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_pqnsKWlpc[/video]

 

[Clone1138]

...and this classic.

[video=youtube_share;xIpLd0WQKCY]http://youtu.be/xIpLd0WQKCY[/video]

 

[sdillon500]

I always wanted my metal band to be named Gamblor's Neon Claws:

No, lisa, you're not a monster. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother, and I call him Gamblor! We must save your mother from his neon claws!

[video=youtube;_KqANzZ_YVk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KqANzZ_YVk[/video]

 

[Angie]

Homer, on the 4th of July, preparing to celebrate America by blowing up a small part of it - "Stand back while I celebrate freedom!"

Bart - "I warsh myself with a rag on a stick."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSJQEl5vcAo

 

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

Homer has so many classic lines it really isn't possible to pick one that is the best.

 

[HitItHard58]

Titania: Ew! You said if I slept with you, I wouldn't have to touch the drunk!
Duffman: Duffman says a lot of things. Oh, yeah!

 

[HitItHard58]

This is not just my favorite Barney quote but probably my favorite Simpsons quote all time!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4xIy1rlJKs

 

[ca4cy]

Mrs. Lovejoy just delivered hers.

 

[kilgore_trout]

Gym. What's a gym? Oh, a gym.

[video=youtube;R4i8SpNgzA4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4i8SpNgzA4[/video]

 

[Cyched]

Homer: "Sorry Marge, Pinchy got all dirty in the yard chasing birds. But don't worry, I put him in a nice, hot bath"

Bart: "Hey, what smells so good?"

 

[sdillon500]

Homer, on the 4th of July, preparing to celebrate America by blowing up a small part of it - "Stand back while I celebrate freedom!"

Bart - "I warsh myself with a rag on a stick."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSJQEl5vcAo

The polite clapping after Bart delivers that line really sells the joke.

Also, not a main character, but I love the delivery of this line, and try to say it every time I'm at a game.

Announcer 1: Hall of Famer Whitey Ford now on the field pleading with the crowd for... for some kind of sanity.
Announcer 2: Uh-oh, and a barrage of pretzels now knocking Whitey unconscious.
Announcer 1: Wow. This is uh... This is a black day for baseball.

 

[LindenCy]

Ralph: "Now Lisa's the Ralph."

(episode where they are forced to teach creationism and mirrors the Scopes Monkey Trial)

 

[bostrem00]

[video=youtube;cw5mdqiyAq8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cw5mdqiyAq8[/video]
Good ole Grimey...

 

[AuH2O]

Homer: "...And I'm not easily impressed. Ooh look! A blue car!"
Ralph: "Tastes like...burning." "When I grow up I wanna be either a principal, or a catepillar."

That's what I can think of off the top of my head. The show was fantastic in the mid and late 90s. The show is great, and feel like I've seen every episode several times. Then I realized that I don't think I've seen an episode since 2005.

 

[Mr Janny]

Homer: (on the phone) Hello, is this GBM? You wrote in the personals that you're looking for a soul mate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies.

[pause]
No, I don't like *that*.

[pause]
Or that... It's not that I'm afraid...

[hastily]
I'm going to hang up now, bye!

[hangs up the phone]

 

[Mr Janny]

"Talking out of turn? That's a paddlin'. Lookin' out the window? That's a paddlin'. Staring at my sandals? That's a paddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe? Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin'."

-Jasper Beardly

 

[drlove]

you need to go to the "Hammock District"

 

[drlove]

I think this is my favorite from Rod and Todd.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAX8Im-T8MA

 

[Cy4Lifer]

Chief Wiggum to Ralph: "that's some nice flutin' boy!"