Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

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TXCyclones

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Funny. Hadn't thought about this in 22 years now. We did our prep classes at St. Thomas Aquinas back in 1991 (I can't believe my wife is that old now!) I have to say I really enjoyed the prep class and listening to the priest talk about the background to some of the traditions and history.
 

n8sanow

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I'll try to answer the best I can since I'm a convert (Lutheran to Catholic) and the whole confession thing is not something I've done a whole lot. When our oldest went through first communion prep last year they had a date for confession where there was a group of the kids and their parents and then multiple priests around the church. The kids went individually to one of the priests for confession and parents were encouraged to go as well as an example and support. So hubby stood in line with our daughter, but when the time came they each went individually.

Thank you cybirdy, that is how it was. Must be the same church!
 

Clonefan32

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I'm a Lutheran who married a Catholic and hasn't converted. It was a big cause of contention during the wedding planning, as well as planning our daughter's baptism. The priest at my wife's church was brand new and had no established relationship with my wife's family. The pastor at my church had baptised me and was a family friend. Despite this, we had to have the Catholic priest officiate the vast majority of the service so my wife could "stay Catholic." Also, my wife's mom made a big deal about how it had to be a Catholic service if she as going to pay for it, etc. Was a huge point of contention for me at the time, not so much because I was particularly attached to being Lutheran but because I didn't like the fact that the plans of our wedding were dictated by the thought that a non-Catholic service would not correctly marry us in the eyes of God, or some **** like that.

Since then, it hasn't been such a big deal. We go to Catholic service most Sundays, and once you get used to being the only fool not kneeling and having people breath on your kneck while they are kneeling, and once people get used to you being the only guy still in a pew when communion is going on it isn't so bad.
 

boone7247

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I am a non-Catholic who married a Catholic. Prior to getting married there was pressure for me to convert, I refused as there are things about the Catholic church I don't agree with. While the basis of our religions are the same I just didn't feel it was necessary for me to convert so her family would be happy she was marrying a Catholic.

For the wedding we had a full Mass during the ceremony, really wasn't an issue at all. I think this is hugely dependent on who your priest is. Also had to take the pre-cana course which really isn't that bad. It is something a lot of people getting married might benefit from.

Post the wedding while I know her family wishes I was Catholic it has yet to be an issue. Except for my sons baptism as my sister wasn't allowed to be his official Godmother. But whatever, there are legal ways of making sure my sister is the one who would take care of him if something were to happen to both my wife and I. And actually her family wasn't happy with the priest and church about this whole situation.

Biggest piece of advice I can give you is just to communicate with your partner. If you two can be on the same page about your futures then it won't matter what religions you are.
 

VeloClone

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I am a non-Catholic who married a Catholic. Prior to getting married there was pressure for me to convert, I refused as there are things about the Catholic church I don't agree with. While the basis of our religions are the same I just didn't feel it was necessary for me to convert so her family would be happy she was marrying a Catholic.

For the wedding we had a full Mass during the ceremony, really wasn't an issue at all. I think this is hugely dependent on who your priest is. Also had to take the pre-cana course which really isn't that bad. It is something a lot of people getting married might benefit from.

Post the wedding while I know her family wishes I was Catholic it has yet to be an issue. Except for my sons baptism as my sister wasn't allowed to be his official Godmother. But whatever, there are legal ways of making sure my sister is the one who would take care of him if something were to happen to both my wife and I. And actually her family wasn't happy with the priest and church about this whole situation.

Biggest piece of advice I can give you is just to communicate with your partner. If you two can be on the same page about your futures then it won't matter what religions you are.

Different priests will handle things differently. Our priest just required that one of the godparents be Catholic so my sister and my wife's brother could be the godparents since he is Catholic. We also had a full mass at our wedding (different priest) and he was very cool and respectful of me, the non-Catholic.
 

shadow

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Question:
Anyone have experience or advice for a Catholic - Baptist wedding? I am not engaged, but have been dating a Baptist lady for a while now, so this topic interests me. I am Catholic but not devout. She is Baptist and doesn't want to convert.

Answer 1:
wife was raised an Evangelical Christian and married a Catholic in a Catholic Church, but like others have said, we weren't supposed to have a full Mass, but did as our old retired Priest forgot and did the entire thing anyway. Needless to say her family was ******. But since drinking and dancing is/was forbidden in there family we didn't have to deal with any of them after 9 pm anyway.

PS They think my giant Irish Catholic Family is the Spawn of Satan.

My take: As with what others said, it depends especially with exposure to different kinds people. There is a big difference between someone who grew up in a small town their whole life and someone like myself who moved around the country every few years. Same goes with exposure to religious communities.

My Dad grew up Presbyterian, Mom grew up Catholic. We went to (some drinking, some non-drinking) Baptist churches growing up and I was born-again when I was 7.

My wife grew up Catholic. Both sides of her family were raised Catholic. In college, she was born-again in a Baptist church.

Our families all get along and while we do believe some Catholics are true believers, we pray for them. Same goes for Protestants depending on doctrine and lives lived.

Our biggest disagreements so far in marriage have been about politics though I think we've finally found some common ground (see Crunchy Cons by Rod Dreher).
 

Clonefan32

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On your original question regarding marriage prep classes:

We had to meet on three occasions with a family within the Catholic Church to discuss marriage. During one of the meetings we had to talk about family planning. The wife went on to tell us that when her husband was in vet school she decided she was ready to have a kid and decided to quit taking birth control without telling him.

What wonderful marital advice...
 

abe2010

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Jan 14, 2009
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On your original question regarding marriage prep classes:

We had to meet on three occasions with a family within the Catholic Church to discuss marriage. During one of the meetings we had to talk about family planning. The wife went on to tell us that when her husband was in vet school she decided she was ready to have a kid and decided to quit taking birth control without telling him.

What wonderful marital advice...

not to mention against church teaching although I'm assuming this was a decent number of years ago before Natural Family Planning got better researched and developed
 

ISUAlum05

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I'm a Lutheran who married a Catholic and hasn't converted. It was a big cause of contention during the wedding planning, as well as planning our daughter's baptism. The priest at my wife's church was brand new and had no established relationship with my wife's family. The pastor at my church had baptised me and was a family friend. Despite this, we had to have the Catholic priest officiate the vast majority of the service so my wife could "stay Catholic." Also, my wife's mom made a big deal about how it had to be a Catholic service if she as going to pay for it, etc. Was a huge point of contention for me at the time, not so much because I was particularly attached to being Lutheran but because I didn't like the fact that the plans of our wedding were dictated by the thought that a non-Catholic service would not correctly marry us in the eyes of God, or some **** like that.

Since then, it hasn't been such a big deal. We go to Catholic service most Sundays, and once you get used to being the only fool not kneeling and having people breath on your kneck while they are kneeling, and once people get used to you being the only guy still in a pew when communion is going on it isn't so bad.

This is the stuff that bothers about the Catholics (and others who are the same way, like some Lutherans). Though I am no longer a regular, I some attend my family's ELCA Lutheran Church, and anyone can take communion. The first time I asked him to, my husband didn't want to go, because he had been to a Missouri Synod Lutheran Church that wouldn't allow him to take communion. His take, and I agree, was that the exclusionary practices are offensive. If someone is there, worshipping, why should they be excluded like that? Is it about worship and faith, or is it about rules? It's the arbitrary rules that drive people away.
 

CyFan61

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This is the stuff that bothers about the Catholics (and others who are the same way, like some Lutherans). Though I am no longer a regular, I some attend my family's ELCA Lutheran Church, and anyone can take communion. The first time I asked him to, my husband didn't want to go, because he had been to a Missouri Synod Lutheran Church that wouldn't allow him to take communion. His take, and I agree, was that the exclusionary practices are offensive. If someone is there, worshipping, why should they be excluded like that? Is it about worship and faith, or is it about rules? It's the arbitrary rules that drive people away.

It's not that simple. Not saying I agree or disagree with the practice, but as a Catholic, I know what the reasoning is behind it and it is not as simple as you suggest.

I do find it interesting that you believe it is offensive when you, as a non-Catholic, cannot fully participate with the Catholic people practicing Catholicism at a Catholic mass in a Catholic church. I'm not trying to be snarky or sarcastic with this - really - I just think it's interesting that's how you characterized it.
 

sweetwater

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What is the reasoning? I grew up Missouri Synod Lutheran, and I don't think non members are allowed to take communion there, either. I don't like that. The Lutheran church that we attend now, anyone can take communion.
 

ISUAlum05

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But ( also not trying to be snarky), why do Catholics (and others) have to be all about the exclusivity? So someone who is a Christian, and attends, say, a Methodist church regularly, but goes to Catholic Mass with a friend one Sunday, they can't take communion at the Catholic church. But their Methodist church would allow anyone who believes in the sacrament to take communion. Why do the Catholics have to separate themselves from/put themselves above all other Christians?
 

VeloClone

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In the Catholic Church the belief that the bread and wine are transubstantiated into the body and blood of ******. I believe in most religions it is simple thought of symbolically. They are asking only those who know what they are getting and believe to partake.

EDIT. I still think it is dumb that Ch**st is blocked but I can say disgusting things like Hawkeye and it isn't censored.
 
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Mtowncyclone13

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The answer to that question can be found in Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. After recounting Jesus' words at the Last Supper, Paul writes:

"Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died." (1 Corinthians 11:27-30)

one reason though is because in most protestant faiths communion is a symbol and in Catholicism it becomes the body of ******. if you don't believe in transubstaniation then why would you take it?
 
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