My parents are both Catholic but decided to elope in Vegas instead of get married in the church because of all the BS the church makes you go through.
Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic
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Makes it much easier doesn't it.
I've just never understood the whole divisive nature of religion at all. Young children will play with one another no matter what they believe or what color they are, but as you get older you learn about all the ways you are different, and then things become uncomfortable for whatever reason.
If two people love each other and care about one another, what else matters?
I'm Catholic and attended a Catholic school for 19 years. My wife I married 13 years ago is Presbyterian. We had a consultation with a Priest and to go through catechism? and a retreat---and a questionnaire that required my bride to answer 'yes' to raising our kids 'Catholic' ---most mixed couples LIE on this question. My wife didn't......long story short--we were married in Presbyterian Church--w/out a priest. OUR MARRIAGE IS NOT RECOGNIZED IN CATHOLIC CHURCH !!! LMAO ! a bunch of b.s.
Did it. Planned on converting but after getting married both of us decided most of the catholic stuff is stupid and now we are both UCC and much happier. My advise is to have her switch, not you.
That's a very progressive priest. Pretty cool. At my step-grandma's funeral the priest (who was young) said before communion that all eligible catholics were welcome, the rest of the people (i.e. lapsed catholics and other religions) were invited to pray for their souls. Really ticked off my dad
Agree. To me, religion causes more problems and wars than it helps and can get in the way when otherwise 2 people would be perfectly good together. I think this is why the "spiritual but not religious" demographic is growing so fast.
I'm Lutheran and married a Catholic. Plain and simple. We were married in my church and I told him that if we decided to have kids they would be Lutheran. I respected his faith and he went to his church on Sunday and I went to mine. He always went to church growing up but I don't think he really understood what the Catholics faith is all about. Then he decided one Sunday to come to my church and did some pretty good research on both and joined mine. My dad who could easily been a minister answered any questions and the decision became pretty easy. Had 17 great years.
Good post. I always pooh pooh'd my detractors growing up accusing some Catholics as being hypocrites, and well as some of the goofy rules (some are money-makers---annulments, etc)......after marrying a Protestant I am much more open-minded and can look at my own religion much differently
In a month we'll be married 18 years. I was raised in a seriously Lutheran household. Husband was raised in a Very Catholic household. My parents have some pretty deep-seated opinions, oh like, Catholics are crooks and liars. His Mom believes in 'levels of heaven' and since I'm not Catholic I may get into heaven, but in a crummy level - I assume this means I'll be In a Super 8 but they will be at the Peabody. To keep the peace, we were married in a Lutheran church with a priest present to throw out appropriate blessings. Sooooo, you can get a feel for how the wedding planning went. :|
I married my best friend and would do it all over again - except NOT put up with all the wedding bs with our families and Catholic church. The priest was a real horse's ***. He really hated anything to do with marriage, so the pre-marriage stuff was a disaster. And on the Wednesday before the wedding weekend told us the Catholic church would not recognize the marriage because this-and-that didn't get completed (all his lazy fault). Another priest, longtime friend of the in-laws, stepped in and fixed it all last minute. Summary = the priest (or minister) can make or break the pre-ceremony counseling process.
Today, my husband is non-practicing Catholic, and for several years we were very active in a Lutheran church. But then that church left the ELCA and got into the LCMC branch of the Lutheran church under the direction of a rather maniacal minister. Long story short, we walked out of there and never returned to organized religion. We're both comfortable in our spirituality, and don't need a self-appointed 'God translator' telling us how to live our lives.
With that said - communication is the key to a marriage. If you have a problems or question, don't talk about it to everyone except your spouse. WORK IT OUT TOGETHER. When we went through the pre-marriage counseling, we didn't find a subject we hadn't already talked through. If you're not adhering to the same set of core beliefs, I don't know how you're going to build a life together. If you're just now talking about how many kids you each want, what religion, lifestyle, heck, separate or joint checking accounts - - back the heck up and figure this stuff out BEFORE you decide to marry.
I married my best friend and would do it all over again - except NOT put up with all the wedding bs with our families and Catholic church. The priest was a real horse's ***. He really hated anything to do with marriage, so the pre-marriage stuff was a disaster. And on the Wednesday before the wedding weekend told us the Catholic church would not recognize the marriage because this-and-that didn't get completed (all his lazy fault). Another priest, longtime friend of the in-laws, stepped in and fixed it all last minute. Summary = the priest (or minister) can make or break the pre-ceremony counseling process.
Today, my husband is non-practicing Catholic, and for several years we were very active in a Lutheran church. But then that church left the ELCA and got into the LCMC branch of the Lutheran church under the direction of a rather maniacal minister. Long story short, we walked out of there and never returned to organized religion. We're both comfortable in our spirituality, and don't need a self-appointed 'God translator' telling us how to live our lives.
With that said - communication is the key to a marriage. If you have a problems or question, don't talk about it to everyone except your spouse. WORK IT OUT TOGETHER. When we went through the pre-marriage counseling, we didn't find a subject we hadn't already talked through. If you're not adhering to the same set of core beliefs, I don't know how you're going to build a life together. If you're just now talking about how many kids you each want, what religion, lifestyle, heck, separate or joint checking accounts - - back the heck up and figure this stuff out BEFORE you decide to marry.
Extended family member said he was an atheist. He married a catholic (at least her parents were very devout). At first he just went along with it. Pretty much to make her happy. After learning more about the beliefs and other circumstances I don't know about, he now believes in God.
As far as I know their marriage has always been good communication wise. Their three kids seem to be doing well
I was raised Presbyterian and am still a practicing Presbyterian. My was raised Catholic. It has caused some serious debates on how to raise our kids. Still working on that.... My in laws, mostly my mother in law and her mom were pushing hard for me to convert.
The main thing both sides need to remember is there is no right or wrong side. It's what you believe.
As far as the marriage prep stuff goes, we had a marriage prep Nazi instead of a Priest that we worked with. She wanted me to sign a piece of paper vowing that I would raise my kids Catholic. I refused. She sent me out of the room and pressured my wife into signing it. Those kind of tactics really ****** me off and pushed me further from the Catholic faith than towards it.
My family was raised Catholic, I still am, and my sister married a Lutheran. On the day of her wedding I was an Usher and was walking my Grandma down the aisle and said something about my sister getting married in a Lutheran Church and she patted my arm and said, "Bret44 (She really calls me that, no lie. OK maybe a little lie), we just won't talk about those kind of things today." I got a good laugh out of it. Thankfully I will probably marry Catholic if things stay on the course they are going.
because a comment designed to insult people and degrade a profession is keeping it real, riiiiiight
Exactly! And it's your life.........not anyone else! White non-denom here married to black pentacost going on 16 years. Do we see eye to eye on everything.....absolutely not. Who does? But we never forget why we were married. Because in the end it doesn't matter what the church or anyone says. It's how you both feel. And instead of going to some focus group with a preacher or whatever they call themselves who want to give you the rules to live by.....stay in, sit down and watch "Guess who's coming to dinner". Make sure you especially listen to the speech the late great Spencer Tracey gives when excepting the marriage of his daughter to Sidney Potier. Outstanding! Or.......watch the "Bronx Tale" and take note of what Sonny tells "C" when he is giving him advice about relationships. A bit salty and to the point however.
I'll try to answer the best I can since I'm a convert (Lutheran to Catholic) and the whole confession thing is not something I've done a whole lot. When our oldest went through first communion prep last year they had a date for confession where there was a group of the kids and their parents and then multiple priests around the church. The kids went individually to one of the priests for confession and parents were encouraged to go as well as an example and support. So hubby stood in line with our daughter, but when the time came they each went individually.
I think the biggest obstacle in families where one person converts is the unknown. My Dad grew up a devout Missouri Synod/German Lutheran who had misconceptions about Catholics. He was not happy with my decision, but once I went over how similar the two churches were (in some areas) he was more open to the idea. They support our children when they celebrate sacraments in the Catholic Church. Them being LCMS, I have seen them go through some pastors who are much more strict with their beliefs than many priests I've encountered.
I've found that with the Catholic church our experience depends so much on the church and community itself. Hubby was born and raised a catholic but is turned off by stuffy, by-the-book churches and services. The church closest to us is like that. We prefer a much more vibrant church community.
just a side note: I love how so many people on message boards hate religion or belittle others yet get married in a church, have religious funeral services, etc. very hypocritical.
one reason I remained Catholic through college and into adulthood is because the Roman Catholic faith has been around for 2000 years. there is no break between countries and stages and the word "first" in the official name. no reason to start a new faith over small disputes when a solution can probably be found that keeps everyone intact.
one reason I remained Catholic through college and into adulthood is because the Roman Catholic faith has been around for 2000 years. there is no break between countries and stages and the word "first" in the official name. no reason to start a new faith over small disputes when a solution can probably be found that keeps everyone intact.
Likewise. Surprised to see how many posts this thread has gotten. And like you, since our feelings on religion are strong (positive) but quite similar, we don't have these marriage issues to deal with.
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