Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

[urb1]

My wife was Methodist, I was Catholic. We were married outside the church and then after four years, my wife decided to convert (after stating when I proposed that she'd never become a Catholic). At that point, we had to go through pre-marriage stuff, which was funny, because we had been married for four years and she was pregnant with our second kid at the time. We've been married for 31 years now.

In response to the OP's original comment, the marriage prep may seem odd, but the Catholic church has been facing 50% divorce rates like everyone else. They are trying to prepare people more for marriage, and in some cases, maybe recommend a couple rethink their decision if they come off as totally incompatible. But all that prep is only as good as the couple and priest take it seriously, and of course, every couple thinks, "Love conquers all, and all of these differences will work themselves out!"

 

[chadly82]

I am a Catholic, married a Jehovah's Witness... it is definitely weird stuff there. SOME priests are more weird about it than others. A lot of the silly stuff mostly happens if you are planning on having a priest marry you (which would mean Catholic church wedding). Just be thankful you aren't marrying in to the old school Catholics. It is definitely easier than having a priest bless the wedding after you're married.

wow i bet that wasnt easy....not judging anything considering im baptist christian dating an atheist btw ....but i know how hard completely different views are because it spills over to many aspects especially come election times.

 

[NickTheGreat]

wow i bet that wasnt easy....not judging anything considering im baptist christian dating an atheist btw ....but i know how hard completely different views are because it spills over to many aspects especially come election times.

What type of counseling do you have to take to become an atheist?

 

[SoapyCy]

In response to the OP's original comment, the marriage prep may seem odd, but the Catholic church has been facing 50% divorce rates like everyone else. They are trying to prepare people more for marriage, and in some cases, maybe recommend a couple rethink their decision if they come off as totally incompatible. But all that prep is only as good as the couple and priest take it seriously, and of course, every couple thinks, "Love conquers all, and all of these differences will work themselves out!"

The couples I know who need counseling are the very ones who would refuse it.

 

[thatguy]

wife was raised an Evangelical Christian and married a Catholic in a Catholic Church, but like others have said, we weren't supposed to have a full Mass, but did as our old retired Priest forgot and did the entire thing anyway. Needless to say her family was ******. But since drinking and dancing is/was forbidden in there family we didn't have to deal with any of them after 9 pm anyway.

PS They think my giant Irish Catholic Family is the Spawn of Satan.

 

[Cyclonetrombone]

wow i bet that wasnt easy....not judging anything considering im baptist christian dating an atheist btw ....but i know how hard completely different views are because it spills over to many aspects especially come election times.

We hashed out a lot of the things before we even got to any point of being serious and it was definitely interesting talking with the priest about all of it. In the end, (due to her family) we got married in a non denominational chapel and had my priest bless the marriage after the fact. Without the class stuff I have a sneaking suspicion that he would have been pretty reluctant.

 

[chadly82]

very much the same here. Same core beliefs but some things I can't get on board with.

I wish i even had this to be honest ....in my situation i have my family and my gf's family praying for her. Total black sheep in her family. I respect how she feels but it is what it is for the time being...

 

[chadly82]

What type of counseling do you have to take to become an atheist?

Maybe a psychiatrist to keep my sanity type of counseling.....it tests my faith in the power of prayer to say the least.

 

[Wesley]

 

[MNCyGuy]

The couples I know who need counseling are the very ones who would refuse it.

Sounds about right, unfortunately.

 

[cyrevkah]

I've been dating a girl for well over a year, I have no idea what she is and vice versa. I know she is a christian of some type. Does someone's religion still play an important role in a relationship? I thought that was long gone.

That depends how devoted either person is. An example of say a Catholic and a Baptist would be two extremes as there are many gaps they would disagree with (They might be able to work it out though). For people that just kinda go and kinda follow what they believe it isn't as much as an issue because they don't seem to stand their ground on issues as much.

 

[Rabbuk]

Maybe a psychiatrist to keep my sanity type of counseling.....it tests my faith in the power of prayer to say the least.

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.

 

[VeloClone]

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.

Where did you copy and paste that from?

 

[cyrevkah]

I am a non-Catholic married to a Catholic for 14 years now. I have not nor do I plan on converting. Like others have said, there are some things I can't get on board with. We have two kids that are being raised in the Catholic Church. I attend mass with the family. As a non-Catholic, you will find out that you are not able to participate in any of the church activities such as communion or confession. I was not able to take communion on my daughter's first communion with her. I was also not able to participate in her first confession. There are several classes that parents have to attend in order for your children to be able to do these things, be prepared to be an "outcast". I don't let it bother me too much, it just reinforces to me that I don't want to convert.

Serious question: Why would a parent be with her for confession anyway? I guess that just sounds weird to me.

 

[chadly82]

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.

well thats the purpose of praying for someone else as well.....

 

[carvers4math]

Anyone have experience or advice for a Catholic - Baptist wedding? I am not engaged, but have been dating a Baptist lady for a while now, so this topic interests me. I am Catholic but not devout. She is Baptist and doesn't want to convert.

Even though my husband was Catholic his paternal grandmother was raised Baptist and was Lutheran at the time we got married. She refused to go to our wedding in a Catholic church because her Baptist mother had told her, and everyone knows, that "the fish eaters keep guns in the basement of the church so they can make us all fish eaters." Kind of a WTH moment. Hoping it was her age and maybe insanity. This fish eater was the one who had to take care of her before she died.

 

[J-Diggy]

Married 19 years to a Catholic woman (I'm Lutheran). Never been an issue between us as I respect her religion (when I"m not making jokes that are only funny to me or asking difficult question she can't answer) and she doesn't pressure me to convert.

Did the weekend retreat, took the test, etc. Priest was super cool, said "What do I know about marriage? I'm a 60 year old celabete guy leaving in a house with 3 other priests?" He also let me Lutheran Grandma take communion because he knew it was important to her to do it - "I'll say a few hail mary's as penance."

Only an issue if you make it one IMO. And having an somewhat open-minded priest made the pre-wedding stuff and the ceremony much easier for us.

 

[cyrevkah]

Anyone have experience or advice for a Catholic - Baptist wedding? I am not engaged, but have been dating a Baptist lady for a while now, so this topic interests me. I am Catholic but not devout. She is Baptist and doesn't want to convert.

I don't know about the Catholic side. Since it is usually the girl's church that (mom wants) might have the wedding. It depends on the Pastor. I know some that as long as they are both believers or both non believers they will do the wedding. Hopefully the pastor or priest would bring it up in counseling to see if you've discussed the differences and if you have talked about how you will deal with them, like infant baptism.

As far as a couple though, it goes back to what others have been saying. What are her convictions vs your convictions.

 

[cyrevkah]

Reading about the sponsor couples sounds pretty awesome. We happened to choose our church shortly before getting engaged. It also hit the time span the pastor was working on retiring. Because of this our 2 or 3 meetings with the pastor were pretty minimal and I don't think we really delved into much either :sad:


Edit: Though we're doing pretty well anyway!

 

[bringmagicback]

Most of my lutheran friends that married catholics had the chicks ditch the catholic church. There is a reason that we are lutherans and that was to get away from the catholic church. Dont end up back in it ffs