Frat vs. Dorms

[Clonefan94]

I was in a Frat and I loved it. Six of us still get together every year, over 30 years later.

But do your homework on the fraternities on campus. Some really do have serious hazing issues, and some really are mini animal houses.

Avoid those and the experience is great.

I had the same experience living in the Dorms. We had a tight group and a lot of us roomed together off campus. We don't all make it now, 20 years later, but at least 4 or 5 of our group of about 8 get together at least once a year.

I guess my point is, every situation really is what you make of it. I don't think there is a right or wrong route, just make sure the one you choose, you make the most of it.

 

[JSmoove]

One thing that had turned me off from the frats was that some frats took advantage of those crazy first couple of weeks of school where you are meeting new people every single day. Most times in an inebriated state.

One specific instance I remember the most was getting a facebook message from some "Zach" guy saying how " it was nice to meet me last night and I seemed like a cool dude." He then proceeded to invite me to a frat party later that weekend. I found it strange because I remember thinking "**** did I actually meet this guy?"

Turns out a couple other guys on my floor got the same message and it ended up being just a random email blast to boost pledging. Not sure if frats still do this and Im sure it was coming from one that had dwindling pledges. Anecdotal evidence I know.

 

[mj4cy]

Thanks to this thread, I'm now listening to this movie on listentoamovie.com

 

[CRcyclone6]

Thanks to this thread, I'm now listening to this movie on listentoamovie.com

Cheeeeeese

 

[cyclonespiker33]

I was also recruited to a frat the summer before m freshman year. I bought what they were selling and decided to join. We went the week before school started to do house cleaning and such. It was all fine, getting to know the guys and such. I will say that the cost is pretty similar and can even be less than dorms. There was also a house chef that made really good meals and there were always snacks available. That was pretty cool. At the end of the week, I learned about all these time commitments that we had to make, alarm clock duty, mail duty, yada yada yada. A bunch of stuff that was not mentioned in the recruitment, and a lot of secrets that I had to keep. It wasn't hazing but it wasn't something I wanted to deal with. I moved out the first or second day of classes into the dorms with a guy from my high school that I knew but wasn't really friends with. He is one of my groomsmen now.

TLDR - It wasn't for me, but is for some people

 

[CyFan61]

Why the hell does the decision for an incoming freshman need to be made 3 weeks before classes start? I thought most people moved into the dorms the first time a week before classes start, so why the hell would you force someone to decide to join a frat before they even spend a day on campus?

I am guessing the August 1st deadline is for if the student wants to live in the fraternity house for the upcoming year. He can join the fraternity and not "live in" for the first year or even just the first semester in some cases.

For a freshman I would recommend going with dorms for the first year while still joining the fraternity, and then making a choice from there for whether or not you want to move into the fraternity house after that. It seemed to me like the guys who "lived in" from Day 1 of their college career never expanded their social circle in any way outside of the Greek community. Plus, doing the dorms while still joining the fraternity as a freshman will be a good way to learn what you really want and having a chance to test out both options.

Non-Greek recent graduate here, by the way. I know guys that:

*Went Greek and absolutely loved it
*Did not go Greek and absolutely loved it
*Went Greek, didn't like it, and quit the fraternity
*Did not go Greek and had a poor social experience

So it really is up to the individual and there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

 

[carvers4math]

My experience decades ago was I dated two different guys in frats briefly and hated the whole scene. Seemed to have a lot of self importance about their service to the campus, which seemed like a lot of busywork BS to me. So I dated mostly guys in the dorms, which was usually fine. Had a good friend in a frat though and whenever his psycho girlfriend would break up with him, he would drag me to all the functions that seemed to require a date.

My son had zero interest in a frat. He is in an engineering discipline and didn't want to spend a lot of time on the busywork. Still really good friends with lots of guys and girls he met in Helser. Was a junior last year and had a lot of group projects and still does homework with some of those Helser friends. I have a nephew at Iowa State also in an engineering discipline and he lives on a dorm floor that is a learning community and loves that.

Maybe some of the frat guys around here know, does the proportion of guys in the frats in various majors line up with the overall university majors, or do some majors avoid the frats because of workload?

 

[crawfy54]

He can join a frat as long as he promises not to dress like a d bag.

 

[snowcraig2.0]

dorm. Easier time seeing the ladies. Found my wife just down the hall from my dorm room.

Oh man, that sucks. What did she do when you walked in? Are you still together?

 

[awd4cy]

He can join a frat as long as he promises not to dress like a d bag.

They wouldn't accept him if he did that.

 

[ISUagger]

Also, it was much cheaper for me to live in a fraternity after you figure in meal plans and rent, and how much money I saved by sharing books. The books apply if they recruit certain majors. Explore several options before picking, cultures change a lot between different houses.

 

[Wesley]

I'm 31 and attending my first semester at ISU this fall. Should I leave the wife and kid for a frat?

That is a big no.

 

[CapnCy]

I'd suggest a couple things. What is he looking for in his housing experience? From an ammedieties stand point, be sure he is comparing fairly. Sometimes fraternities seem like a better value, but the "meal plan" they may offer is a catered meal from Hv Vee vs a dining hall with tons more options, probably a bit more fresh. Same with things like internet service, etc.

If your son is somewhat social, he'll have no problem meeting new people anywhere (on campus, off campus). The fraternity system has a more built in function of this, but could also be artificial feeling. Same with things like academics, if he has initiative he can meet people in class to study with, on his floor, etc.

I lived in the residence halls and I have life long friends from that experience. I've known Greeks who could say the same. I also have had no troubles networking professionally (that is usually another "selling" point) I found lots of other leadership opportunities as a student.

I would say, remember the fraternity is trying to pay their bills (meaning, make sure they really want your son, not his $$$). And if they really do think he'd be a good fit, they'd be excited and respectful of his decision to pledge at a later time.

 

[GoCubsGo]

Most of the posts here have been thoughtful and respectful. What the hell is happening to Cyclone Fanatic???!!!???

 

[cyfan92]

Coming from someone who is a recruitment chair for a fraternity here on campus, we have so much more success recruiting sophomores to the house than freshman. I recommend for every freshman to give it a try! You don't need to sign a bid card, pay dues, or rush. Just go to some social events and hear what the chapter does/ can do for you. You will know after a couple times whether you like it or not.

To answer your question, LIVE IN THE DORMS!!! You need to meet new diverse people and get to come out of your shell more. There are plenty of events you will be involved in that you can bond with your pledge class without living in a house. Doing Yell Like Hell your freshman year is an event that you will have a lot of time taken to learning your routine, however the amount of girls you meet can not be replicated ANYWHERE.

By living in the dorms, you may also inversely recruit a Potential member who never considered to go GREEK. then your sophomore year, you can live-in and be more mature and adapt to handling the social life.

Hope that helps, feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns at all!

 

[SantaRosaCy]

Many very good points here from both sides of the fence. Personally I lived in the dorms my first year, frat years 2&3 and apartment my last year. I had a great time in the dorm, but for me the fraternity, and the bonds I created were incredible. We have one member who lives right by the stadium and we do reunions every five years or so and it has been incredible.

My son just enrolled at Iowa State, (from California, and yes I couldn't be happier) we went back for multiple orientations, and I left the decision up to him. He is very thoughtful and takes his time with these decisions, and decided to join a fraternity right away. I was obviously quite proud he joined the same house I was in, and having multiple other members with kids in the house, I feel comfortable with his decision. There are a number of great houses on campus, where your son can't go wrong. Others, not so much.

I was surprised to run the numbers and see that the fraternity was a less expensive option. While some may not be interested in campus activities, the Greek system does encourage campus involvement, and it is a great resume builder. I'm in my mid 50's and several of my close friends are retired already. I can say without hesitation the house, and their involvement in the house, and campus activities played a big part of their success. Unquestionably this is not for everyone.

If the OP wants to contact me directly I would welcome the chance to visit with you. I've spent a lot of time the past few months visiting with friends and students involved in campus, and the Greek system and am happy to provide what information I can.

 

[ianoconnor]

Frats cost more but, your son will likely have more encouragement to get better grades, get involved in extra activities, etc. You get none of that in dorms. Also, in a lot of cases you will have stronger network of relationships after college.

This is coming from someone who hated frats in college.

He has my blessing as long as it's not the PIKES!!!

As a former CA, I disagree.

 

[wonkadog]

I lived in the dorms freshman year and a frat the next two years and an apartment my senior year so I have knowledge of all types of living. The dorm was good because it allowed independence. The cafeteria meal plan was great and I met a lot of ladies there. Not sure that's what you want to hear about your son! I eventually joined a frat because I wanted to meet more guys (I've always had a tough time meeting guys) but eventually found out it was a lot of chest puffing and arguing over petty things. It was like the do-gooders in high school suddenly all became ******** so it was a combination of super "we need to be involved" and "anyone not like us is dumb". Maybe it was my personality that didn't mix with it but I quit after two years and moved out. If my future son asked me what to do I was encourage him to live in the dorms and make his own way. It's not that frats are bad for everyone or I am against them in general - it's just my my experience was not the best.

Well don't leave us hanging, did you nab yourself a keeper??

 

[bigdaddykane]

One of my friends is in a frat, and he turned into the biggest ****** bag ever

 

[wonkadog]

One of my friends is in a frat, and he turned into the biggest ****** bag ever

Now we're getting up to speed in this thread!