Frat vs. Dorms

[SoapyCy]

I lived in the dorms freshman year and a frat the next two years and an apartment my senior year so I have knowledge of all types of living. The dorm was good because it allowed independence. The cafeteria meal plan was great and I met a lot of ladies there. Not sure that's what you want to hear about your son! I eventually joined a frat because I wanted to meet more guys (I've always had a tough time meeting guys) but eventually found out it was a lot of chest puffing and arguing over petty things. It was like the do-gooders in high school suddenly all became ******** so it was a combination of super "we need to be involved" and "anyone not like us is dumb". Maybe it was my personality that didn't mix with it but I quit after two years and moved out. If my future son asked me what to do I was encourage him to live in the dorms and make his own way. It's not that frats are bad for everyone or I am against them in general - it's just my my experience was not the best.

 

[isuno1fan]

Both are fine options. I did the fraternity thing and it was right for me.

 

[ThurgoodMarshal]

Is this a serious question? just kidding.


From what I know: I did the dorms freshman year and absolutely loved it. My buddies were in a frat, and they seemed to enjoy it, however there were many times they couldn't get together and hang out or have free time due to frat obligations.

This. I did both during my college career. Just make sure that your son knows how big of a commitment being in a fraternity actually is.

 

[HFCS]

Always seemed to me like the biggest advantage to Greek system was easy way to get girls, especially with the male/female ratio when I was at ISU. Even at non Greek parties a girl would ask where I live and obviously wanted to know which frat I was in, got harder when I told them I did live in a house but just a regular 6 bedroom house (some fit the stereotype and were that ditzy they couldn't understand house doesn't always mean frat). Don't regret not joining though because I was too independent and ready to move on from the feeling of high school social circles.

my friends and I got a six bedroom house sophomore year and four of us still talk to each other on a daily basis 14 years after graduation so it's certainly possible to form lasting bonds living off campus as well.

 

[cyrocksmypants]

When I talk to people from other colleges, I really do think Iowa State, more than most schools, has a hatred between the Greeks and the non-Greek system. Really is quite the rift. Or at least was when I went there ten years ago, anyway.

 

[ISUagger]

I found being in a fraternity was a great thing for me, but it certainly isn't for everyone. It's a huge time commitment and isn't really for people who need decent amounts of free time for other activities. My twin brother who also posts here would say be made the right choice too by living in dorms/apartments. He got better grades, I was more involved on campus. (Not that I didn't get good grades, he just never got below a 3.8). As long as it's ISU, I would say you can't go wrong.

 

[SCarolinaCy]

This will go well.....

NOT.

 

[cloneswereall]

Why the hell does the decision for an incoming freshman need to be made 3 weeks before classes start? I thought most people moved into the dorms the first time a week before classes start, so why the hell would you force someone to decide to join a frat before they even spend a day on campus?

I dunno. That seems like renting a home without being able to read the lease and do a walk-through to me.

 

[Al_4_State]

Serious question. Shouldn't you be on a bicycle right now?

I just rode one day.

Back to work.

 

[HFCS]

I found being in a fraternity was a great thing for me, but it certainly isn't for everyone. It's a huge time commitment and isn't really for people who need decent amounts of free time for other activities. My twin brother who also posts here would say be made the right choice too by living in dorms/apartments. He got better grades, I was more involved on campus. (Not that I didn't get good grades, he just never got below a 3.8). As long as it's ISU, I would say you can't go wrong.

In my major it was normal to have up to ten projects a semester that maybe took 15-30 hours. I do remember a few kids in Greek system talking about time. Not as bad as the scholarship volleyball player where a professor told her she needed to chose another major if she stayed in volleyball.

 

[BringBackJohnny]

Fraternity is the way to go. More is expected of you in a fraternity and you learn how to really live and work with all types of people. Great experience for real world.

Red flag on the fraternity being pushy though. If you son likes the idea there are tons to look at. Don't have to jump at the first one.

 

[CycoCyclone]

I moved into a Frat my Freshman year and left for the dorms after that.

I would say that Frat's have evolved a LOT in the last 10 years for the better. An average GPA higher than the rest of the school.

 

[RubyClone]

43 y/o here.

Spent 2 years on campus, 1 year off, 2 final in the fraternity.

I LOVED my fraternity experience. Had much more fun than my dorm years - by far. But I don't know that I would've felt the same way had I joined the fraternity immediately. And my fraternity was new on campus at the time, and very easy going. None of the hazing or general bs you typically hear about fraternities.

As for grades, my best grades over time were probably in the dorms, although my worst and then my best semesters were in the fraternity. But obviously that's more about the person and how they handle their environment. Some thrive, some may become too distracted by all the opportunities. I'm not sure I would worry much about one over the other. And it does come down to how much the particular fraternity handles grades. Our 1st semester back on campus, our house GPA was pathetic, and our Chapter advisor really laid into us - and big time. And it made a difference. Other houses may not care as much. If you have genuine concerns - most houses have/had chapter and faculty advisors. You may want to seek those people out.

I would say it probably comes down to how your son really feels about the fraternity itself. Does he feel comfortable with the guys in it. Does he like their house and amenities? I know too many kids who just jumped into a house so they could be in a frat, only to hate it. My path was a bit more fortunate - I got to know a lot of the guys in the hosue before joining it. The best thing is you get to have a bit of a choice going into the fraternity. You don't really get that moving into a dorm.

I didn't NOT enjoy my dorm experience (mostly). But to me it was much more of an every man for himself type of arrangement. There wasn't much cohesiveness, and living is such close quarters with people you likely don't know, perhaps don't like - can get tiresome. What was worst was living in Towers my freshman year and having I don't know how many fire alarms every week. Got old really fast.

 

[ISUCyclones2015]

I looked into it a little bit but didn't really rush. But my dorm floor was probably the best thing that could've happened. 25 guys, 23 of which were Freshman. So we went through the growing pains of college together and it was basically a mini frat in itself. There is like 9 of us still in school (lots of people dropped out or got kicked out because of grades) and we live in two houses basically right next to each other and we hang out every day.

Basically we're friends for life and got each other's back much like a fraternity. Without the cost or time restrictions.

 

[tzjung]

I was in a Fraternity and it was much CHEAPER than the dorms (1998-2002). The fraternity itself may have the possibility for additional scholarships as well to help you through.

 

[benjay]

If you ran for student office in high school, frats are for you. For the slouches in the back row - go independent.

edit: this is coming from a slouch in the back row

 

[SoapyCy]

If you ran for student office in high school, frats are for you.

Yes, and those guys all turn into pseudo-jocks as soon as they get in the frat.

 

[awd4cy]

If you like all of the clicks and social groups that made up high school then it's best to go with frats.

 

[Daserop]

dorm. Easier time seeing the ladies. Found my wife just down the hall from my dorm room.

 

[Clonefan32]

I will say, the fact that this particular frat put an August deadline on his decision is troublesome. For me, I spent a semester in the dorms before I joined. I spent more and more time at the house and became more sure of my decision as I saw the advantages of the frat versus the dorm. I know several people who went to a party or two, joined without knowing the expectations, and eventually got kicked out. Just make sure your son knows exactly what he is in for.