Another Female Teacher 'Incident'

[BCClone]

When I was in school, there was one situation like this.

I'm saying I don't think there is anything wrong with a double standard, because men and women are DIFFERENT.

Here's one then. When I was a junior a sophomore was hit on by a teacher. Our school closed after my junior year and this is when the teacher made their move. When the sophomore told some of us what happened, we felt that it was an advance. Nobody thought any of it was a friendly invite. The student was a male and so was the teacher. The student was 16, so this was fine since both are consensual?

 

[ArgentCy]

Maybe if a woman teacher coerced a student to have sex, she is a sex offender and should be treated as such? Just because she didn't (doesn't) have to try very hard doesn't make it less of a crime

Should there be a difference between enticing a person who has lived 6,574 days and one that has only lived 5,844 days?

 

[Peter]

Should there be a difference between enticing a person who has lived 6,574 days and one that has only lived 5,844 days?

Yes

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Should there be a difference between enticing a person who has lived 6,574 days and one that has only lived 5,844 days?

Yes

 

[3TrueFans]

Should there be a difference between enticing a person who has lived 6,574 days and one that has only lived 5,844 days?

I think we're all clear on your stance on sleeping with minors, Argent.

 

[SCyclone]

If a 28 year old female and a 17 year old male are having consensual sex, and are not breaking any federal, state, or local statutes, then that's their business. (We won't get into whether or not either of them are married, that's a whole different discussion.)

If, however, the older person is in a position of authority over the younger person, say for example their boss, or parole officer, or teacher, then the situation has changed dramatically. That authority is now usurping itself for gain, and clouding the entire situation. Imagine if it were a pastor and one of his parishioners (and, probably, confessors). Do you think there might be a bit of confusion between the two parties?

Even putting gender and age aside, it's just going to make the entire relationship change, and not for the better. The person in authority has to maintain a professional atmosphere, and having sex won't help.

 

[NWICY]

One thing to make note of in these cases. While sex is a huge part of the issuen it's not just about sex, it's about power.

The attractive 25 year old at the start of this thread could have easily gotten laid without consequence if she wanted to. She chose to have sex with students because of the power it gave her.

Similar to violent sexual assault. It is often commuted by men who could have consensual sex if they wanted, but they want the power that comes with the assault.

A 17 year old boy is in many ways a "man" but there is a psychological component to having sex with a teacher that can affect adolescents in the future.

It is interesting that it's so much easier to understand this affect on a young woman than it is on a young man. But it still exists.

I'm thinking Hopp got hit on by the not hot teacher. Sorry Hopp to easy to pass up, I'll let the adults go back to discussing it seriously.

 

[ArgentCy]

I think we're all clear on your stance on sleeping with minors, Argent.

Not me, people like this don't make society better off being in jail.

 

[ArgentCy]

Yes

It depends on the state and I guess its just up to every adult to know the law. Cause its the law damnit.

 

[ArgentCy]

I think we're all clear on your stance on sleeping with minors, Argent.

Let's try another tactic here, would you change your opinion if we talk about inheriting money instead. Should there be any legal restrictions to not allow a 16 year old to inherit money. Granted in this case there is no criminal in danger of going to jail.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Let's try another tactic here, would you change your opinion if we talk about inheriting money instead. Should there be any legal restrictions to not allow a 16 year old to inherit money. Granted in this case there is no criminal in danger of going to jail.

Not that these two examples are even remotely on the same playing field, but most states have age limits for who can manage inherited money because those of a younger age aren't deemed mature enough.

 

[Cyched]

Should there be a difference between enticing a person who has lived 6,574 days and one that has only lived 5,844 days?

(whips out calculator)

Yes.

 

[cyhiphopp]

I'm thinking Hopp got hit on by the not hot teacher. Sorry Hopp to easy to pass up, I'll let the adults go back to discussing it seriously.

Coincidentally, when I was 17 there was a group of us who would hang out and talk to a young Spanish teacher. She was right out of college so not much older than us. Nothing happened but if it did there should have been consequences. She was just a good friend at the time, though I did have a little crush on her.

 

[isutrevman]

You are beyond help.

Very

When I was in school, there was one situation like this.


Here's one then. When I was a junior a sophomore was hit on by a teacher. Our school closed after my junior year and this is when the teacher made their move. When the sophomore told some of us what happened, we felt that it was an advance. Nobody thought any of it was a friendly invite. The student was a male and so was the teacher. The student was 16, so this was fine since both are consensual?

Was the student into it? If not, then no, it's not fine. Also, I don't know what state you were in, but 16 was probably under the age of legal consent, so no, it wasn't fine. The fact that the teacher was a man, does make it worse in my mind.

If a teacher has a consensual relationship with a student that is over the legal age, I think it should be LEGAL, that doesn't mean they shouldn't be fired. I'm fine with these female teachers getting fired, just like I'd be fine with a manager getting fired for having a relationship with an employee, if it goes against company policy.

I should have specified that I'm only fine with it if the student it over the legal age.

 

[isutrevman]

If a 28 year old female and a 17 year old male are having consensual sex, and are not breaking any federal, state, or local statutes, then that's their business. (We won't get into whether or not either of them are married, that's a whole different discussion.)

If, however, the older person is in a position of authority over the younger person, say for example their boss, or parole officer, or teacher, then the situation has changed dramatically. That authority is now usurping itself for gain, and clouding the entire situation. Imagine if it were a pastor and one of his parishioners (and, probably, confessors). Do you think there might be a bit of confusion between the two parties?

Even putting gender and age aside, it's just going to make the entire relationship change, and not for the better. The person in authority has to maintain a professional atmosphere, and having sex won't help.

Agreed. That doesn't make it illegal though. It would certainly be a fire able offense if it is against company policy (which I think it would be in most cases, including schools)

 

[ImJustKCClone]

Very
Was the student into it? If not, then no, it's not fine. Also, I don't know what state you were in, but 16 was probably under the age of legal consent, so no, it wasn't fine. The fact that the teacher was a man, does make it worse in my mind.
If a teacher has a consensual relationship with a student that is over the legal age, I think it should be LEGAL, that doesn't mean they shouldn't be fired. I'm fine with these female teachers getting fired, just like I'd be fine with a manager getting fired for having a relationship with an employee, if it goes against company policy.
I should have specified that I'm only fine with it if the student it over the legal age.

Trevman - I'm going to say something that I honestly DO NOT mean to sound condescending, so please try to take that into account. I noticed that you are a student on your profile, although you've apparently been a member of CF for 10 years...so maybe mid to late 20s, and I'm guessing male? You and I are approaching this from two entirely different perspectives, and that may be why we disagree (I'm a considerably older woman). Your thoughts on this topic may change some when you have teenagers of your own, and you start looking at it from the parent angle rather than the potential participant.
In a non-authority figure position, yeah, age difference (once both parties are consenting) is not illegal, although I would comment that the difference in maturity between a 30 year old and a 17 year old is far greater than that between a 53 year old and 40 year old, even though the number of years of separation is the same.
Most businesses have company policy that prohibits intimate relationships between supervisor and subordinate, with very good reason.

You say that men & women (or boys & girls) are different, and yes, to a certain extent they can be. However, if you think girls don't try to seduce teachers and boys don't fall victim to teacher seduction, think again. We need to keep the rules and the punishments the same regardless of the gender, and quit calling the boys "lucky" if the teacher is "hot". It's misguided.

 

[ArgentCy]

Not that these two examples are even remotely on the same playing field, but most states have age limits for who can manage inherited money because those of a younger age aren't deemed mature enough.

I guess I have a higher opinion and expectation of kids than most. I don't want any 30 year old kids coming back to live in my basement.

 

[SpokaneCY]

Your segues into all the other "what ifs" have no bearing because the topic is TEACHERS and STUDENTS.

Clearly neither of you is following the train of thought here. I'm not surprised. Once more, for the learning impaired:

There is a clear double standard - a female teacher can get away with quite a bit of sexual abuse because by God, every teenage boy has the right to **** a teacher.

That's really offensive and I challenge you to find ANYWHERE on this or any other thread that ANYONE claims to have a right to **** a teacher. If so, I stand corrected.

Double standard? Hell yeah and there is nothing illegal or immoral or inconsistent about it. If you don't think there are very real differences between the genders (and all the other made-for-PC categories) then it's clear YOU are not following the train of thought.

Once more for the learning impaired (is what someone posted recently):

Teachers should not have sex with students. It is a condition to employment and should be NO MORE than that absent true abuse. ALL abuse should be punished and I don't care if its the classroom or at freaking blockbuster video. In your very stark reality you claim that NO 17 year old student can have sex with ANYONE at his or her school regardless of age, regardless of job responsibilities and duties. Your default position is abuse - nothing more and nothing less. You see it is a legal issue with no room for context.

I, like several others in this thread, don't exist inside your pre-set boundaries on age and authority and consent. I challenge your assertion that all sex between someone in education and someone being educated is "illegal" while in every other profession it isn't even a firing offense.

Is it a double standard when a 20+ year old male teacher has sex with a teenage girl at his school? Yep. It's creepy and it feels creepy. It's also biology and sociology and physiology and culture. It's creepy regardless of how you mix and match the sexual orientations of the parties involved. But creepy isn't automatically illegal IMHO.

Would I be proud of my son if he boned a teacher? Nope. Would I be proud of my daughter if she boned a teacher? Nope. But the actual conditions would dictate the amount of my outrage beyond your default "abuse" schtick.

 

[SpokaneCY]

The attractive 25 year old at the start of this thread could have easily gotten laid without consequence if she wanted to. She chose to have sex with students because of the power it gave her.


It is interesting that it's so much easier to understand this affect on a young woman than it is on a young man. But it still exists.

Sex is a power thing but only in a classroom setting, and the impact on young men who have sex with teachers exists. Even if neither of those things are true in many cases.

What about college? Being 17 year 364 days old in high school disappears when I'm 18 and 1 day old in college. Doesn't seem arbitrary to me at all.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

That's really offensive and I challenge you to find ANYWHERE on this or any other thread that ANYONE claims to have a right to **** a teacher. If so, I stand corrected.

Double standard? Hell yeah and there is nothing illegal or immoral or inconsistent about it. If you don't think there are very real differences between the genders (and all the other made-for-PC categories) then it's clear YOU are not following the train of thought.

Once more for the learning impaired (is what someone posted recently):

Teachers should not have sex with students. It is a condition to employment and should be NO MORE than that absent true abuse. ALL abuse should be punished and I don't care if its the classroom or at freaking blockbuster video. In your very stark reality you claim that NO 17 year old student can have sex with ANYONE at his or her school regardless of age, regardless of job responsibilities and duties. Your default position is abuse - nothing more and nothing less. You see it is a legal issue with no room for context.

I, like several others in this thread, don't exist inside your pre-set boundaries on age and authority and consent. I challenge your assertion that all sex between someone in education and someone being educated is "illegal" while in every other profession it isn't even a firing offense.

Is it a double standard when a 20+ year old male teacher has sex with a teenage girl at his school? Yep. It's creepy and it feels creepy. It's also biology and sociology and physiology and culture. It's creepy regardless of how you mix and match the sexual orientations of the parties involved. But creepy isn't automatically illegal IMHO.

Would I be proud of my son if he boned a teacher? Nope. Would I be proud of my daughter if she boned a teacher? Nope. But the actual conditions would dictate the amount of my outrage beyond your default "abuse" schtick.

tl:dr
Read the first pages of this thread.