Toxic Boss - How do you cope?

[Peter]

If she is, hit it (the boss) and quit it (both the boss and the job).

Lol, I did discover after starting that she has a reputation for hiring hot younger men who she can parade around at art galleries, etc. I’m not sure I fit the bill, but she has taken me to several opening already so maybe that’s my role. She also ruffled my hair the day after a haircut which is when I new something was seriously ******.

 

[cycloner29]

71 year old high and mighty. Reminds me of the old lady on the Wolf eye commercial.

I don't know how big the firm is you work for but if you are doing good work and you have a social network like LinkedIn or something, you shouldn't have a problem finding a job. Get your resume on Indeed!!

Has she always a "my crap doesn't stink" kinda person?

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Forget the horrible boss, you work for an art dealer? I want to know more about the job itself.

I've seen enough movies to know that he's likely dealing with black market antiquities and recreations of sculptures used for smuggling drugs and firearms.

 

[cmjh10]

Just say "okay boomer" over and over until she fires you.

 

[aauummm]

Lol, I did discover after starting that she has a reputation for hiring hot younger men who she can parade around at art galleries, etc. I’m not sure I fit the bill, but she has taken me to several opening already so maybe that’s my role. She also ruffled my hair the day after a haircut which is when I new something was seriously ******.

Cougar?

 

[Sigmapolis]

This is the best description of my first boss I have ever found --

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micromanagement

It was like this bizarre mixture of the following --

Glengarry Glen Ross
The Hunger Games
Office Space
Rain Main
Tommy Boy

My best advice -- there is not a way to fix such people.

Find a different job.

Keep your head down in the meantime.

 

[Peter]

71 year old high and mighty. Reminds me of the old lady on the Wolf eye commercial.

I don't know how big the firm is you work for but if you are doing good work and you have a social network like LinkedIn or something, you shouldn't have a problem finding a job. Get your resume on Indeed!!

Has she always a "my crap doesn't stink" kinda person?

she’s the founder of the company so it’s really her play thing. Last month she threw away a piece of art worth at least $10,000 and tried to blame everyone else because she doesn’t know how to unpack boxes and someone else should have checked the box before she threw it away with the art inside. I wish I was kidding.

 

[Cy$]

If she is, hit it (the boss) and quit it (both the boss and the job).

we don't condone physical violence of women on cyclone fanatic.

 

[Beernuts]

Had a boss that would throw a tantrum when things weren't going well. One day he was shaking his fists in the air and swearing at anyone that walked by him. I thought he was kidding and started laughing at him (he looked like a toddler). A couple months later I took a different job

 

[kkise]

she’s the founder of the company so it’s really her play thing. Last month she threw away a price of art worth at least $10,000 and tried to blame everyone else because she doesn’t know how to unpack boxes and someone else should have checked the box before she threw it away with the art inside. I wish I was kidding.

I'm sorry to hear that. I'll go with everyone else and say find a new job.

Of course, maybe she's mad that your on Cyclone Fanatic all the time.

 

[Peter]

Cougar?

Of course, maybe she's mad that your on Cyclone Fanatic all the time.

that’s the worst part. She is always sneaking up behind me so I can’t spend my usual 3.5 hours arguing about Steve Prohm.

 

[Cyfern]

Always take care of #1, even if that means GTFO. Until then, I'd say just keep looking forward and not at the now. If you're job hunting, you know your current status is temporary and only a means to the next stage in life. Treat it as such; don't let your current spot bring you down knowing that something better is out there, and you're trying to find it.

I've seen more than a few people get ruined by **** jobs or bosses. If nothing changes, the best option is to head out for your own well-being. I'm sure you know this, evidenced by the fact that you're already telling us about the specific issues you're facing.

Agree. I've had one of these bosses. Needed psychotherapy. I'm serious. It ruined my career, but not my life. It's your choice.

 

[Cyfern]

Lol, I did discover after starting that she has a reputation for hiring hot younger men who she can parade around at art galleries, etc. I’m not sure I fit the bill, but she has taken me to several opening already so maybe that’s my role. She also ruffled my hair the day after a haircut which is when I new something was seriously ******.

File a sexual harassment claim against her. That's inappropriate touching. Do it. It works for women.

 

[GTO]

that’s the worst part. She is always sneaking up behind me so I can’t spend my usual 3.5 hours arguing about Steve Prohm.

Oh, you should DEFINITELY quit. Not being able to be on CF during business hours is the dealbreaker.

 

[Isualum13]

A good vise helps me cope.

 

[Cyched]

A good vise helps me cope.

 

[LarryISU]

In a larger corporate structure, I think the answer is to find a couple other people who agree with you and approach HR together. But if she is the top dog and HR is either non-existent or ineffective, then I think others have given you the answer, get out of there.

I never really quit a good job under your circumstances, but I did have offices go out of business and force me to look elsewhere. If you are a good worker and have intelligence and skills that are of value in the marketplace, in my experience you can always land on your feet and actually be better off. I am retired now, but any job I went to after getting laid off turned out to be a better job, though I didn't expect that when it happened. Your work is such a big part of your life, it is not worth it, IMO, to put up with an irrational boss.

 

[Isualum13]

You need to have an image of a coping saw as well to complete the pun.

 

[JM4CY]

This is kind of helpful. From Harvard.

https://hbr.org/2018/09/what-to-do-when-you-have-a-bad-boss

or you could just get drunk and have sex with her like CF tells you to. Your call really. Might need a poll...

 

[Gonzo]

I work for an art dealer and my boss is insane. She treats everyone like her personal assistant and is constantly playing mind games. You never know when she will blow up about the slightest issue. Recently she tried to pressure me into attending a New Year’s Day party at her house by suggested that my career “might” depend on it and then guilt tripped me hard for spending NYE with my family.

It has gotten to the point where I feel stupid all the time and am making silly mistakes because my stress level is so high. I’m actively looking for another job but until then I need to survive as best I can. For those of you who are/have been where I am, how do you cope?

Sorry, that blows. I've never had anything this bad, but I would suggest when you do leave keep it as amicable as possible. No matter how much you despise her and how good it would feel to tell her off upon leaving, I'm a firm believer in not burning professional bridges.