Toxic Boss - How do you cope?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Peter, Jan 20, 2020.

  1. Peter

    Peter Well-Known Member

    Feb 21, 2010
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    I work for an art dealer and my boss is insane. She treats everyone like her personal assistant and is constantly playing mind games. You never know when she will blow up about the slightest issue. Recently she tried to pressure me into attending a New Year’s Day party at her house by suggested that my career “might” depend on it and then guilt tripped me hard for spending NYE with my family.

    It has gotten to the point where I feel stupid all the time and am making silly mistakes because my stress level is so high. I’m actively looking for another job but until then I need to survive as best I can. For those of you who are/have been where I am, how do you cope?
     
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  2. isufbcurt

    isufbcurt Well-Known Member

    Apr 21, 2006
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    Interesting, very, very interesting. Sounds like she wanted to seduce you.

    Also, sounds like Jennifer Aniston's character in Horrible Bosses. Is she hot? Pics will be required to assist (if they aren't appropriate for this board feel free to PM them to me).
     
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  3. CoachHines3

    CoachHines3 Active Member

    Oct 29, 2019
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    i think shes on this board and might see this post

    if she isnt on this board she will be after i hit send on my email to her
     
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  4. coolerifyoudid

    coolerifyoudid Well-Known Member

    Feb 8, 2013
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    Is there any sort of HR or hierarchy to bring concerns to, or is she it?
     
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  5. Cy$

    Cy$ Well-Known Member

    Sep 1, 2011
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    I've been in a similar situation.

    I left because the stress got too much. You have to understand the risk you're taking if that's the route you go. A person's mental health is more important than money or anything career wise IMO. I was pretty messed up after quitting but found a job I really like and am happy I left.

    Some questions to consider:
    1) Are you ok with taking a lower job in the meantime if you quit?
    2) How quick would you find a job similar to the one you have?

    It's your call but it sounds like you should consider quitting if it's effecting you that much. Life is too short to be miserable. The director and my boss got demotions out of the ordeal after other co-workers talked to higher management...so don't be afraid voice your opinion to her boss if you can.
     
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  6. cyclone4L

    cyclone4L Well-Known Member

    Jun 30, 2013
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    I would find new employment. Never cope with poor management.
     
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  7. MeowingCows

    MeowingCows Well-Known Member

    Jun 1, 2015
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    Always take care of #1, even if that means GTFO. Until then, I'd say just keep looking forward and not at the now. If you're job hunting, you know your current status is temporary and only a means to the next stage in life. Treat it as such; don't let your current spot bring you down knowing that something better is out there, and you're trying to find it.

    I've seen more than a few people get ruined by **** jobs or bosses. If nothing changes, the best option is to head out for your own well-being. I'm sure you know this, evidenced by the fact that you're already telling us about the specific issues you're facing.
     
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  8. jpete24

    jpete24 Well-Known Member

    Mar 25, 2006
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    A key to a good job is hating it.
     
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  9. mb7299

    mb7299 Well-Known Member

    Mar 15, 2013
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    I second the life is to short for a job that makes you miserable. Move on but realize you might make a little less money in the short term but you'll make up for it in happiness.
     
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  10. throwittoblythe

    throwittoblythe Well-Known Member

    Aug 7, 2006
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    The long term answer, in a simple sense, is likely to just find a different job. Of course, that can be complicated given the specifics, but we don't have all those at this moment. This doesn't sound like someone who values you and is not someone I would want to commit a significant portion of my time to.

    That being said, I dealt with this early in my career as well. I had a boss who would constantly berate and/or throw me under the bus during meetings. I was a new-hire right out of college, and if I didn't do it right with no instruction, I was the one who was screwing it up, not him. I sought counsel from other leaders who helped with a few things, but ultimately, I couldn't work with that guy. I eventually was placed under a different leader which kept me from leaving the company. But I was fully prepared to quit had that not happened.
     
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  11. CloneFan4

    CloneFan4 Well-Known Member

    Aug 5, 2010
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    Do you meditate? Sticking to it is hell for the first couple of weeks but you'll start to look forward to it day in and day out. It will really help with your stress levels. I sympathize with you on making the dumb mistakes. I get crazy brain fog when I'm stressed and then it feeds into anxiety/depression and it's a vicious cycle.

    Like I said, try meditating, make sure you're eating enough healthy fats, workout. See if that helps but the important thing is you're being proactive searching for another job rather than just ******** about it. Good on you
     
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  12. CyBobby

    CyBobby Well-Known Member

    Oct 18, 2006
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    I say just take the bull by the horns and Find a New Boss ......
     
  13. CyCrazy

    CyCrazy Well-Known Member

    Dec 17, 2008
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    I've only had 1 ahole boss. I left after a year. That guy can still pound sand.
     
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  14. Peter

    Peter Well-Known Member

    Feb 21, 2010
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    shes 71 years old and maybe senile. Some maybe into that, idk.
     
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  15. Macloney

    Macloney Well-Known Member

    Feb 28, 2014
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    I worked for an insane boss who was basically the owner and the lack of professionalism was off the charts. He would belittle people constantly, yell profanities, talk about "throat punching" people and started a serious relationship with an HR intern who was a VP's family member around 20 some years his younger. He ended up leaving his wife for her and brought her on with no experience as our HR Manager.

    I was kind of always okay with his craziness because it wasn't ever directed at me. Until it was. Dude was berating an employee who legitimately messed something up big time. Then he proceed to jump me because I was mentally checked out. He couldn't provide any examples and I had just gotten back from vacation, so maybe that was it?

    Anyway, I always said that if he yelled at me like that I would quit. I walked out and called my wife (for permission) and quit 10 minutes later. Best two week notice ever.
     
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  16. cyclone4L

    cyclone4L Well-Known Member

    Jun 30, 2013
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    I had one bad boss in my career, and he was REALLY bad. He always picked favorites. He never showed up on time and he would blame the workers for the poor performances.

    ALWAYS choose the leader who elevates you and you would go into war with.

    Also.... if you have to post in a forum about how bad it is, it's time for a change.

    Best of luck. We can help with editing your resume if you would like.
     
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  17. Cyched

    Cyched Minister of Culture
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    We’re trying to help him
     
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  18. Dandy

    Dandy Well-Known Member

    Oct 11, 2012
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    Forget the horrible boss, you work for an art dealer? I want to know more about the job itself.
     
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  19. GTO

    GTO Well-Known Member

    Mar 25, 2014
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    If she is, hit it (the boss) and quit it (both the boss and the job).
     
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  20. GTO

    GTO Well-Known Member

    Mar 25, 2014
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    Nevermind.
     
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