Serious question: Are kids worth it?

[AirWalke]

I've always told people that you'll know if you want kids. If you don't want them, don't expect to suddenly enjoy parenting. For us, it was a goal to start a family. Some days are an absolute pain, but overall it's worth it... for us.

I will say, make absolute certain your finances are in order. We always told people that we were waiting to finish graduate school and improve our income, and the biggest fib I ever heard was "Ohhh but if you keep waiting until you're financially ready, you'll never have kids". Bull f'ing ****. Don't have kids until you know you can afford the biggest financial shocks, like hospital visits, job losses, etc. Hell, daycare on its own can match or exceed a mortgage payment or monthly rent for some of us. Unless we somehow enact universal child care in the US within the next several years, this fact of life will not go away. Child care is EXPENSIVE.

I don't even know how we would have afforded kids if we still had the jobs we had in our 20s. We're doing better now, but the idea of raising kids in our financial situation a decade ago is laughable.

That said, I know your friends are having kids left and right, but they're all being driven by this societal pressure to have them when they might not be prepared. Maybe, emotionally, they are. Financially, unless they landed a golden goose egg of a career right out of college, or they have no debt whatsoever, then they're probably not.

Have kids when you're ready and prepared to give your offspring a quality life. Do not succumb to the pressure, listen to yourself and your SO first and foremost.

 

[AgronAlum]

Also, 2 is fine, 3 is a ******* circus.

I’m about to have my third. Thanks for the heads up. I could have used that about 8 months ago. Lol. I was unsure about a third but my wife desperately wanted a second so we compromised and had another.

To answer the OP, kids are absolutely worth it as long as your happy with the parent your other half will be. Make sure you’re on the same page. My oldest with my ex is about to be 9 and has had a lot of issues due to his mother. He’s seen way more manipulation and abuse at 8 than any kid should ever have to. My youngest son and my soon to be daughter are fantastic due to their fantastic mother.

Financially, their a terrible decision. Take what you think they’ll cost and double it. You will lose every sense of independence you think you have. They will consume all of your time. Your hobbies will go by the wayside.

 

[Peter]

It’s Saturday so all the kids are staying up late tonight watching YouTube or playing video games in their beds. Just made everyone popcorn and the house feels full, warm, and safe. I love the feeling of everyone being taken care of. Family is worth more than money or free time.

 

[nfrine]

As cyclone fans it’s also important that we out breed Hawkeye nation, so remember that this is ultimately bigger than you.

Good luck with that. Do you know how many tavern Hoks there are?

 

[CRcyclone6]

My wife and I got married when we were 30 and had our first at 34. Our third and last came when we were 41, he may have the best birthday ever (11-11-11).

They are definitely worth it.

 

[cycub51]

I was reading this last night and thinking yes and no. Depending on your desires for life and personality. I have two little boys and a lot of days I think my personality doesn’t fit being a good parent of a 3.5 year old and 4 month old. After looking at the first page or so we go for a walk and my 3 year wanted to push a bigger toy car on the sidewalk. He was doing well with it but my fear is always him crashing it. You try to warn them but he’s humming along and the toy hits a lip in the concrete and he flies over the toy totally scraping the side of his face and hands. He says a popsicle will make him feel better but of course no popsicles at home. Drive to the store and buy him a popsicle. He eats it and looks at me and says “thank you that made it feel better”. I think to myself yep having kids is totally worth it.

 

[iowa_wildcat]

If you have to ask about having children, you probably should not have children.

 

[Dr.bannedman]

If you have to ask about having children, you probably should not have children.

This might be the worst advice I’ve ever read

 

[Big_Sill]

Yes, you move very quickly from not knowing what you’re gonna do WITH them, to not knowing what you would do WITHOUT them.

 

[Pope]

To the person who started this thread, lucky for you that your own parents didn't ask themselves the same question.

 

[mkadl]

The more my friends keep popping out kids, the more ******** I hear about all the negatives. My wife and I are in our late 20’s and are eventually planning on starting a family, but everything I hear sounds terrible. For the parents on here, would you do it all again?

Being an empty nester in 2014 for the first time since 1981, I can tell you that you get old fast without kids. The lawn is finally perfect. Cleaning floors is only done once a week. All cars are in the garage. When the kids or grandkids visit, I think of why everything was always nice and perfect at my parents house when they became empty nesters. I thought they were superhuman, they simply had time to take care of the details. I miss the shattered glass on the patio table, the screwed up lawn under the swing set and the swing set (and tire swing). Footprints through the newly planted/seeded vegetable garden, dead batteries in the kids cars at the wrong time, stepping in ninja turtles, taking the kids potty on the roadside. Home life is so easy now, don't know if I like it or not, I am still not used to it. Wanting a little one to love and nurture is so natural, no matter how old the "little one" is. My opinion.

 

[mkadl]

It isn't that hard. Just be responsible and love them.

This.

 

[Dr.bannedman]

To the person who started this thread, lucky for you that your own parents didn't ask themselves the same question.

Logic 1/10

 

[cycloneML]

Helps lock down the old lady

 

[cb1030]

I don't even have kids and remodelling home this year for the first real time plus extra workload from covid issues about had me in a seriously bad mental state for the first time in my life.

You know, I was warned that it would be impossible and that I was crazy to even attempt it. A year later and I’ve almost finished two bathrooms that were demolished down to the studs and rebuilt, all new flooring for the entire house, repainted everything, all new kitchen, window treatments, and countless odds and ends. Anything is possible if you don’t listen to the naysayers.

There is certainly a cost though. I’ve done a lot of work in the evenings while I carry the baby monitor praying that I don’t have to leave something half way done that will need to be started over. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend doing what I’ve done and I have no doubt that it’s had a toll on my sanity, but it’s not impossible. I’m certainly happy for the progress I’ve made so far because my family has a nicer environment to live in.

I think the biggest naysayer initially was my wife because she has no background in construction/diy and was having to completely just go off of trust that this wouldn’t be a disaster. Now she’s like once you’re done with our house let’s start flipping homes

 

[madguy30]

To the person who started this thread, lucky for you that your own parents didn't ask themselves the same question.

What does that have to do with that person making the decision?

 

[Cydkar]

I feel sorry for everyone that can't, or choose not to, have children. Even if it's a choice they don't know what they are missing. I would never tell them that but it's what I think, every time, without exception.

I'm not talking about people who absolutely have no business having children. There are far too many of those that DO have kids.

 

[Cydkar]

To the person who started this thread, lucky for you that your own parents didn't ask themselves the same question.

This is completely irrelevant...and stupid.

 

[dmclone]

Do people really expect parents who have had kids to say that it was a mistake that they had them? Do people really expect couples who decided not to have kids to say that is was a mistake?

 

[NoCreativity]

Off topic but my 2 year old was going to bed like clockwork at 6:30 all through the dark winter months.

Now with the recent time change she acts like the Earth has been tilted off its axis and won't go down until alot later now with alot of protesting.

No more relaxing evenings for awhile I guess.