To add to BC's comments - children definitely complicate things.

Family holidays in the past were easier because families stayed relatively close, geography wise. When they're all spread out, it's tough to bring them together all at the same time. We've been grateful to have 14 of the 16 grandkids & their parents here twice in the last few years, and those were not on traditional holiday dates - we gathered once for Lew's 60th and again for a "bon voyage" party for youngest when he moved his crew to Okinawa for three years.
IMO, some parents need to learn when to let go. We have our Thanksgiving dinner the Saturday after, and whoever shows, shows. Same way for NYE - we have the party every year, and sometimes we have 8-10 people, and sometimes we have 25-30. We have a good time either way.
And sometimes kids need to let go also. We stopped having a family Christmas gathering about 10 years ago. After re-scheduling a half-dozen times due to one kid or another changing their plans to suit their other parents & inlaws (blended families are SO fun!), and expecting us to contact everyone to reschedule, I finally told Lew the hell with it - we're going to AZ next year. And we did. Shocked the heck out of the kids! But now, they all have their own close knit Christmas mornings in their own homes. And I think that's a good thing. Christmas should not have the added stress of having to please everyone all the time.
