Need some advice on a relationship
- Thread starter GoSTATE71
- Start date
sounds like she's doing all the right things. Not to sound mean, but you mention you've not had experience with this type of thing. Is it possible she's tried to feel you out at some point and you reacted badly? Say, she talked about the at risk kids and you made an offhand comment about meth addicts/crack addicts - you know what I mean? Something that would just roll past anyone else, but to her would have felt like a sucker punch. I could see something like that keeping her from wanting to talk about it.
And like many others have said. She did trust you enough to tell you about it. That says a lot.
That is in the past. Maybe waited longer than she should have to throw out that information, but if everything has been good between you, let it go.
If she doesn't trust you enough to tell you everything about herself on the first date, then she's always hiding something. Personally, I make any potential friend fill out an elaborate and detailed application to associate with me. If a woman won't admit to farting in public areas before the initial conversation, it's sayonara Sally.
She felt comfortable enough to eventually tell you. Wife has a friend that is going on her second marriage (~28 yrs old) and never told her previous husband, nor her soon to be, that she was engaged in college. You are in a much better situation than her guys.
At least it wasn't something like herpes she waited a year to tell you....
I think about a year seems right for something like this. I would take it as a good sign she opened up and told you.
Also I think more people in our lives than we realize, have previous addictions and problems, but from my experience most come thru clean, and are great people.
I think about a year seems right for something like this. I would take it as a good sign she opened up and told you.
Also I think more people in our lives than we realize, have previous addictions and problems, but from my experience most come thru clean, and are great people.
I used to kill homeless people and strippers all the time, but I don't tell someone that right when we start dating. Unless it's a stripper. They still won't care anyway, as long as you're paying.
There are worse things than a drug problem that you've been over for four years. Now she has her Masters degree too. She did the right thing and turned her life around. You'll be fine.
Sounds like you have your answer. I have some things I don't tell people I am dating until it is to a certain point in the relationship. I bet she feels like she wants to take a step further with you and that's why she told you.
Also, you can't take any advice on the internet though. According to Cyphillis and CycloneErik. So ignore everything in here
Also, you can't take any advice on the internet though. According to Cyphillis and CycloneErik. So ignore everything in here
See! Miss Judgypants here shows why you don't just offer the information up right away!
How recently did she tell you this? If she's a great gal, and everything is pushing you toward her, I'm guessing you'll bet used to this fact eventually. I'm betting you just need some time to wrap your mind around it.
Wow, CF is really lame during the summer. Don't you think this question is better suited for your close friends and family?
Her problems are in the past. She has moved on and has her Masters in Nursing. You said she is great. IMO, the fact that she told you of her past means that she wants to make the next step. Now it is your turn. Do you love her? If you do, then don't worry about her past, since it was a long time ago and she has proven herself.
At what point do we allow people the opportunity to turn their lives around. Or does past mistakes mark them forever.
Are you planning on telling her that you went to a message board to get advice on whether you should continue your relationship with her? If not, then you are not being totally honest with her. Sounds to me like you are lucky to have her.
At what point do we allow people the opportunity to turn their lives around. Or does past mistakes mark them forever.
Are you planning on telling her that you went to a message board to get advice on whether you should continue your relationship with her? If not, then you are not being totally honest with her. Sounds to me like you are lucky to have her.
