Need a second opinion

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by 19clone91, Dec 15, 2013.

  1. 19clone91

    19clone91 Well-Known Member

    Nov 21, 2013
    Denver, CO
    So I guess I am really stressed out trying to figure this out and would really like to hear all of your opinions,

    I plan on proposing to my girlfriend of 7 years soon but the question is where to do it.

    I am studying abroad in Australia from January to May and she is coming over to visit me for a week during my trip.
    I had originally planned on taking the ring over to Australia and waiting till she came over to ask her, but the more I think about it the more I want to ask her here before I leave when we are both with all of our families around Christmas.

    Here is how I see it,

    -way more romantic
    -Very unique
    -She may expect it since we have been talking about marriage for awhile
    -She wouldn't see her family for a week or so afterwords and I wouldn't see anyone from either family for 2+ months
    -I don't know where we will be and when while over there and it will be impossible to plan (probably spur of the moment thing before she flys home)
    -Have to keep track (while hiding) of a very expensive ring for 2+ months before she comes over.

    Des Moines
    -I can plan out every detail
    - She can show the ring to all the families during Christmas
    - and We'd be together for three or so weeks before I fly over (rather than a few days if it was in Australia)

    Like I said, I go back and forth between the two. It would be great to get an outsiders view! Thanks!
  2. Rabbuk

    Rabbuk Well-Known Member

    Mar 1, 2011
    If you do it in Australia I'd wait till the last day on the off chance she says no.
  3. Acylum

    Acylum Well-Known Member

    Nov 18, 2006
    Fed Govt
    Parts Unknown
    No-brainer, before you leave.
  4. 00clone

    00clone Well-Known Member

    Apr 12, 2011
    "Before" picture model
    Iowa City area
    #4 00clone, Dec 15, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2013
    I'd go Des Moines....but then again, I proposed to my wife on bended knee in front of her couch watching wheel of fortune....

    which is a point worth making...under Des Moines you mention you can plan out every detail....I'd caution you that you can't plan out your girlfriend's actions. I had a romantic evening planned concluded by a trip to her parents to celebrate (they knew I was proposing), but her eating too much at the restaurant blew it up since she no longer wanted to go for a walk in the park, she just wanted to sit on the couch. I tried saving it, but she just sat on the couch until she wanted to go to her parents, and then I just had to do it there since her parents would be expecting a newly engaged couple coming over.

    So, while these elaborate 'perfect' proposals are cool if they work out...if it doesn' end up proposing in front of Pat Sajak and Vanna White.

    <edit: and the other point is...if you've been dating for 7 years, unless she's a drama queen, she won't care how you propose, just that you did. We were almost at 9 years (we dated all thru college, then some life events delayed it for a few years) and she didn't care at all at how it went down>
  5. azepp

    azepp Well-Known Member

    Dec 9, 2009
    Agree. That way if she says no you'll be able to indulge in the Australian ladies.

    Seriously though, if you've been together 7 years get it done already.
  6. Senolcyc

    Senolcyc Well-Known Member

    Apr 20, 2010

    Why rush into anything? Seven more years of free milk is the correct answer.
  7. brianhos

    brianhos Moderator
    Staff Member Bookie

    Jun 1, 2006
    Computer geek
    Do it at Xmas. She is already waiting for it now since you have been together for 7 years.
  8. vmbplayer

    vmbplayer Well-Known Member

    Feb 6, 2008
    I'd go with Des Moines. Haven't gone through the process myself, but from my perspective you have the psychological good feelings bump every time your at the location of your proposal down the road if you're ever in the dog house. Say you get engaged after eating at restaurant X. On your five year anniversary you can take her back there to start the evening and she'll be thinking about that night instead of all the crap you've pulled over the last 5 years. Do it in Aussie land and it's hard to just to go down under to celebrate the occasion at the drop of the hat.

    Plus the advantages of her being near friends in family you pointed out. Every woman I've ever seen get engaged is just about as happy saying yes as she is telling all her friends and family about how it happened and showing them the ring. She'll still do it after getting home from Aussie land but the excitement may be somewhat diminished if it's 5 days later after a long plane ride home.
  9. DurangoCy

    DurangoCy Well-Known Member

    Jul 5, 2010
    Durango, CO

    Australian ladies mmmmmmmm, also has she bough her plane tix yet? Might save a couple grand when it's a no.
  10. mtowncyclone13

    mtowncyclone13 Well-Known Member

    Oct 10, 2012
    grundy center
    Like others have said, do it where you have the most control over your environment - do it in Iowa.

    I planned a romantic trip to the north shore of MN to propose on a cliff overlooking a beautiful lighthouse that we both love

    After petty things made it fall through I decided closer to home is better. we went to the campanile and i proposed xmas eve. little advice - proposing xmas eve makes all her friends' xmases look stupid. and with woman that is the ultimate goal!
  11. carvers4math

    carvers4math Well-Known Member

    Mar 15, 2012
    I am female and I would prefer Iowa, can share it easier with loved ones. I know some think the foreign proposal more romantic, but this is about becoming a new family.
  12. SaraV

    SaraV Well-Known Member

    Mar 13, 2012
    Female advice - Yes, in Des Moines. I'm not sure about Christmas Eve/Day. Those days can get hectic with travelling and family and trying to plan a "good time" to do it could get tricky. You can certainly plan it around wintery Christmas type things, but I would shy away from the 24th/25th.

    Australia - Yes, much better engagement story. But I think being able to share the news with friends & family together trumps that. (not to mention the "safety" of the ring)
  13. Wesley

    Wesley Well-Known Member

    Apr 12, 2006
    Envr Engr/Program Manager
    Do it in Iowa.

    No brainer.

    She can tell the family together.
    You then can get married in Australia as an elopement.:spinny::v_SPIN:
  14. wxman1

    wxman1 Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2008
    Cedar Rapids

    I tried to do the whole under the campanile thing but some rain and people taking pictures sent that down hill quick. We ended up walking all over central campus reading every stone for a dedicated tree....she knew it was coming by that point (Claims she knew before but I call bs on that).
  15. Topshelf

    Topshelf Member

    Jan 31, 2007
    Financial Planner
    Ames, IA
    I proposed to my wife when she came to visit me while I was in china. She knew I was going to do it while she was there. So I made up an elaborate date for the end if the week. I kept letting slip how romantic the date was going to be. I was obvious about it so she was expecting it during the elaborate date at the end of the week. The plan worked perfect as I really had it planned for midweek. This way she was still surprised and we have a cool story. We were engaged on the Great Wall if china.

    I agree it's tough to keep the ring safe but that was another thing I used to my advantage as I mentioned we would have to ring shop back in Iowa so she thought I may not even propose while she was there. It was the double trick.
  16. Farnsworth

    Farnsworth Well-Known Member

    Apr 11, 2006
    Des Moines, IA
    Do it in Australia, make it a memorable experience. are you going to Newcastle? If so, pm and I can give some tips.

    also, i like how you used MS Word before posting this, must have been thinking about it for awhile.
  17. jdoggivjc

    jdoggivjc Well-Known Member

    Sep 27, 2006
    Publications Manager
    Macomb, MI
  18. mtowncyclone13

    mtowncyclone13 Well-Known Member

    Oct 10, 2012
    grundy center
    15 minutes ago my wife went in my wallet, took out $40 and drove off in my car.

    just trash the whole thing and you and i will head over to dangerous curves.
  19. Wesley

    Wesley Well-Known Member

    Apr 12, 2006
    Envr Engr/Program Manager
    That is why gals like Sunday football.
  20. Rods79

    Rods79 Well-Known Member

    Nov 27, 2006
    Des Moines
    Australia. That way traveling with her in the future will bring about good feelings. Plus, that is a special place.

    I would have gone with a relatively inexpensive ring at first, and gone ring shopping. That is how I did it, and it helped me keep it a surprise.

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