Well, I have had a few of these George Brett moments......
Have you ever had a George Brett moment?
- Thread starter CarlHungus
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I haven't yet, but its sure to happen sometime.
A buddy and his wife had some tortilla soup at a friend's. He said he just tore it up. Headed back to their motel room, and it hits him. But the wife wants ice cream at the local store. Thinks he can hold it, he parks and she goes in. Well she is gabbing with the help, and he's like hurry up woman! I've really got to ****! She finally comes out, and he speeds to the motel. Gets inside and the ****-wave hits. He locks up. It passes. He makes another move to the can, BUT, unbeknownst to him he had accidently stepped on the shoelace of his untied shoe, and he stumbled! Game over. He was wearing sweat pants, so it was all down his legs, and even inside his socks. He said he'd never seen his wife laugh that hard.
A buddy and his wife had some tortilla soup at a friend's. He said he just tore it up. Headed back to their motel room, and it hits him. But the wife wants ice cream at the local store. Thinks he can hold it, he parks and she goes in. Well she is gabbing with the help, and he's like hurry up woman! I've really got to ****! She finally comes out, and he speeds to the motel. Gets inside and the ****-wave hits. He locks up. It passes. He makes another move to the can, BUT, unbeknownst to him he had accidently stepped on the shoelace of his untied shoe, and he stumbled! Game over. He was wearing sweat pants, so it was all down his legs, and even inside his socks. He said he'd never seen his wife laugh that hard.
A lot of twists and turns in this story. I was on the edge of my seat.
An adult human poo in a kiddie pool? Probably the best thing any kiddie pool has had floating in it in years!
I always thought those were called "one-sies" but "two-sies" seems more appropriate.
I know! The Royals and Brewers kind of have a relationship as fellow small market teams.
Haha the only reason I knew that is the one time I had seats in the Crown Club at a Royals game he was pitching and dropped an f bomb right in front of me. As a Royals fan the Brewers are my adopted team for the rest of the season since they are the Royals 2.0
I've had it happen a couple time, but, in a very unexciting manner, it was just when I was sick with the flu at home, and coughed too hard.
I did pee my pants badly once in my adult life -- or, it would be more accurate to say peed ON my pants.
At college, stopped in to use the toilet in a building I didn't normally use, and sat down for a #2. As I'm finishing up, I do a #1 as well (because, I mean, if you're on the toilet anyhow, might as well empty your bladder too), seated. Well, this particular toilet had a much larger than usual gap between the lid and the bowl, and apparently I didn't aim "down" enough. At least half my pee went through this gap right onto my pants. Fortunately, most of it was absorbed by the underwear.
Once I realized my error, I threw my briefs in the trash can and went commando to my car, and drove straight home.
I did pee my pants badly once in my adult life -- or, it would be more accurate to say peed ON my pants.
At college, stopped in to use the toilet in a building I didn't normally use, and sat down for a #2. As I'm finishing up, I do a #1 as well (because, I mean, if you're on the toilet anyhow, might as well empty your bladder too), seated. Well, this particular toilet had a much larger than usual gap between the lid and the bowl, and apparently I didn't aim "down" enough. At least half my pee went through this gap right onto my pants. Fortunately, most of it was absorbed by the underwear.
Once I realized my error, I threw my briefs in the trash can and went commando to my car, and drove straight home.
This is a true story that made my wife laugh so hard she farted.
I had to get some routine lab work done today (early July) - fast, blood work, pee in a cup, go to work - no big deal. Blood gets drawn, easy peasy. The lab tech gives me the cup and points me to the bathroom. I lock the door and give a quick scan over the instructions. No big deal, I've done this a bunch of times before. I mean it's pretty easy for a dude, just aim and let 'er rip. Well, I knew the pee test was coming so I didn't do it when I first woke up. At this point I'd been holding it for almost 90 minutes so I was really motivated to get things going. In my haste, I got things backwards. I had the cup in my right hand and my, uh, me, in my left hand. Now as a right handed person that's not how I normally do things. But having to pee so bad I figured "what could go wrong?" Well...
So you're supposed to pee a little, then stop, then fill the cup about halfway, then stop, then finish in the toilet. Having to pee so bad, the initial "stop" was tough but I managed. I tried to get the cup in position ASAP and holy hell I started streaming like Netflix. You know how sometimes you turn the water on too hard in the bathroom sink, and the water shoots up the side and all over the counter? Yeah. Pee everywhere except the cup. So I tried to stop again. I clenched down as hard as I could to stop. I managed to dam the river until I could fix the cup situation. Except... I dropped. The. Cup. Right in the toilet.
So now, bladder throbbing, I bend over to grab the cup, shuffle over to the sink to rinse and dry the cup, and shuffle back over by the toilet. At this point I finally got my **** together enough to put the equipment in the proper hands. I finished collecting the sample, used a bunch of TP to clean the mess I'd made of the toilet and floor, washed my hands, collected myself. Somehow I'd managed to avoid my khakis in the whole ordeal.
I made it through the rest of the day without incident.
I had to get some routine lab work done today (early July) - fast, blood work, pee in a cup, go to work - no big deal. Blood gets drawn, easy peasy. The lab tech gives me the cup and points me to the bathroom. I lock the door and give a quick scan over the instructions. No big deal, I've done this a bunch of times before. I mean it's pretty easy for a dude, just aim and let 'er rip. Well, I knew the pee test was coming so I didn't do it when I first woke up. At this point I'd been holding it for almost 90 minutes so I was really motivated to get things going. In my haste, I got things backwards. I had the cup in my right hand and my, uh, me, in my left hand. Now as a right handed person that's not how I normally do things. But having to pee so bad I figured "what could go wrong?" Well...
So you're supposed to pee a little, then stop, then fill the cup about halfway, then stop, then finish in the toilet. Having to pee so bad, the initial "stop" was tough but I managed. I tried to get the cup in position ASAP and holy hell I started streaming like Netflix. You know how sometimes you turn the water on too hard in the bathroom sink, and the water shoots up the side and all over the counter? Yeah. Pee everywhere except the cup. So I tried to stop again. I clenched down as hard as I could to stop. I managed to dam the river until I could fix the cup situation. Except... I dropped. The. Cup. Right in the toilet.
So now, bladder throbbing, I bend over to grab the cup, shuffle over to the sink to rinse and dry the cup, and shuffle back over by the toilet. At this point I finally got my **** together enough to put the equipment in the proper hands. I finished collecting the sample, used a bunch of TP to clean the mess I'd made of the toilet and floor, washed my hands, collected myself. Somehow I'd managed to avoid my khakis in the whole ordeal.
I made it through the rest of the day without incident.
If you haven't sharted so badly that you need to throw your underbritches in the trash (hidden under mounds of paper towels), then you haven't lived.
A buddy of mine tells me he has a friend that cannot feel bowel movements, and always has to keep a blowout kit in his truck.
A buddy of mine tells me he has a friend that cannot feel bowel movements, and always has to keep a blowout kit in his truck.
Well, I have had a few of these George Brett moments......
How I've felt during a few ISU games.
