Have you ever had a George Brett moment?
- Thread starter CarlHungus
- Start date
If there were a place that I could openly express the fact that I shat my pants, it would be here haha. I got nothing to hide. But if you'd like I could make up a story for ya!
During my softball days, we were in a tournament and one of the guys was really late getting to the field for a 9am game. Didn't even have enough time to warm up his arm.
After the game, he told us why he was so late - on the way, he was really hungover and lifted one leg to fart and **** himself really badly. So he stopped the car, got out and went down in the ditch, finished his **** and took his pants and underwear and wiped it all off the best he could. He found two warm beers in the back seat and gave himself an impromptu butt-washing, then put on his uniform. (Luckily he didn't have time to get dressed before he left the motel.)
After he gets done, and we all stop laughing, I'm thinking, "Why in the hell would you tell that story to anyone? I'd make up something way better than that."
After the game, he told us why he was so late - on the way, he was really hungover and lifted one leg to fart and **** himself really badly. So he stopped the car, got out and went down in the ditch, finished his **** and took his pants and underwear and wiped it all off the best he could. He found two warm beers in the back seat and gave himself an impromptu butt-washing, then put on his uniform. (Luckily he didn't have time to get dressed before he left the motel.)
After he gets done, and we all stop laughing, I'm thinking, "Why in the hell would you tell that story to anyone? I'd make up something way better than that."
I peed myself once on a party bus. Had to go so bad that my legs started to quiver. So when a drunk guy in front of me kinda fell on me after he stood up, I'm like here's my chance so acted like I spilled my solo cup full of rum punch as I peed myself. Thankfully it was the ride back home and not to another bar. Just blamed it on the drunk guy! No one ever knew what actually happened.
I've peed myself once. Waiting for a business meeting in Portland and walking the riverfront. Felt the urge so went straight for a park toilet which was out of commission due to meth, prostitution, amateur colonoscopy or needle exchange activities. Had no back-up plan but sheer will. Made it to the conference center with no back-up plan. The hold muscles gave out about 4 seconds early and I had a small mess to address. Several handfuls of paper towels and a lifetime of shame later, no worse for the wear except I knew I had just pissed myself.
I like these threads that let everyone know we're ALL disgusting little beasts at out core and most of out horrible secrets are common.
Everyone should do this at least once in their life. The rush of confusion when you wake up is unparalleled.
A neighbor lady came home late from the bar one night and went to the bathroom. Her husband wondered what was taking her so long and why he heard talking in the bathroom that didn't sound like her so he went in to check on her. She had passed out facetiming a friend while sitting on the toilet.
My FIL used to be a state champion distance runner. Once he was out running early near the Bever Park area of CR (before it became a ghetto) and completely **** himself. Like total release. He sprinted over and bathed himself and washed his clothes out in the cement kiddy pool. Luckily it was early enough no one was around. Hope the kids enjoyed their swim that day.
When my wife and I were first dating I wasn’t feeling well but she called and wanted me to come to her parents house. Like no more and 15 minutes after I get there I sharted something fierce. Went into the bathroom and threw my undies into the bushes outside. Retrieving them without anybody knowing was some real mission impossible stuff.
My girlfriend is a distance runner. Seen some pretty nasty things at the end of those races. It's an experience to see someone with no control over their emotions or their bowels, sitting on the ground.....I'll let you paint the rest of the picture in your head.
I was at an off-season wrestling tournament with some friends in high school. My buddy was wrestling, at the end of the second period he gets taken down where the other guys elbow lands pretty hard on his stomach. He stands up tells the red he forfeits the match. We are all thinking wtf? He comes sprinting towards us on the side of the mat, the conversation went as follows.
Us: “what the hell happened out there? You were winning?”
Friend: “I” followed by incoherent mumbling
Us: “what?”
Friend: “I **** my singlet!”
Us: “uhhh”
Multiple bystanders with looks of sheer horror on their faces: “did he just say he **** his singlet?”
Followed by everyone in the vicinity laughing like hyenas. My friend ran to the locker room, changed and his dad took him home. One of the funnier things I’ve seen and it still gets brought up when we get together.
Us: “what the hell happened out there? You were winning?”
Friend: “I” followed by incoherent mumbling
Us: “what?”
Friend: “I **** my singlet!”
Us: “uhhh”
Multiple bystanders with looks of sheer horror on their faces: “did he just say he **** his singlet?”
Followed by everyone in the vicinity laughing like hyenas. My friend ran to the locker room, changed and his dad took him home. One of the funnier things I’ve seen and it still gets brought up when we get together.
