Friday OT - The worst Hawk fan you ever knew/met

CloneLawman

Well-Known Member
SuperFanatic
SuperFanatic T2
Apr 13, 2006
16,977
21,758
113
Wherever I go, there I am.
I had something similar where the I don't think the guy was necessarily the worst, but one time a Hawk fan gave me a speech about why Iowa State shouldn't even exist as a University and that it's ridiculous for the state to have to support two Division 1 schools. He felt both schools should be consolidated into one and somehow it was the existence of ISU that was holding Iowa back from being more of a national power in athletics. Now that I think about it, maybe that guy was the worst.

Was his last name Pomerantz?
 

weR138

Well-Known Member
Feb 20, 2008
12,187
5,138
113
Worst so far was the bum in his UI sweatshirt I ran into at Kum-N-Go this morning. Dude was rummaging around for cans and obstructing the doorway. And he stunk like a barrel of rotting fruit under the hot tropical sun.
 

Mr Janny

Welcome to the Office of Secret Intelligence
Staff member
Bookie
SuperFanatic
Mar 27, 2006
42,675
33,588
113
not sure if this is the worst, but certainly annoying.

used to work with a guy who claimed to be a huge hawkeye fan. Wore all the gear, always announced how the Hoks were gonna trounce whatever team it was they played that week, was brutal when the clones lost, you know a typical hawk fan. Mainly tried to ignore him because frankly he was pretty douchy on all topics, not just hawk related.

Anyway, it was the 2007 season, and we'd just beaten Iowa in the 15-13 game a couple weeks before. I had to go on a work trip, and the Hok fan was assigned to tag along, so I could show him the ropes. I was trying to be nice because we had to spend like 3 days together. We were eating dinner, and I decided to try to talk sports.
"Sucks about Andy Brodell, huh?" I said. This was 2 days after he suffered a season ending injury against Wisconsin.
"Who?"
"Andy Brodell. One of the Hawk's receivers."
"Does he start?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, he did."
"I don't know. All I know is Jake Christensen needs to go."

And to his credit, that was literally all he knew. Over the course of the next couple days, it became clear that I knew far more about his favorite team than he did.(and frankly I didn't think I knew all that much)
It just blew my mind how this self described "DieHard Hawk Fan" could be so clueless and yet so brazen about it.
 
Last edited:

cyhiphopp

Moderator
Staff member
Jan 9, 2009
33,266
14,537
113
Ankeny
not sure if this is the worst, but certainly annoying.

used to work with a guy who claimed to be a huge hawkeye fan. Wore all the gear, always announced how the Hoks were gonna trounce whatever team it was they played that week, was brutal when the clones lost, you know a typical hawk fan. Mainly tried to ignore him because frankly he was pretty douchy on all topics, not just hawk related.

Anyway, it was the 2007 season, and we'd just beaten Iowa in the 15-13 game a couple weeks before. I had to go on a work trip, and the Hok fan was assigned to tag along, so I could show him the ropes. I was trying to be nice because we had to spend like 3 days together. We were eating dinner, and I decided to try to talk sports.
"Sucks about Andy Brodell, huh?" I said. This was 2 days after he suffered a season ending injury against Wisconsin.
"Who?"
"Andy Brodell. One of the Hawk's receivers."
"Does he start?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, he did."
"I don't know. All I know is Jake Christensen needs to go."

And to his credit, that was literally all he knew. Over the course of the next couple days, it became clear that I knew far more about his favorite team than he did.(and frankly I didn't think I knew all that much)
It just blew my mind how this self described "DieHard Hawk Fan" could be so clueless and yet so brazen about it.

Do you work at the same place I do?

I can only think of one Hawk fan that I work with who could actually have an informed discussion about football in general and the Hawk team in specific and that my boss. The guy from Iowa City who went to ISU and roots for the Hawks.

Every other Hawk fan in my office would be challenged to name the starting QB most years. They do know that Furrentz is the coach though.
 

MNCyGuy

Well-Known Member
Jan 14, 2009
11,644
551
83
Des Moines
Do you work at the same place I do?

I can only think of one Hawk fan that I work with who could actually have an informed discussion about football in general and the Hawk team in specific and that my boss. The guy from Iowa City who went to ISU and roots for the Hawks.

Every other Hawk fan in my office would be challenged to name the starting QB most years. They do know that Furrentz is the coach though.

I must have been damn lucky when I worked in eastern Iowa. The hardcore Hawks in that office actually knew their team pretty well (and had a decent passing knowledge of what ISU was up to). I work in an office that's basically all Cyclones now, but I actually miss the college football discussion from my old job.
 

CyKosys

Member
Nov 24, 2006
288
23
18
I know you've got stories. Let's hear them.

Remember Hunter R. Rawlings III? The most arrogant, egotistical, narcissistic, self-centered a-hole, I've ever met. He set the standard for what a Hawkeye is and there was little competence to back it up.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Like
Reactions: Angie

cyhiphopp

Moderator
Staff member
Jan 9, 2009
33,266
14,537
113
Ankeny
I must have been damn lucky when I worked in eastern Iowa. The hardcore Hawks in that office actually knew their team pretty well (and had a decent passing knowledge of what ISU was up to). I work in an office that's basically all Cyclones now, but I actually miss the college football discussion from my old job.


Most of the hawk fans here are female, and not attractive ones either, so that's one factor. The only people I talk to about football, other than my boss, are Cyclone fans.
 

DarkStar

Well-Known Member
Sep 15, 2009
9,766
12,057
113
Ames
Worst as in dumbest....
Few years back at work we did a wear your teams colors to work day. One of the Hawk fans showed up wearing a T-Shirt with this on it.
USM%20Logo.jpg
 

kentkel

Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2006
5,401
5,607
113
57
Any and all of them that repeatedly use the "It's their superbowl" excuse!
 

kentkel

Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2006
5,401
5,607
113
57
not sure if this is the worst, but certainly annoying.

used to work with a guy who claimed to be a huge hawkeye fan. Wore all the gear, always announced how the Hoks were gonna trounce whatever team it was they played that week, was brutal when the clones lost, you know a typical hawk fan. Mainly tried to ignore him because frankly he was pretty douchy on all topics, not just hawk related.

Anyway, it was the 2007 season, and we'd just beaten Iowa in the 15-13 game a couple weeks before. I had to go on a work trip, and the Hok fan was assigned to tag along, so I could show him the ropes. I was trying to be nice because we had to spend like 3 days together. We were eating dinner, and I decided to try to talk sports.
"Sucks about Andy Brodell, huh?" I said. This was 2 days after he suffered a season ending injury against Wisconsin.
"Who?"
"Andy Brodell. One of the Hawk's receivers."
"Does he start?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, he did."
"I don't know. All I know is Jake Christensen needs to go."

And to his credit, that was literally all he knew. Over the course of the next couple days, it became clear that I knew far more about his favorite team than he did.(and frankly I didn't think I knew all that much)
It just blew my mind how this self described "DieHard Hawk Fan" could be so clueless and yet so brazen about it.

Do you work at the same place I do?

I can only think of one Hawk fan that I work with who could actually have an informed discussion about football in general and the Hawk team in specific and that my boss. The guy from Iowa City who went to ISU and roots for the Hawks.

Every other Hawk fan in my office would be challenged to name the starting QB most years. They do know that Furrentz is the coach though.

I have had similar things happen over and over again. That is the annoying thing about most of those Tavernhoks - they know little to nothing about their own players. Trying to engage them about any meaningful analysis results in blank stares or "clones suck"/"go hoks" statements.
 

oldman

Well-Known Member
Nov 5, 2009
8,771
4,251
113
This isn't horrible but shows how ******y they can be. The game at JTS two years ago, at the company tailgate, there is this big steroid-filled blowhard, bragging how ISU was in for a butt-kicking blah, blah, blah. After the game we all went back to the tailgate tent. He sat on the cooler and wouldn't let any cyclone fans get a beer (and they weren't even his). Finally his GF says "get your azz off and quit pouting."
 

Al_4_State

Moderator
Staff member
SuperFanatic
SuperFanatic T2
Mar 27, 2006
32,333
28,566
113
39
Driftless Region
Visit site
not sure if this is the worst, but certainly annoying.

used to work with a guy who claimed to be a huge hawkeye fan. Wore all the gear, always announced how the Hoks were gonna trounce whatever team it was they played that week, was brutal when the clones lost, you know a typical hawk fan. Mainly tried to ignore him because frankly he was pretty douchy on all topics, not just hawk related.

Anyway, it was the 2007 season, and we'd just beaten Iowa in the 15-13 game a couple weeks before. I had to go on a work trip, and the Hok fan was assigned to tag along, so I could show him the ropes. I was trying to be nice because we had to spend like 3 days together. We were eating dinner, and I decided to try to talk sports.
"Sucks about Andy Brodell, huh?" I said. This was 2 days after he suffered a season ending injury against Wisconsin.
"Who?"
"Andy Brodell. One of the Hawk's receivers."
"Does he start?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, he did."
"I don't know. All I know is Jake Christensen needs to go."

And to his credit, that was literally all he knew. Over the course of the next couple days, it became clear that I knew far more about his favorite team than he did.(and frankly I didn't think I knew all that much)
It just blew my mind how this self described "DieHard Hawk Fan" could be so clueless and yet so brazen about it.

Yeah, I've had that happen A LOT.

A few weeks after the 2007 game, I was sitting in a bar in Northeast Iowa where my girlfriend at the time (now wife) was working, and some chick in Hawk gear came in stumbling drunk about 9:00PM.

Drunk Hawk *****: "TAKE YER SHIRT OFF".
Me: "Ma'am, I'm not a stripper".
Drunk Hawk *****: "NO. BECAUSE ITS IOWA STATE. YOU SUCK".
Me: "We just beat you"
Drunk Hawk *****: "BUT YOU DIDN'T SCORE A TOUCHDOWN. DOESN'T COUNT".
Me: "But we scored more points. That's what a team needs to do to win a football game"
Drunk Hawk *****: "DOESN'T COUNT"

She sits down at the bar, and continues to occasionally lob jobs before she passed out and got kicked out about an hour later.

Dumb *****.
 

Angie

Tugboats and arson.
Staff member
SuperFanatic
SuperFanatic T2
Mar 27, 2006
28,577
13,563
113
IA
Yeah, I've had that happen A LOT.

A few weeks after the 2007 game, I was sitting in a bar in Northeast Iowa where my girlfriend at the time (now wife) was working, and some chick in Hawk gear came in stumbling drunk about 9:00PM.

Drunk Hawk *****: "TAKE YER SHIRT OFF".
Me: "Ma'am, I'm not a stripper".
Drunk Hawk *****: "NO. BECAUSE ITS IOWA STATE. YOU SUCK".
Me: "We just beat you"
Drunk Hawk *****: "BUT YOU DIDN'T SCORE A TOUCHDOWN. DOESN'T COUNT".
Me: "But we scored more points. That's what a team needs to do to win a football game"
Drunk Hawk *****: "DOESN'T COUNT"

She sits down at the bar, and continues to occasionally lob jobs before she passed out and got kicked out about an hour later.

Dumb *****.

I know over by Cedar Rapids is Hawk territory - is NE Iowa, as well?
 

clone99

Member
Sep 14, 2007
272
4
18
Iowa
Guy sitting behind me at last years game (maybe not the worst but the freshest in my mind, worst cuts a wide path with iowa fans). he has his 6 or 7 year old son with him, sitting bascially in the ISU section in Kinnick, so he is actually in the minority, which apparently means you have to be extra annoying. HE was being loud, and in general a total ******* with lots of profanity, i actually felt sorry for his son who will eventually grow up to be just like his dad someday.
The good part was when UI throws the pick down with 5 min left in the game, he says "F*** it, its over"! took his son and left, which i'm think that we haven't moved the ball since the 2nd quarter, and we are going to basically run the ball 3 times and punt, which is exactly what happened. As iowa was driving down the field, my one positive thought was at least that SOB will still be walking back to his car when he finds out iowa won. Luckly Jake Knott prevented me from having to take comfort in that, and that the guy was right and it was over.
 

harty83

Member
Nov 15, 2006
323
23
18
48
Sioux Falls SD
I went to grad school at USD. I was at a bar one night, and I started talking to an undergrad kid that was a friend of some of my friends. Seemed like a nice enough guy. I asked him where he was from and he said something like "Some little town in Iowa, you've probably never heard of it." That should probably have been a clue, but I said something like, "Oh, I dunno...I know a lot of small Iowa towns. I went to Iowa State and have friends from all over." It was like I flipped on the ****** bag switch. I don't think he ever told me where he was from. Instead he launched into how much the Cyclones suck, blah, blah blah. Being used to that sort of thing, I laughed it off, and said I didn't go there for the football program. Pretty soon I can't get a word in edgewise, because he is ranting on and on about "Lames," and how ISU is a terrible school, I can't believe anyone would want to go there, etc. So I say something like "OK, well nice meeting you," and start to walk away. So he starts following me still ranting about how much Iowa City is a nicer place to live, Iowa is a better school blah blah blah. But then he gives me the opening: "Why didn't you go to Iowa?" or something like that (expletives mixed in, I am sure.) To which I replied "Why didn't you go to Iowa?" He left me alone after that.
 

MNCyGuy

Well-Known Member
Jan 14, 2009
11,644
551
83
Des Moines
I went to grad school at USD. I was at a bar one night, and I started talking to an undergrad kid that was a friend of some of my friends. Seemed like a nice enough guy. I asked him where he was from and he said something like "Some little town in Iowa, you've probably never heard of it." That should probably have been a clue, but I said something like, "Oh, I dunno...I know a lot of small Iowa towns. I went to Iowa State and have friends from all over." It was like I flipped on the ****** bag switch. I don't think he ever told me where he was from. Instead he launched into how much the Cyclones suck, blah, blah blah. Being used to that sort of thing, I laughed it off, and said I didn't go there for the football program. Pretty soon I can't get a word in edgewise, because he is ranting on and on about "Lames," and how ISU is a terrible school, I can't believe anyone would want to go there, etc. So I say something like "OK, well nice meeting you," and start to walk away. So he starts following me still ranting about how much Iowa City is a nicer place to live, Iowa is a better school blah blah blah. But then he gives me the opening: "Why didn't you go to Iowa?" or something like that (expletives mixed in, I am sure.) To which I replied "Why didn't you go to Iowa?" He left me alone after that.

Still wrapping my head around someone attending University of South Dakota (no offense to your grad degree) giving someone **** about attending Iowa State.
 

LindenCy

Kevin Dresser Fan Club
Staff member
Mar 19, 2006
32,351
4,067
113
Chicago, IL
I went to grad school at USD. I was at a bar one night, and I started talking to an undergrad kid that was a friend of some of my friends. Seemed like a nice enough guy. I asked him where he was from and he said something like "Some little town in Iowa, you've probably never heard of it." That should probably have been a clue, but I said something like, "Oh, I dunno...I know a lot of small Iowa towns. I went to Iowa State and have friends from all over." It was like I flipped on the ****** bag switch. I don't think he ever told me where he was from. Instead he launched into how much the Cyclones suck, blah, blah blah. Being used to that sort of thing, I laughed it off, and said I didn't go there for the football program. Pretty soon I can't get a word in edgewise, because he is ranting on and on about "Lames," and how ISU is a terrible school, I can't believe anyone would want to go there, etc. So I say something like "OK, well nice meeting you," and start to walk away. So he starts following me still ranting about how much Iowa City is a nicer place to live, Iowa is a better school blah blah blah. But then he gives me the opening: "Why didn't you go to Iowa?" or something like that (expletives mixed in, I am sure.) To which I replied "Why didn't you go to Iowa?" He left me alone after that.

For some horrible reason, there are a lot of Hawkeyes in SE South Dakota.
 

ISpyCy

Well-Known Member
Sep 17, 2011
4,293
2,153
113
41
Harlan, IA/Lincoln, NE
Yeah, I've had that happen A LOT.

A few weeks after the 2007 game, I was sitting in a bar in Northeast Iowa where my girlfriend at the time (now wife) was working, and some chick in Hawk gear came in stumbling drunk about 9:00PM.

Drunk Hawk *****: "TAKE YER SHIRT OFF".
Me: "Ma'am, I'm not a stripper".
Drunk Hawk *****: "NO. BECAUSE ITS IOWA STATE. YOU SUCK".
Me: "We just beat you"
Drunk Hawk *****: "BUT YOU DIDN'T SCORE A TOUCHDOWN. DOESN'T COUNT".
Me: "But we scored more points. That's what a team needs to do to win a football game"
Drunk Hawk *****: "DOESN'T COUNT"

She sits down at the bar, and continues to occasionally lob jobs before she passed out and got kicked out about an hour later.

Dumb *****.
I see @Vodka_Samm got started at an early age...
 

Help Support Us

Become a patron