Drunkest You've Ever Been Story Thread

[isulive2train]

21st Birthday, Campustown. 23 shots later (4 were Irish Car Bombs), walked home to Frederiksen Court. Passed out, woke up at 2pm next day with face on keyboard and facebook chat open to some random chick. Bunch of jibberish sent to her.

One of my roommates was drunk enough one night to eat/chew on our tv remote. Also chucked his keys down Campus Ave. at night and then went searching for them - dumb. Another decided one night to **** in the kitchen trash can but didn't finish ******* until he walked back to his room.

 

[WhatchaGonnaDo]

I wouldn't say it's the drunkest I've ever been, but it's probably one of the better drunk stories I have encountered to date. Friday before the Iowa game this year, went to a party where I had more than a few too many, to say the least. On the walk back to my place, I reportedly called a friend who only picked up on me and my friend saying "**** the hawks" to every person we passed along the way.
Best part though, when I did get back to my apartment, I decided to pass out on our couch in the living room rather than in my bed. So naturally, I emptied my pockets (to sleep more comfortably, clearly). Thing is, shortly after, I decided to go for a quick stroll outside, sans keys. So turned out spending my night sleeping in the hallway after desperately pounding on the door for awhile. Eventually got into the apartment when my roommates woke up, and somehow got myself into shape for the game, to witness the greatest sporting event I had ever attended (eventually got trumped by the OKST game though :smile despite thinking I was going to pass out due to dehydration...

 

[Al_4_State]

About two years ago I met up in Chicago for a bachelor party for a friend. The group of us hadn't seen each other in one place for quite some time, so we went all out. It was particularly bad as we drank like we were still in college but were a solid 5 years removed from it. The 4 of us were sprinting from bar to bar (must have been hilarious as 3 of the 4 of us have put on some weight). There were a couple of mid street tackles, I think I fell into a fenced off tree enclosure on the sidewalk and got stuck like a turtle. We all had some skinned knees as well. We also managed to get kicked out of 2 bars back to back (one of us fell off our chair in the first, the other tried to "help" by taking the mop from the waitress to mop the floor at the 2nd place, while the other idiot was smacking a huge plate glass window with his hand...) We then proceeded to get screamed at by a father of a 1 month baby in the middle of the street because we woke up his kid (******** on that, he was just mad at his poor decision to live (and raise a 1 month old) next to a bar, we weren't actually loud, but got it cuz we looked the drunkest). One of us then got lost (the same guy who always turns up missing) and our host (the groom) had to go find him walking some sketchy part of town. 2 of us puked, and then had to get up early to go kayaking in the chicago river. Being a large dude, and slight drunk still, I managed to fall into the backwaters of the chicago river (green/purple film on top of the water) while getting into the damn kayak.. Spent the trip sitting in a puddle of water (couldn't tell if I was ******** myself or just farting every time I farted) freaking out as I staired at 10-15 foot metal/ concrete walls and no bank/beach while being assaulted by chicago architecture tour river boats that poured water into the tops of our kayaks (i was already sitting lower than I should have been). We lost one dude but luckily were close to the only floating dock we saw the whole trip and managed to get him back into his kayak... After that we all sobered up a bit and had a hard time drinking much more as we all felt like crap. I left the next day and the chicago river water must have got me at O-Hare as I managed to vomit so hard in the bathroom that I shat myself and had to change my pants in the stall. Somehow I managed to still make my flight without incident and then even took the train and walked a mile home in NYC... My wife was not impressed.

Holy ****. You're lucky to be alive!

 

[Rabbuk]

I wouldn't say it's the drunkest I've ever been, but it's probably one of the better drunk stories I have encountered to date. Friday before the Iowa game this year, went to a party where I had more than a few too many, to say the least. On the walk back to my place, I reportedly called a friend who only picked up on me and my friend saying "**** the hawks" to every person we passed along the way.
Best part though, when I did get back to my apartment, I decided to pass out on our couch in the living room rather than in my bed. So naturally, I emptied my pockets (to sleep more comfortably, clearly). Thing is, shortly after, I decided to go for a quick stroll outside, sans keys. So turned out spending my night sleeping in the hallway after desperately pounding on the door for awhile. Eventually got into the apartment when my roommates woke up, and somehow got myself into shape for the game, to witness the greatest sporting event I had ever attended (eventually got trumped by the OKST game though :smile despite thinking I was going to pass out due to dehydration...

Ohey sam

 

[isulive2train]

Raise your hand if you've ever mistaken a closet for the bathroom? Woken your lady friend up to he sound of a heavy urination stream against the bedroom wall? **** in a random yard?

 

[GMackey32]

Probably my 21st birthday. I thought it was great idea to drink 2 Orange Jubilee Mad Dog 20/20's and a 6 pack of Blue Moon before even heading to the bar. Once there, I consumed 21 shots and a couple of other drinks. At some point during those shots, I decided that the bar we were at was lame and walked to Mickey's to get another shot (another friend saw me leave and followed). As I'm walking out of Mickey's, I told my friend I needed to go behind Dairy Queen real quick where I puked, but didn't stop walking.

So I had puke down the front of my pants and I continued to go into bars getting free shots. The buddy that followed me then thought it was good idea to get girls to start signing my shirt, where I ended up with a few phone numbers, and a few 6 digit numbers. One girl decided she wanted to sign, in her own words, "directly over [my] ****", which ****** her boyfriend off. He took a swing at me, but my buddy knocked him out in the Kum and Go parking lot in the process. The last thing I remembered was us running away from the Kum and Go.

The next morning I was told we had to walk from Ames Middle School to my place in West Towne because I "started a fight" on the Drunk Bus. This fight was started by me, wasted off my ***, telling these "bros" that the Middle School was Sterling Apts, where they got off, realized they were in the middle of nowhere (this was in '07, so wasn't much out there quite yet), and got back on the bus, and tried to start a fight.


All in all, best night ever.

 

[bos]

Got drunk at a floor toga party by slamming 6 beers in about 25 minutes and then did some shots down the hall sometime after that. Proceeded to leave the party to crash a frat beach party that they were having in their basement, refrained from drinking anymore there, left, ****** on a different frats front door. Somehow made if back to my buddies dorm room and sat on his bed ill as hell. His girlfriend came in to check on me and I puked in front of her after saying Ill make it. Probably drunkest I have ever been.

 

[isuska]

friday of veishea 09, went to the MWL dorms with an 18 pack to do a little day drinking. spent a couple hours there drinking and playing video games. when we left i had one beer left so my buddy challenged me to chug it on the elevator, 2nd floor to 1st floor. i succeeded but the second we got out to the walkway in the middle, i puked up that last beer in front of some poor girl coming home from class.

we met up with some other friends doing some parking lot drinking and i blacked out. somewhere in there we all decide to go to a buddy's girlfriend's place for dinner. i apparently took a shower while blacked out and managed to put my underwear on backwards.

next day i wake up with a huge wet spot on the floor and some wet undies, still on backwards. managed to pee through my underwear onto my floor.

 

[isukendall]

I've got some good ones, but there's no way in Hades I'd relay them here. Stuff on the interwebz lives forever.

Uhhh..... this. I'd love to tell all of you, but I like my job.

For my worst, let's just say if you're drinking in Chicago, by all means take a cab instead of getting on the train. The cab will take you home. The train will take you to where bad, bad things happen.

 

[CampusAve]

Freshman year during the 2000 ISU-MSU tourney game, my roomate and I mixed a pitcher of gin and lemonade. Got too drunk to riot after the game and awoke in the stairwell in Storms. The girl who woke me up knew my name and was absolutely georgeous. She helped me back to my room and onto my couch, probably saved me a trip to the hospital and and a public intox. I swear that I've never seen here before or after that night. Perhaps she was an angel....

 

[GMackey32]

Another one of my drunkest nights happened in Iowa City for the 2006 Iowa game. We stayed up all Friday night drinking, tailgated all day and during the game, then that night went out to a house party. I woke up in a parking garage around 5 the next morning. Had to call my buddy to come pick me up.

It was my first time partying in Iowa City too, so I really didn't know where I was at or where my buddy's place was located from there.

 

[Knownothing]

I was in the Marines staying at the Sands hotel in Reno. I went to a bar called Brew Brothers with some Marine Buddys. We were in town from Mountain Warfare school in bridgeport. The end of the night came and I stumbled back to my hotel. I could not get the key to open the door. So I crashed in the hallway. A couple hours past and a security guard was yelling at me to get up. ****** off I got up and told him the f'n key would not work. He then informed me that I was on the wrong floor. I felt embarrassed. Then he told me I was also at the wrong hotel. Apparently it was not a couple hours later. It was 10 minutes later and some lady was scared crappless that some guy was banging on the door and almost broke it down. So he ordered me a cab and sent me to the right hotel. The place was so big I just sat down in the lobby and passed out. 10 minutes later a security guard at Sands ushered me to my room. Somehow I woke up with $500 dollars in my pocket as well. I have no remeberance of gambling. Apparently I did and did it very well. I started with 100 bucks.

 

[isulive2train]

I was in the Marines staying at the Sands hotel in Reno. I went to a bar called Brew Brothers with some Marine Buddys. We were in town from Mountain Warfare school in bridgeport. The end of the night came and I stumbled back to my hotel. I could not get the key to open the door. So I crashed in the hallway. A couple hours past and a security guard was yelling at me to get up. ****** off I got up and told him the f'n key would not work. He then informed me that I was on the wrong floor. I felt embarrassed. Then he told me I was also at the wrong hotel. Apparently it was not a couple hours later. It was 10 minutes later and some lady was scared crappless that some guy was banging on the door and almost broke it down. So he ordered me a cab and sent me to the right hotel. The place was so big I just sat down in the lobby and passed out. 10 minutes later a security guard at Sands ushered me to my room. Somehow I woke up with $500 dollars in my pocket as well. I have no remeberance of gambling. Apparently I did and did it very well. I started with 100 bucks.

What if you didn't gamble at all? Were you sore? :shocked:

 

[cyclone101]

This is awesome

 

[Knownothing]

What if you didn't gamble at all? Were you sore? :shocked:

If that was the case I am proud that I was able to pull 500 bucks. I see myself as a hundred dollar guy in the looks department.

 

[CloneFan319]

This is awesome

Got any stories CO?

 

[CyOps]

Most recent story. Drinking at a small town bar, one of my friends who lives 4 blocks from the bar suggests we go get his golf cart and drive around town with a cooler. We were told this may not be a good idea as we had been into the tequila. The next day my girlfriend is asking me how much i remember from the night and filling me in on what happened.
Her: "Do you remember getting the golf cart"
Me: "I don't even remember riding in a golf cart"
Her: "You were driving the golf cart"

Later I told her I wanted to go home because I was "uncomfortably drunk".

While she was getting ready for bed I reportedly walked to the toilet and calmly said "its going to be bad" and proceeded to vomit.

 

[VTXCyRyD]

One of my finest hours was early in the first semester of my junior year at ISU (fall of '05).

We threw a Thursday night party at our apartment on the first Thursday of the school year. There was a girl at the party who had wanted to hook up with my brother a few weeks ago, but he was still dating his HS girlfriend and turned her down. She had been flirting with me all week via text messages, facebook, etc.

At the end of the evening, she decided she was going to spend the night in my room. I was pleased with this, as she was reasonably attractive and I was very, very intoxicated. Immediately following relations, this young lady ajourned herself to the rest room.

Now, I need to take a little side bar and point out that at this juncture in time, my roomates and I had created a little game around harassing whomever was dumb enough to drunkenly pass out in their room, or bring a girl back there and not lock the door.

While she was in the bathroom, my booze addled mind forgot about what had just happened and was only able to comprehend three things: 1) I was very, very drunk; 2) I was naked; 3) my door was unlocked. Wanting to avoid some kind of degrading prank, I locked the door and promptly passed out.

Three hours later I awake to pounding on the door and my cell phone blowing up. In my attempt to protect myself from meddling, I had locked my female companion out of my room while she was completely naked. She had spent the last three hours running around my apartment naked, eventually finding a towel, and then waking up my roomates (one of whom tried to "console" her), and pounded on my door until I finally responded. I let her back in, went to bed, and in the morning she made me toast and eggs.

Shortly thereafter, she joined the SALT Company and became a "born again virgin" or whatever they call that.

The only thing I got from that story is that you are so bad in the sack that you made her never want sex again

 

[timappelgate]

Had 10 beers, went to the bars, took shots of captain morgan, threw up on the floor by the bar. Dont remember how I left but woke in my roommates car outside of our apartment.

 

[LegendofRodA]

Too many stories to pick just one, but has anyone ever had their drinking "privledges" taken away on a cruise ship before?
Yeah they can do that.