First time parent advice, tips, tricks, etc.

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cowgirl836

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Bonus bonus, have infant tylenol and motrin on hand with dosing printed out and approved by dr for under the 12 or 17lb lower limit on the box. No motrin under 6 months. note the time of my post and what you don't want to be trying to figure out or run to CVS for at 3am because this is always when they get a fever, I swear. Keep it stocked, you'll need it before you realize it.
 

Ms3r4ISU

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We have a similar rule, our kids will always have Christmas morning in our house. We do head to my parents' that afternoon, but not until we're done with our family stuff.

Yes to this. When our DD was one, my mom told me that if we wanted our own family "traditions" like spending Christmas Eve at home, that's what we should do. And we did.

That was such a change from when I was growing up and our family alternated spending Christmas Eve and Day (and some other holidays) with either Mom's family on one side of the state and Dad's parents on the other side. We spent a lot of Interstate 80 travel time during our holiday breaks. I think Mom wanted to be sure we did what we wanted, not what others expected us to do. We passed that on to our next generation.
 

cowgirl836

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My kids were escape artists. No matter how tight we wrapped them up, they'd bust out.

Important takeaway, all babies are different, and what works for one may not work for another.


one of our first pics in the hospital is our son busting his arm out of the hospital swaddle. He was an escape artist. I know people loved the sleep sacks but when ours was really little, he was too squirmy and he'd escape or wriggle the wrap up over his face so we had to stop with those real quick. Definitely a baby dependent thing. We did use Halo ones as he got bigger and that was ok.
 

BCClone

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Yes to this. When our DD was one, my mom told me that if we wanted our own family "traditions" like spending Christmas Eve at home, that's what we should do. And we did.

That was such a change from when I was growing up and our family alternated spending Christmas Eve and Day (and some other holidays) with either Mom's family on one side of the state and Dad's parents on the other side. We spent a lot of Interstate 80 travel time during our holiday breaks. I think Mom wanted to be sure we did what we wanted, not what others expected us to do. We passed that on to our next generation.

My family was always a little more flexible. We moved Christmas around when I got married (my sisters in-laws didn’t really celebrate together) since my in-laws have three get togethers and was adamant about keeping them. With the loss of my mom and oldest sister in the last 18 months all holidays seems to have changed.
 

JP4CY

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It's been 15 years since we had a child, things may have changed. I just know that having that period of peace while the baby was being looked after by the nurses out of our room in the nursery without having to wake up constantly through the night was huge for us. It's exhausting. It's all on you when you leave and go home. I say take advantage of the help while you have it.
Others said no nursery now. All on all the the time.
it's more the hospitals finding a way to save $$$ and brand it as "better for the baby"
Methodist downtown still has a nursery on both sides of their hospital and they are used at night.
 

Angie

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I think this is hard, because everyone is an expert in their own mind. You'll get lots of bad advice and some good advice, and will be too dumb as a first timer to know the difference. I read (and still do) all of the studies on everything from breastfeeding to delaying solids to sleeping. And while I'm glad I did, a whole lot of what you read is going to be crap. So here is what it boils down to:

Be gentle to your child. Give them love and support, and be kind, and they will be the same in turn. Be mindful and pay close attention to their needs, but also listen to their wants.

As far as more practical advice:

- If you can do it, breastfeeding is cheapest and healthiest, and has the closest connection with the baby and mother. But, it also puts a ton of stress on the mother (and about 90% of that is what we do to ourselves), so be supportive of whatever she decides. If she quits, let her know it's okay. If she keeps going, bring her food she can eat with one hand and help her change diapers at 3 am.

- Really, really do research on daycare. Get on the list of the best ones around right now, as they fill up even before people are pregnant, and then do your research leisurely. DHS has some good info on registered in-homes and centers (read THIS), and make sure to tour. Same thing with preschools - wait lists get waaaay longer than you think. You want the person who is with your child 50 hours a week to be trustworthy.

- Don't be noble on accepting hand-me-downs. It is nice to pimp out your kid in the newest clothes, but they change wardrobes every 3 months for the first year, and then every six months after that, and that **** gets expensive. However, ideally get new shoes, as wearing used shoes with indented inner soles can be damaging to their feet. (And don't bother with shoes until they're walking, anyway.)
 

Angie

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Oh - also, people are going to ask you the most random, personal crap about your newborn ever. I had no idea how many people were concerned with a newborn's penis until we had a boy and everyone wanted to know if we were circumcising. Or if we were getting our newborn daughter's ears pierced. People are weird.
 

Ms3r4ISU

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One practical suggestion from this grandma: do not stock up (overwhelmingly) on any one brand of diapers, wipes, formula, etc. Until you have a baby in hand, you don't know about allergies, irritations, smells-frangrances, even personal preferences. When DD was a baby, I'd much rather have used Luvs diapers than just about any other brand (mostly for travel though, because we used cloth regularly.) I didn't use them much because of the cost. Now, DD's little ones never got/get Luvs (they're primarily cloth users, too) because she can't stand the funky smell of that brand. Not something I'd ever think of, but so glad I didn't buy a bunch for them pre-baby #1.
 
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Gonzo

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Oh - also, people are going to ask you the most random, personal crap about your newborn ever. I had no idea how many people were concerned with a newborn's penis until we had a boy and everyone wanted to know if we were circumcising. Or if we were getting our newborn daughter's ears pierced. People are weird.

giphy.gif
 

BCClone

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Not exactly sure.
Oh - also, people are going to ask you the most random, personal crap about your newborn ever. I had no idea how many people were concerned with a newborn's penis until we had a boy and everyone wanted to know if we were circumcising. Or if we were getting our newborn daughter's ears pierced. People are weird.

Did you ask them if they wanted to see? That would probably pause them a bit.
 

cowgirl836

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Sep 3, 2009
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I think this is hard, because everyone is an expert in their own mind. You'll get lots of bad advice and some good advice, and will be too dumb as a first timer to know the difference. I read (and still do) all of the studies on everything from breastfeeding to delaying solids to sleeping. And while I'm glad I did, a whole lot of what you read is going to be crap. So here is what it boils down to:

Be gentle to your child. Give them love and support, and be kind, and they will be the same in turn. Be mindful and pay close attention to their needs, but also listen to their wants.

As far as more practical advice:

- If you can do it, breastfeeding is cheapest and healthiest, and has the closest connection with the baby and mother. But, it also puts a ton of stress on the mother (and about 90% of that is what we do to ourselves), so be supportive of whatever she decides. If she quits, let her know it's okay. If she keeps going, bring her food she can eat with one hand and help her change diapers at 3 am.

- Really, really do research on daycare. Get on the list of the best ones around right now, as they fill up even before people are pregnant, and then do your research leisurely. DHS has some good info on registered in-homes and centers (read THIS), and make sure to tour. Same thing with preschools - wait lists get waaaay longer than you think. You want the person who is with your child 50 hours a week to be trustworthy.

- Don't be noble on accepting hand-me-downs. It is nice to pimp out your kid in the newest clothes, but they change wardrobes every 3 months for the first year, and then every six months after that, and that **** gets expensive. However, ideally get new shoes, as wearing used shoes with indented inner soles can be damaging to their feet. (And don't bother with shoes until they're walking, anyway.)


Garage sales in nice neighborhoods. And FB marketplace. My child has a lot of pre-loved stuff!
 
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CtownCyclone

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One practical suggestion from this grandma: do not stock up (overwhelmingly) on any one brand of diapers, wipes, formula, etc. Until you have a baby in hand, you don't know about allergies, irritations, smells-frangrances, even personal preferences. When DD was a baby, I'd much rather have used Luvs diapers than just about any other brand (mostly for travel though, because we used cloth regularly.) I didn't use them much because of the cost. Now, DD's little ones never got/get Luvs (they're primarily cloth users, too) because she can't stand the funky smell of that brand. Not something I'd ever think of, but so glad I didn't buy a bunch for them pre-baby #1.

Another angle on the diaper thing - the kid's butt may fit better in one brand vs. another brand. We are Huggies people. Luvs, Pampers, all resulted in monster blowouts. Huggies, though, they keep it well contained.
 
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