First time parent advice, tips, tricks, etc.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by derpyherky, Dec 9, 2019.

  1. BCClone

    BCClone Well-Known Member

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    I wore a jean jacket for a winter coat in sub zero temps a couple days because my one kid blew out all over it.

    Reminds me, always ask how meds affect everything, some will give diarrhea or nasty rashes. Good to know going in.
     
  2. CycloneErik

    CycloneErik Well-Known Member

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    Huggies rule. That stripe thing is handy as a learning parent, too.
     
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  3. BryceC

    BryceC Well-Known Member
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    We've had season football/basketball tickets and have brought all 3 of our kids to a LOT of games. In 2017 we brought our month old to the Big 12 tourney. Believe it or not you just get used to it as with most things. My having kids rules, and I've got 3 now:
    • First off, nothing is as big of a deal as it seems.
    • Don't fall into the trap of feeling like you have to do a ton of stuff you don't want to do.
    • Coach your kids in rec leagues. As long as you honestly just try and do a good job communicating with the team it'll be something that you can really enjoy.
    • You're going to use approximately 10% of the crap you buy for your infants/baby stage.
     
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  4. throwittoblythe

    throwittoblythe Well-Known Member

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    Haven’t read the entire thread, but here’s my advice:

    pregnancy and child rearing is one of those areas where everyone feels the need to share their opinion. I don’t know why this is, but if you bring up any subject related to it, you will immediately be bombarded with opinions. Traditional vs c-section, epidural vs no meds, breastfeeding vs formula, daycare vs staying home, the list goes on. You will constantly meet people who will act like you’re satan incarnate for doing one of the other.

    It’s all noise. YOU are the parent now. Seek counsel from other parents you respect, but it’s ultimately your marriage and your kids. make the call that works best for your family.
     
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  5. ImJustKCClone

    ImJustKCClone Well-Known Member
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    I really wish this didn't need my "optimistic" rating!
     
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  6. jereseib

    jereseib Well-Known Member

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    I just wanted to add some things about staying home vs daycare. I have been staying home with our 6 month old since my wife went back to work about 4 months ago. Its not for everyone but definitely has some advantages.

    -I work part time, still manage to get in 25-30 hours per week, both grandmas take a day babysitting so I get two 10 hour days in during the week and then another 10 hours every other Saturday when my wife is home.

    -We actually have more money now than if we were both working full time and paying for daycare.

    -I get to spend alot of time with the baby and she gets to avoid all the dreaded colds that make their way through daycares.

    -I can get alot of projects done around the house while Im home.

    - It's hard work though, its a non-stop cycle of feeding, playing with the baby, and then getting what you need to get done for yourself in the few hours the baby naps during the day.

    -Some days you wont have much time for yourself.
     
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  7. ImJustKCClone

    ImJustKCClone Well-Known Member
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    Birth mom of 2, blended family mom of 6, grandmother of 16.

    My advice? Every kid is different. Every family is different. Find your own path.

    The baby needs you and your love. All the rest is details.
     
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  8. tec71

    tec71 Well-Known Member

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    #168 tec71, Dec 10, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2019
    Diapers, Maternity Ward, Formula, FB Games, Costco/Sams…

    In the end I promise you none of it matters. You'll figure it out with trial and error. Sometimes a little more error than trial but you'll figure out what works for you. You'll be tired. You'll be cranky. You'll feel at times like you are failing. Sometimes you will be. But in reality even then you are probably NOT actually hurting your kid.

    My 5 year old son and 5 month old daughter died in a car crash in 2010. There is only one piece of advice that I give people. Take video, lots of video of your kid. Video of them rolling around on the floor making stupid noises, laying next to the dog, trying to roll over, making a crazy face when you try to feed them prunes. As they get older the tendency is to stop taking every day video. Don't wait until they are up to bat, or playing the piano, or dancing. Those videos are great for grandma and grandpa who can't be there but 99% of them never get watched again and the 1% that do probably don't come out until the high school graduation party. Pull out your phone once a week and ask them about their day. If you see them playing in the corner take out your phone and record them. Ask them what they are doing. Their imaginations are priceless. Pictures are great, and you should take a ridiculous amount of them but video is king. When they are older listening them talk about an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine or Veggie Tales is amazing. Their voice and movement conveys their personality so much more than a picture can. My most treasured memories are the videos of them doing nothing special. For what it's worth.
     
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  9. derpyherky

    derpyherky Active Member

    May 11, 2018
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    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I appreciate all of what you said and have taken a mental note of your advice.
     
  10. JP4CY

    JP4CY I LOVE LAMP
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    Wow, takes a lot to share this. Thank you.
     
  11. CYdTracked

    CYdTracked Well-Known Member

    Mar 23, 2006
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    Best advice I can give is you are going to make mistakes as a parent and especially with your first kid probably overthink everything so don't beat yourself up over things when you feel that you have made a mistake or failed as a parent. When/if you have your next child everything seems WAAAAYYYYY easier after you have gone through it once already you'll look back and laugh at some of the silly things you did the first time you had a newborn.

    As for hospitals Mercy downtown would be my recommendation. Have toured both facilities and the rooms at Mercy are much bigger and more accommodating if you plan to stay overnight with your wife or have guests. Plus our experiences with their staff was awesome. My wife had 2 C section deliveries so we had longer stays and she had nothing but high praise for the nurses there. First child was definitely a hectic day, we had scheduled to induce on a Monday morning and Sunday night at 10pm my wife went to bed and rushed to the bathroom about 15 minutes later because her water broke. Was in labor for about 20 hours before they finally decided to do a C section. You pretty much have to have the perfect situation to deliver at one of the WDM hospitals and should you need the NICU they have to rush you and your child downtown for that so why not just have your child downtown anyways? I'd trade in the convenience of location to have all the facilities and specialists in 1 location just in case there were any complications. My wife was considered high risk because of her age and she has a didelphic uterus so delivering at a West location wasn't even an option. Fortunately carried both children full term and were healthy deliveries but my wife jokes that if we wanted to have another kid it might kill her as she spent a night in the hospital about 10 days after our 2nd child was born because she was anemic and had to get 3 units of blood and 1 unit of iron.

    Best of luck, lots of good suggestions here and be sure to plan early and always ask questions when in doubt as it's best to be prepared in advance as there is enough learning on the fly and adjusting to come once your little once arrives.
     
  12. CYdTracked

    CYdTracked Well-Known Member

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    There aren't many things I read on CF that cause me to pause to think about something or tugs on my emotions, but your story definitely did. Thanks for sharing, that probably took a lot. We probably don't take enough video or photos of our kids and this made me stop to think of what would happen if either of them were gone tomorrow. I can't even imagine how tough that would be and your story is a great reminder of how to cherish and value every minute you get with family and friends because you never know if the next time you see them could be your last with them.
     
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  13. Ms3r4ISU

    Ms3r4ISU Well-Known Member

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    I think about you and your family every time I'm in that area, and I do mean every time. I wonder about why it happened and hope nothing like it happens again. Thanks for sharing for those who didn't know. For me it would still be difficult.
     
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  14. CycloneErik

    CycloneErik Well-Known Member

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    Soon as I saw your name on the post, I knew it would reach a new level of real.
    Thanks for sharing your wisdom again!
     
  15. mcblogerson

    mcblogerson Well-Known Member

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    Dont have the kid sleeping in your room or your bed at night.

    I get maybe one cold per year. The first year of putting a kid in daycare, I was sure I had AIDS, I was sick so much. If you dont put your kids in daycare, you’ll go through that phase when they first go to school.

    I would hum the ISU fight song when my kids were babies. Now they love watching games with me, and hopefully wont tattoo some trash school on their belly.
     
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  16. Bubbahotep

    Bubbahotep Well-Known Member

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    They are good kids and fun to be around, I'm actually enjoying these years a lot more than when they were little.
     
  17. salennon07

    salennon07 Active Member

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    Everyone loves/hates different branded diapers.. But I've found the ones we like the most and the most cost effective way to buy are the up and up (target brand).

    Target does a promo about every other month where you spend 100 in baby essentials and you get a 20 dollar gift card. 100 may seem like a lot but it's not lol so stock up!

    The gift card promo is most commonly 100 get 20, but I've seen 25 back and even 30 one time.

    Other thing, buy a nice auto read thermometer that works well on forehead / ear. When you know they are sick and watching their temp overnight at a young age the last thing you want to do is be dealing with a cheap slow reading one that is going to wake them up (when sleep is a precious commodity).
     
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  18. tec71

    tec71 Well-Known Member

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    This is the best advice anyone, including me, could give you. Don’t do anything to wake a sleeping baby, especially a sick one. Fast auto read thermometer should be at the top of the baby registry.
     
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  19. Joe4Cy

    Joe4Cy Member

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    If it hasn't been mentioned, I wholly recommend the book On Being Baby Wise. It takes the best of several approaches and puts them to strong use. Some approaches may seem backward from everything else; however, it works so well. My first was sleeping through the night within 3 months. His brother was a little more stubborn and was sleeping soundly within 7 months. Both of them were happy, easy children to raise.

    Some other things. And sorry if they have been repeated or sound like common sense. I make my students promise me the same things:

    1. Read. Every day. At least 15 minutes.
    2. Tummy time is important. They'll hate it at first; be strong.
    3. Dude - no matter how well you feel you're prepared for how fast things go, it'll never be enough. I can't believe my oldest is a freshman already. I only have 3.5 years left...
    4. Take care of yourself and your spouse. Recognize when either of you need a break.
    5. Enjoy every moment. It's going to be awesome.

    Congratulations!
     
  20. Joe4Cy

    Joe4Cy Member

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    Oh, one more! Baby sign language! It sounds like a joke and I scoffed at it initially. They get to a point where they know want they want or need. They just don't have the vocal ability to tell you. That's where the frustration and tears come. Baby sign language is amazing. We got away with just four or five simple things, like yes, no, more, and thank you. Awesome!

    If you're in DM, bring new child down to Farmer's Market. I kind of know the guy that runs the children's barrel train on 2nd Avenue. I may be able to hook you up with a ride!
     

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