Empty nest

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Cyclonepride

Thought Police
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Apr 11, 2006
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A pineapple under the sea
www.oldschoolradical.com
My son just moved out tonight into his first apartment.

Although we always kind of looked forward to that day in a way, when it arrives, it's really hard. We spent last night packing boxes, and we were digging toys out of his closet that he and I played with when he was 5 years old. It's absolutely stunning how fast the time goes.
 

inCyteful

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Feb 28, 2012
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Right there with you. Our youngest of 4 heads to ISU this fall. Just starting to realize how different things are going to be. I am sure we will find time to get in all the things we have put off it is going to be really weird.
 

LarryISU

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Feb 10, 2013
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Hey, it's a life changing event. It should be an emotional period of adjustment. But you raise kids to be independent and to set them free. This is what all those years of raising them was for. Time to find out if you did a good job! But yeah, can't help but get choked up.
 

SEIOWA CLONE

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Dec 19, 2018
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I tend to think woman struggle with this more than men. Way to many people said you will miss them, after the last one left for college, Nope, I started sleeping better, did not have to worry where they are, what are they doing, and are they going to be home by midnight. Love my kids, and now my grandkids, but I do not miss them living under my roof. Visiting yes, I apply the 3 day rule, you are more than welcome to come here and stay 3 days, after that, we will be getting on each others nerves and its time to go home. I apply the same rule when I visit my youngest in Dallas, glad to stay up to 3 days, after that, its time to go home.

My wife and I are in a different situation than most, having a special needs child that still lives at home, but I do not miss her siblings living under my roof. Call me callus or crazy, but life is just a lot simpler without all the drama. Plus now I do not have to worry on a nightly basis if my sons and their friends are drinking all my beer out of my kegerator.
 
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SoapyCy

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Oct 10, 2012
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We have two under 5 and I absolutely adore them. I know I'll be in tears as they age from who they are now so I try to realize not having time to golf or work out or whatever I want to do is worth it because some day I'll have all day to golf but no kids around.
 

Cyclonepride

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Apr 11, 2006
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I tend to think woman struggle with this more than men. Way to many people said you will miss them, after the last one left for college, Nope, I started sleeping better, did not have to worry where they are, what are they doing, and are they going to be home by midnight. Love my kids, and now my grandkids, but I do not miss them living under my roof. Visiting yes, I apply the 3 day rule, you are more than welcome to come here and stay 3 days, after that, we will be getting on each others nerves and its time to go home. I apply the same rule when I visit my youngest in Dallas, glad to stay up to 3 days, after that, its time to go home.

My wife and I are in a different situation than most, having a special needs child that still lives at home, but I do not miss her siblings living under my roof. Call me callus or crazy, but life is just a lot simpler without all the drama. Plus now I do not have to worry on a nightly basis if my sons and their friends are drinking all my beer out of my kegerator.

You hit on one thing I am looking forward to- a restful sleep. I've made him use the garage so that I knew when he came back in, but often couldn't sleep until that happened. It was always a terrible feeling of panic waking up and realizing it was very late and I hadn't heard that yet.
 
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BCClone

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Sep 4, 2011
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Not exactly sure.
Oldest daughter leaving for ISU this fall. When I think of her not being here every day it feels kind of like this...




Oldest is leaving for ISU this fall, probably the most similar to me. That one will hurt.

I have informed my son to ask all potential dates who their parents are fans of, don’t want any potential dim-witted grandkids.
 

Hayes30

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Jun 20, 2011
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My son just moved out tonight into his first apartment.

Although we always kind of looked forward to that day in a way, when it arrives, it's really hard. We spent last night packing boxes, and we were digging toys out of his closet that he and I played with when he was 5 years old. It's absolutely stunning how fast the time goes.
Man my son is only 6 months old and I'm already dreading the day.
 

ImJustKCClone

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We went from four boys in the house to none in the space of just one year. The older two graduated, one left for college and the other returned to Germany. The younger two never got along very well as each was the "baby" of his respective family and resented the other. They also felt we had too many rules. :D

Rather than learn to get along, one opted to move in with his dad at the end of the summer, and the other moved in with his mom midway through the school year.

I heard someone say a long time ago that the silence of an empty nest was deafening...and they were absolutely right. We got used to it, but it took us some time to start doing things for ourselves rather than always schlepping around central Iowa to their extracurricular activities. :)
 

NebrClone

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Apr 11, 2006
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Been an empty nester for several years. It was hard getting used to doing all the work around the house again. But it took several more years before I became any empty checkbooker. They always seem to need money when they were starting out. After my daughter had been working for several years, she called one day and said, "Dad I quite my job today, Dad I am going to law school and Dad here is how much money I need each year."
 

Cycsk

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My advice for an empty-nester (or soon to be) is to start "dating" your spouse again [emphasis on "your spouse!"]. Seriously, for a lot of couples, the kids become the center of their relationship. When the kids move out, the couple doesn't have the same relationship any more and some drift even farther apart. For us, it was a period of rediscovering why we fell in love and got married in the first place.
 

Nelcyn

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Nov 29, 2012
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I don't think I can quite understand your feelings yet as I have 3 kids under 13 years old. I would like to think I would be more active with my kids as they move out of the house. Once I left for college, graduated, got a job, married, had kids, I just grew further and further apart from them. My parents were just too old and comfortable.
 

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