I realize that you're making a joke, but I agree 100%. Prostitution should be legalized, and regulated. Hookers would have to maintain a license and part of that license maintenance would be mandatory health checks on some kind of regular basis.
Throw in a 25% tax like CO did for weed, and away you go.
I'll throw my hat into the ring as head of the Federal Escort Service Regulatory Agency, I have to imagine mandatory workplace attire will look something similar to