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Need Some Help

EYEoftheSTORM

EYEoftheSTORM

Well-Known Member
SuperFanatic
SuperFanatic T2
Jan 3, 2009
3,073
446
83
34
Ames, Iowa
Hey guys, I am coming to you to ask for some help. I am sure that quite a few of you are married or at least dating, so I sure some of you have been through this before.

My girlfriend turns 30 next month and it is really bothering her. She is always upset about everything and never wants to talk about it with me. I have tried alot but it never works, and she still stays upset. Its nothing that she is upset with me over just a bunch of things piled on top of being 30 soon.

Any advice would help (I'm sure some of you guys have experienced this before) as I am about out of ideas and hate how she is always upset...

Thank you in advance.
 
azepp

azepp

Well-Known Member
Dec 9, 2009
3,964
140
63
Ankeny
EYEoftheSTORM said:
Hey guys, I am coming to you to ask for some help. I am sure that quite a few of you are married or at least dating, so I sure some of you have been through this before.

My girlfriend turns 30 next month and it is really bothering her. She is always upset about everything and never wants to talk about it with me. I have tried alot but it never works, and she still stays upset. Its nothing that she is upset with me over just a bunch of things piled on top of being 30 soon.

Any advice would help (I'm sure some of you guys have experienced this before) as I am about out of ideas and hate how she is always upset...

Thank you in advance.
Click to expand...
She's a female and is upset about things - I guarantee she's talking to someone about it... Find out who that person is (hopefully a female friend of hers) and get the scoop.
 
optimuslott

optimuslott

Active Member
Sep 3, 2011
152
33
28
Ames, IA
Hey dude,
I, myself, am 30 and married. My wife also turns 30 this year. I also have a PhD in Psychology which is never a good thing when it comes to marriage! Anyhoo, take what I say with a huge grain of salt as I am a researcher and not a counselor.

Cumulative stress is a killer. It drains the body of resources and can dramatically impair your partner's mood, ability to process information, reaction time, sleep, and even immune functioning. If she is not wanting to talk to you, then definitely don't force her as this will add pressure or stress onto an already stressful time.

So...what can you do. Flat out tell her I'm here if you want to talk. Do "the little things" that show her you care and age doesn't matter. Hell...tell her she is as awesome as Iowa State! That one always works for me :) Anyhoo, patience is your friend right now. Guys, like you and me, want to fix things and women (well who the heck knows). Anyhoo, be patient, acknowledge to her that you know something is up and you will be there when she is ready. To affirm the unconditional love component is always the best option!
 
0

00clone

Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2011
19,661
602
113
Iowa City area
I don't know if this'll help, but generally, when I'm upset, I'm cheered up by most fried or grilled meat products. Maybe that's not her style.

My wife tended to clam up when she was upset and it drove me nuts. I finally got thru to her when I said that I was driving myself nuts trying to figure out what was bothering her. Most of the time it was something else, she'd stew over it for a few days, then finally tell me what it was. Meanwhile, I could tell she was upset, and would rack my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong. I think when she realized that I cared enough to make myself miserable over her unhappiness, she knew I cared. Typical woman, they get happy realizing we're miserable.

I would recommend trying to get at the heart of what's up with 30. Is it just the age thing? You mentioned girlfriend...my wife was stressing about not being married, having kids, etc. by a certain age in her mind's plan, so that's a possibility too. Either way, what about age 30 bugs her? Depending on what it is, the answer might be that the best thing you can do is shut up, or it might be that the two of you have some talking to do.
 
Cyclonepride

Cyclonepride

Thought Police
Staff member
Apr 11, 2006
96,804
58,007
113
53
A pineapple under the sea
www.oldschoolradical.com
Just be as supportive of her as you can, and let her know that you are always available to listen.

My wife was stressed out with all we had to do when we got married, as we had to sell her townhome, move her down to my house, then get that house ready to sell, buy another house and then move there. It was a lot to handle all at once. I just repeatedly shifted the focus from EVERYTHING we had to do to the NEXT thing we had to do. When you look at all of your problems or tasks at once, they can seem insurmountable, so I tried to keep her (and our) focus on the next little step to the top of the mountain. It seemed to work pretty good.
 
G

GoCubsGo

Well-Known Member
Jul 22, 2008
1,408
172
63
My advice - find a new girlfriend. Preferably one that doesn't stress over superficial ****.
 
TruClone

TruClone

Well-Known Member
Mar 25, 2009
2,120
610
113
Quad Cities
optimuslott said:
Hey dude,
I, myself, am 30 and married. My wife also turns 30 this year. I also have a PhD in Psychology which is never a good thing when it comes to marriage! Anyhoo, take what I say with a huge grain of salt as I am a researcher and not a counselor.

Cumulative stress is a killer. It drains the body of resources and can dramatically impair your partner's mood, ability to process information, reaction time, sleep, and even immune functioning. If she is not wanting to talk to you, then definitely don't force her as this will add pressure or stress onto an already stressful time.

So...what can you do. Flat out tell her I'm here if you want to talk. Do "the little things" that show her you care and age doesn't matter. Hell...tell her she is as awesome as Iowa State! That one always works for me :) Anyhoo, patience is your friend right now. Guys, like you and me, want to fix things and women (well who the heck knows). Anyhoo, be patient, acknowledge to her that you know something is up and you will be there when she is ready. To affirm the unconditional love component is always the best option!
Click to expand...

I think you need to seek professional help for the use of the term "anyhoo" three times in your post!
 
ISUAgronomist

ISUAgronomist

Well-Known Member
Nov 5, 2009
26,649
8,327
113
On the farm, IA
jsmith86 said:
Step 1: Cut a hole in a box.
Click to expand...

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