A little dating advice...

[cycoOJfan89]

The break ups thread got me to thinking about my own dating scene and made me realize that I have never had a serious relationship. Some say that's a blessing in itself (mainly my older brother).

Well my only real GF was back at CR Washington in the spring prior to graduating in 07. We started as a fling but then actually started dating throughout the summer. Well just like everyone else in my class she attended Iowa and I was at ISU, she wanted to try it out and I agreed but a few weeks into the school year as freshman she became a Chi Omega at Iowa and I figured she was going to cheat on me anyway so I broke it off. This is my only real dating experience.

I'm no stranger to the one night stands throughout my years at ISU so it's not like I'm socially awkward, in fact being from CR I feel like I'm way more social than most at ISU. But I'm done with one night stands, I'm getting to the point where I want a GF but I haven't tried in so long or had much dating experience that I'm lost in the game of dating. Anyway I receive enough initial attention from ladies to get interest levels up from both parties. But since I've been trying to date girls it's always the same thing, I try and set up some sort of date or try to hang out and they will always agree, but then when it comes down to that time it's always the same... they always bail on me. It's gotten to the point where I expect them to bail on me even if they say they want to hang out.

I've heard it all, from "I just 'spontaneously' got sick" to "the weather is too bad for me to go out tonight." It's all getting old and I know it's not what I look like b/c I get plenty of initial attention and girls compliment how I look at parties quite often (the one night stands haha) So I know its got to be my game, I'm making them lose interest in me somehow and I don't know what it is. What do you think it could be?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

 

[hurdleisu24]

Just like in basketball, don't force the issue let the game come to you. If you try, they will be "pushed" away. Idk that's my experience anyways.

 

[ISUAgronomist]

Did you pose for an ad not knowing it was about VD and would be posted all over NYC?

 

[Bubbahotep]

Once you say hello, shut up and let them do all the talking. This also works well when you are married.

 

[Tre4ISU]

The break ups thread got me to thinking about my own dating scene and made me realize that I have never had a serious relationship. Some say that's a blessing in itself (mainly my older brother).

Well my only real GF was back at CR Washington in the spring prior to graduating in 07. We started as a fling but then actually started dating throughout the summer. Well just like everyone else in my class she attended Iowa and I was at ISU, she wanted to try it out and I agreed but a few weeks into the school year as freshman she became a Chi Omega at Iowa and I figured she was going to cheat on me anyway so I broke it off. This is my only real dating experience.

I'm no stranger to the one night stands throughout my years at ISU so it's not like I'm socially awkward, in fact being from CR I feel like I'm way more social than most at ISU. But I'm done with one night stands, I'm getting to the point where I want a GF but I haven't tried in so long or had much dating experience that I'm lost in the game of dating. Anyway I receive enough initial attention from ladies to get interest levels up from both parties. But since I've been trying to date girls it's always the same thing, I try and set up some sort of date or try to hang out and they will always agree, but then when it comes down to that time it's always the same... they always bail on me. It's gotten to the point where I expect them to bail on me even if they say they want to hang out.

I've heard it all, from "I just 'spontaneously' got sick" to "the weather is too bad for me to go out tonight." It's all getting old and I know it's not what I look like b/c I get plenty of initial attention and girls compliment how I look at parties quite often (the one night stands haha) So I know its got to be my game, I'm making them lose interest in me somehow and I don't know what it is. What do you think it could be?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Hey, I think you are me 2 years ago. Just let them know you are there and then let them go from there. Giving them too little attention is better than giving them too much. I don't know why I feel like I know anything on this subject but I have seen these things actually work. If you can get them on that first date, you have gotten past half the battle, IMO. The first one is the toughest. Also, if you can make them laugh, you always have a chance. My method was usually dancing to make them laugh if the opportunity was there.

 

[cycoOJfan89]

Just like in basketball, don't force the issue let the game come to you. If you try, they will be "pushed" away. Idk that's my experience anyways.

That's where I feel my flaw is, but I think there is fine line between showing too much interest and too little, and I've had problems finding the middle!

 

[Cyclonepride]

Just let the ladies determine the timing. When they're ready, you will sure as hell know it.

 

[Cyclone62]

Just let the ladies determine the timing. When they're ready, you will sure as hell know it.

And there are times that it will be frightening when you discover they're ready, but that's probably only if you aren't into handcuffs, whips, and being gagged while you're sleeping.

 

[Al_4_State]

The break ups thread got me to thinking about my own dating scene and made me realize that I have never had a serious relationship. Some say that's a blessing in itself (mainly my older brother).

Well my only real GF was back at CR Washington in the spring prior to graduating in 07. We started as a fling but then actually started dating throughout the summer. Well just like everyone else in my class she attended Iowa and I was at ISU, she wanted to try it out and I agreed but a few weeks into the school year as freshman she became a Chi Omega at Iowa and I figured she was going to cheat on me anyway so I broke it off. This is my only real dating experience.

I'm no stranger to the one night stands throughout my years at ISU so it's not like I'm socially awkward, in fact being from CR I feel like I'm way more social than most at ISU. But I'm done with one night stands, I'm getting to the point where I want a GF but I haven't tried in so long or had much dating experience that I'm lost in the game of dating. Anyway I receive enough initial attention from ladies to get interest levels up from both parties. But since I've been trying to date girls it's always the same thing, I try and set up some sort of date or try to hang out and they will always agree, but then when it comes down to that time it's always the same... they always bail on me. It's gotten to the point where I expect them to bail on me even if they say they want to hang out.

I've heard it all, from "I just 'spontaneously' got sick" to "the weather is too bad for me to go out tonight." It's all getting old and I know it's not what I look like b/c I get plenty of initial attention and girls compliment how I look at parties quite often (the one night stands haha) So I know its got to be my game, I'm making them lose interest in me somehow and I don't know what it is. What do you think it could be?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

YOU GOTTA CHERISH IT!!!!

Seriously though, I was in your exact same boat a few years back. Just keep your options for awhile, and don't seek out a relationship for relationship's sake. You're still young, continue to have fun because you will miss it at times.

When you find a girl, and it works, just let it happen. If you try to push for a relationship, they will bolt. One of the tenants of the Tao is "we pursue that which retreats from us". Stop pursuing, and just let it happen.

 

[bugs4cy]

Our 15-year wedding anniversary is right around the corner.

Meeting potential dates at parties and bars didn't pan out for either of us. Get to know her outside the world of drinking binges. Find out if you have things in common. You need a basis that lasts past college parties.

My husband worked with me for a couple years at ISU - while we we both dating other people. Once those crappy relationships fell apart we looked at each other and realized that Hey! we're a good match.

 

[bringmagicback]

Best advice you will ever receive if you just want a g/f to hang w/ w/out being so serious. Try being mean to them. It works very well. You will always have a g/f, however it won't ever work out so you dont have to worry about getting married. I usually like to be very nice which peaks interest, keeps you on their radar. Then after they trust you, be an ***, ignore them ect. This leads to them wanting to date you. Date them for awhile and then they won't want to be around you anymore because you are an ***, however they will still call you late at night which = profit. While this is happening you are finding the next girl and the process starts over. Target those w/ daddy issues, lower back tattoos ect. Eventually your looks will go and you wont have much going for you, in this case, abandon this strategy and be the nice guy you are and you pull girl who concentrated on her career and has a great job, she has put her all into her work and has risen to the top. However she feels empty and alone. She meets you and loves you because you are single with no baggage and in her age range, you are the best left available, this also = profit. This also keeps you from getting married to a shape shifter. Someone who is hot at 25 and fugly at 35. Get married to her and show her to the kitchen but allow her to maintain her high paying job while you are hardly holding on to your average job. You can also pretty much be who you are because she is 35ish and has a clock running in her uterus and does not want to start this process over. Am I the only one who has this figured out?

Serious.

 

[3GenClone]

I told myself when I graduated I would never date a woman I met at a bar - I married a bartender. It will happen, just be patient.

 

[kingcy]

Just enjoy the freedom, you have your whole life to be tied down to one woman.

 

[SaxaCLONE13]

Gotta say though cyco I think your just trying to find a dime piece in a whorehouse! The drunk sorority sluts at the bars aren't what your looking for!!!! :yes::wink:

 

[cycoOJfan89]

YOU GOTTA CHERISH IT!!!!

Seriously though, I was in your exact same boat a few years back. Just keep your options for awhile, and don't seek out a relationship for relationship's sake. You're still young, continue to have fun because you will miss it at times.

When you find a girl, and it works, just let it happen. If you try to push for a relationship, they will bolt. One of the tenants of the Tao is "we pursue that which retreats from us". Stop pursuing, and just let it happen.

This is probably true. I guess it kind of hit me when my 19 year old sister just got engaged (she goes to Iowa so who cares I guess) and my oldest brother who is 26 is about to have child number 4. My brother who is 25 still is single and has a bachelors pad in downtown Minneapolis (my avatar is from his balcony), but he's had serious relationships in the past unlike me.

Anyway another reason I posted this was because there was this girl whom I met freshman year but she was dating my good friend, well now its been over 2 years and I've known for a few months there had been at least an interest level in me. So we have been talking and we were suppose to meet up last thursday night but I blacked out and ended up telling her to go to 4th floor legacy, then on the 6th floor, than knapp st, and she was trying to meet up with me but I kept leaving and going to other places in my drunken state. I ended up at Paddy's and shes only 20, but that night could of ****** her off, if she was trying to meet up and I kept telling her different places to go.

I apologized for playing drunk tag (100% on me) and we set up a date for... tonight and like I had predicted she bailed! She could have a perfectly good reason but it has happened so many times in the past I have a hard time believing her. She did say however, we should go out together this weekend... so once again I'll have to wait and see if she is actually true to her word.

 

[cycoOJfan89]

Gotta say though cyco I think your just trying to find a dime in a whorehouse! The drunk sorority sluts at the bars aren't what your looking for!!!! :yes::wink:

I had a feeling you'd see this best friend from Wash and roomie from freshman year! Didn't think you were on this site too often... Just do me a favor and keep your loud mouth shut! :biggrin:

Ahh, you know me too well, but I've focused less on sluts lately haha and none from sororities either!

 

[cycoOJfan89]

Best advice you will ever receive if you just want a g/f to hang w/ w/out being so serious. Try being mean to them. It works very well. You will always have a g/f, however it won't ever work out so you dont have to worry about getting married. I usually like to be very nice which peaks interest, keeps you on their radar. Then after they trust you, be an ***, ignore them ect. This leads to them wanting to date you. Date them for awhile and then they won't want to be around you anymore because you are an ***, however they will still call you late at night which = profit. While this is happening you are finding the next girl and the process starts over. Target those w/ daddy issues, lower back tattoos ect. Eventually your looks will go and you wont have much going for you, in this case, abandon this strategy and be the nice guy you are and you pull girl who concentrated on her career and has a great job, she has put her all into her work and has risen to the top. However she feels empty and alone. She meets you and loves you because you are single with no baggage and in her age range, you are the best left available, this also = profit. This also keeps you from getting married to a shape shifter. Someone who is hot at 25 and fugly at 35. Get married to her and show her to the kitchen but allow her to maintain her high paying job while you are hardly holding on to your average job. You can also pretty much be who you are because she is 35ish and has a clock running in her uterus and does not want to start this process over. Am I the only one who has this figured out?

Serious.

I perfectly understand this tactic but me, personally, cannot be mean! It's not in me to do so, it was the way I was raised!

 

[SaxaCLONE13]

I had a feeling you'd see this best friend from Wash and roomie from freshman year! Didn't think you were on this site too often... Just do me a favor and keep your loud mouth shut! :biggrin:

Ahh, you know me too well, but I've focused less on sluts lately haha and none from sororities either!

:biglaugh:
Well that's good man! I really think that is your worst problem! Glad to see your raising your standards a little bit!!! :yes:

 

[ISUAgronomist]

she was dating my good friend

Sure you want to go after her?

 

[SaxaCLONE13]

Sure you want to go after her?

Well if its the good friend I'm thinking of yeah its definitely worth it!!!:biggrin::wink: