The Onion - Jesus Christ transfers to ISU

[cyclones500]

Is he immediately eligible, or is it sit-one, play-eternally?

 

[Cyched]

Can’t wait for our matchup with Satan

 

[MeanDean]

I'm not ready to crown him savior of our program until I see him play.

Why the f don't you change your user name to Thomas?

 

[MeanDean]

Pregame prayer = awkward.

 

[madguy30]

I'm not ready to crown him savior of our program until I see him play.

And even then, let's not get too excited just because he has a good Thanksgiving or birthday tournament.

 

[Cyched]

And even then, let's not get too excited just because he has a good Thanksgiving or birthday tournament.

Rumor is he had a mysterious 3 day absence in March or April the past few years

 

[madguy30]

Rumor is he had a mysterious 3 day absence in March or April the past few years

March is all about living to see another day and he's got that 'never say die' attitude that quite frankly the program's been missing.

 

[Tony Gunk]

Stat line unfortunately shows zero steals for his career.

 

[BWRhasnoAC]

Pretty impressive pull given his offer list of Notre Dame, Holy Cross and Incarnate Word

Our mortal enemy...

 

[JM4CY]

This would be a dominant backcourt. Also, people are saying we have an inside track to signing Budda to shore up the front court.

I don’t know. I worry about that being too much to keep the team chemistry in check with too many guys trying to play hero ball.

 

[aauummm]

This thread has really brought out some great creative humor from the CF members!

 

[GTO]

Are we still in the mix on Mohammed?

This would be a dominant backcourt. Also, people are saying we have an inside track to signing Budda to shore up the front court.

They could be a dominant team, but only if they believed in each other. Which I don't see happening.

 

[Clonehomer]

Going to be weird when they pan to the crowd to show his dad.

 

[madguy30]

Going to be weird when they pan to the crowd to show his dad.

Also might be a really long segment if they do a side story about their journey and his upbringing.

 

[theshadow]

Good thing we don't have baseball, because I've heard he can't hit a curveball.

 

[Cyched]

If he's a prolific 3 point shooter, do we need to find a new nickname for Naz?

 

[GTO]

I heard Bill Self offered him the world if he would just kneel to him, but he refused.

 

[Cycsk]

Guy has a messianic concept. Thinks he can win it all by himself.

 

[cycloner29]

Hope that he doesn't miss games due to feet, hands, and side injuries. Medical staff can work wonders.

 

[el tornado]

Sounds like a great get but let's not get ahead of ourselves...
it's not like he can walk on water... oh wait