***Official Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 02-12-2020***

[GTO]

First and foremost, a few links:
Our official question submissions thread: https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...n-weekly-mailbag-questions-submission.251174/

Link to last five mailbags (if bored and need some reading material):
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-08-2020.254206/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/threads/official-insider-information-weekly-mailbag-01-15-2020.254348/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-22-2020.254482/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-29-2020.254609/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-02-05-2020.254733/


Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 02-12-2020
Sponsored by CFWL: the Cyclone Fanatic Wrestling League


@CloneLawman asks: I was waiting until the Iowa caucus results were announced to ask my question. Do I get an extension due to the Iowa Dems incompetence?
Pants: You can get the extension, but your end result may not even end up being accurate anyway.
GTO: The results are being challenged by the Sanders campaign, so you may have to wait until that is settled before you can ask your question. Have a walking taco and a clone cone, because it may be a while.

@Sigmapolis asks: What five things need to happen in the spring and summer (with recruiting and player development) for us to return to the NCAA tournament in 2021?
GTO: 1. Figure out the right roles for Conditt, Griffin, Young, and Lewis.
2. Have one or two of the new players turn into serviceable three-point shooters
3. Grad transfer point guard
4. Emphasis on rebounding at the expense of giving up some transition baskets at time.
5. Replace one of the assistant coaches with someone who can either: a) help with defense b) help develop our bigs.
Pants: 1. Convince Hali to stay
2. Get a new head coach
3. Figure out that how to actually utilize Conditt
4. Inbounds plays
5. Bring back big Georges

@mdk2isu asks: With the football recruiting class now finalized, which of the signees are you most looking forward to seeing on the field? Do one for both offense and defense.
Pants: Bankston on defense. I love his swagger and think he’ll excell in his role. On offense Dekker. But since he won’t see the field as quickly, I’ll go with TJ Tampa.
GTO: Offense has to be TJ Tampa. I hope the amount of hype around him is warranted. Defensively, I also agree that Latrell Bankston will be key if we hope to continue playing a 3-man front. Dude looks legit.

@Angie shooting first and asking bulleted questions later:
-Do you follow recruiting for basketball/football? Or do you find it too speculative?
-What stamps do you have on your passport?
-Three bullets minimum.
GTO: -I follow basketball recruiting a lot closer than I follow football. I do find football very speculative, but basketball seems a lot more spot on.
-Panama, Dominican Republic, Canada.
-Why are these things called bullets anyway? They look more like bullet holes. Unless you’re talking about revolutionary war era bullets which looked like balls stuffed into a cloth with gun powder.
Pants: -It’s give and take with me. I like football more, so I try to keep up, but there’s so many more players that I just don’t find it worth my time. Basketball there’s a lot less players to keep up with, but I’m only somewhat interested in basketball, so it’s hard for me to get as excited about it.
-Only Costa Rica and Canada right now Looking to increase those soon, though! (Does Canada even stamp? I honestly can’t remember.)
-Where’s the fourth?

@Doc with the unnecessarily long numbered list: Got a biological question for you guys
1. What is the scariest bird in the world?
Pants: Probably the Shoebill. I’ve had one of those attack me once when I worked at the Indianapolis Zoo. Geese are pretty terrifying as well.
GTO: Who falcon cares? In all seriousness, I think any of the larger birds of prey are pretty scary. According to Google, the deadliest birds to humans are ostriches and cassowaries. I knew about cassowaries, but I guess ostriches could be pretty dangerous as well.

@Sigmapolis asks: Who was your main on Super Smash Brothers back in the day?
GTO: Link, bro. Welcome to the Hyrule friendzone. This got me thinking about Kirby and Jigglypuff and how much they looked alike whenever the screen zoomed out. Bad decision to include them both in the game.
Pants: PlayStation user 4 lyfe

 

[GTO]

@jcyclonee worshipping ancient Aztec gods: Do those flying snakes count as birds?
Pants: I’m not a zoologist, but I think you’re talking about pterodactyls.
GTO: The Aztecs called the feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl while the Mayans called him Kukulkan. In later pre-Columbian lore he is portrayed as a foreign deity that wore a sort of cape of feathers. Some say his origin story very closely resembles that of Jesus Christ, prompting some scholars to closely study the similarities between both stories. Quetzalcoatl/Kukulkan left this world (a few centuries before the white man arrived in the Americas) and promised to return some day. Some people also claim that he may have been an extraterrestrial being that was worshipped by the Aztecs/Mayans. I know, I know…

Pants: Damn. This was an education.
GTO: You guys did US History in school while I did Latin American History. If you ever want to know about the Incas, Mayans, Aztecs, the native tribes that inhabited the Caribbean islands, the Spanish conquest and how the Catholic Church divided rights to colonize between Spain and Portugal, British/Dutch pirates and corsairs, Cuahutemoc, Huascar and Atahualpa, Francisco Pizarro, Hernan Cortes, Simon Bolivar and Jose Maria de Sucre’s revolutionary war to liberate South America from Spanish rule, etc., I may just be your guy.

@jcyclonee crying his way through an Indian meal: This Chicken 65 seems a bit spicier than normal. Should I have gone with the Hyderabad Chicken?
Pants: I’m trying to hold back my comment about white people thinking everything is spicy.
GTO: Man, white people think everything is spicy. Make sure you load up on Naan to help soothe the heat from that plain white rice.

@Doc asking us What Not To Wear: Settle a couple of fashion arguments for me.
I personally believe that wearing two socks that are polka dotted or two socks that are striped horizontally should be considered close enough to not be a fashion faux paus, even if they are different colors. Where I draw the line is that they both must be cold colors or warm colors to match the rest of your outfit. I’m correct, aren’t I?
Also, a mathematical question on pants. Which axis (x,y,z) do you have to slice a pair of pants to correctly turn them into a pant?
Pants: I’m a big sock guy. I’ve got probably over 50 pairs of colorful and designed socks. As long as the design is the same, you’re fine. I do agree with you though. Bright on one and muted on the other is just a dumb look. It looks like you’re color blind. Also, the Y axis. Unless you’re laying them oddly.
GTO: No issue with the patterns/color combinations you propose. However, I’m struggling to picture how you would cut pants along the Z axis. I would also say Y axis. That way you end with two individual leg pant.
Pants: I think the key is that he said a pant. The x axis would turn them into shorts. The z axis would just mean you’re a sociopath.

@Doc trying to fool the Insider Information Crew by leaving out the question mark: Do I look like I’m in the Audubon society or something.
GTO: That would be cool. I heard they don’t have any speed limit over there.
Pants: You seem like a Henry David Thoreau kind of guy.

@jcyclonee asks: What are they building over there?
Pants: Some urinals.
GTO: A case against you.
Pants: This was some quality wordplay, GTO.

@Doc asks: Question from my friend Scott Stapp
What’s this liiiiiiiiiiffffeeee forrrrrrrr?
GTO: Can’t stapp, won’t stapp.
Pants: I hate that you did this, but since you’re my Brother, I’ll still accept you with arms wide open.

@jcyclonee with what may be the end of this Doc/JC line of back and forth questioning: Do you prefer black beans or refried beans with your Mexican food?
Pants: I prefer refried, but get black beans.
GTO: I prefer (in this order): Black beans, charro/borracho beans, refried beans. The only time I prefer refried beans is if I have extra tortillas left. That way I can dip them in the beans.

(Spoke too soon) @jcyclonee asks: Since Shakira is your guest writer this week, can you post the responses to these questions via You Tube? Also, you two can take the week off and all the answers can just be Shakira wiggling her hips and for once this mailbag would be truthful.
GTO: If Shakira was here with us answering mailbag questions, I’m pretty sure every answer from Pants and I would be: “...*drool*”
Pants: I’m just glad you caught my whenever, wherever joke last week.

@VeloClone asks: Is this a question? Because it certainly isn't a sentence. (In response to the “it” portion of @mdk2isu statement: “@GTO please make sure to answer the first statement as if it were a question regardless of how Doc posted. it.”)
Pants: Did I just have a stroke? Not the pocket ***** kind.
GTO: The Insider Information Mailbag Crew reserves the right to interpret all statements as questions whenever they see fit.

 

[GTO]

@BCClone asks: What kind of salad dressing is the best? I hate ranch, so I will ignore you if you say that.
GTO: I only really do Caesar salads or Thousand Island on a regular salad. Southwest Ranch is also a thing, right? I think I do that dressing as well.
Pants: Depends on the salad. Italian is my standard, but there was a steak place in Indianapolis that had a honey vinaigrette that I still dream about.

@Doc asks: To add to this, which brand is makes the best dressing? I used to have brand loyalty to one dressing maker, and then I tried their honey mussy and it was gross.
Pants: Honestly, I don’t buy salad dressing, so I couldn’t give an honest answer to this. Does Paul Newman still have it?
GTO: No preference for any particular brand. And, no Pants, Paul Newman doesn’t have it anymore. He’s dead.

@jcyclonee asks: Does anybody actually like Thousand Island dressing except for my dad? I guess it's ok on the one Big Mac a year that I have.
GTO: The fact that you felt the need to clarify one Big Mac a year, makes me think you have enough Big Macs to know all the workers at your local McDonald’s by name.
Pants: Thousand island isn’t bad in the right situation. Never was a fan of Big Macs though. Does anyone actually think Big Macs are better than double quarter pounders with cheese, though?

@Cy$ wonders: Why u no play mafia?
Pants: I’ve never understood how this game has ever been played or what it even is. GTO is this like the murder house?
GTO: You’re asking the wrong guy. I also have no idea how to play mafia. Murder house rules were probably simpler. Remember the random wheel of death from murder house? Good times. I planned to do a Murder House (Mars Colony edition) with expanded rules, but just never found the time.

@jcyclonee asks: Why does BC hate America?
GTO: I don’t even remember what this was in relation to, but I can say that BC does not hate America. He only hates American Eagle (he’s more of a Hollister type of guy).
Pants: I think it’s more the American ideal than it is America itself.

A follow up to last week’s @BCClone’s question (you get cast on naked and afraid. You get to take one thing with you, what do you take?)
@SpokaneCY replied: Other than a larger penis?
Pants: I’d wrap ham around mine to make it look bigger. Then I could eat it as a snack later on.
GTO: A larger penis is actually a disadvantage in this situation. Naked in the wilderness, you would not want large appendages that could be exposed for wild animals to bite.

@VeloClone also responds: Will this^ question be included in the mailbag?
GTO: I guess we did include it? Might I add that this mailbag is consistently chock full of penis related questions? How come you guys don’t give CW some of these?
Pants: That arrow is just pointing to GTO’s prior answer so…..no? Because it’s not a question.

@cyrocksmypants submitting a question this week: If you could replace one actor in one horror movie, who would be replaced with who and in what movie? Just ONE movie, so if there’s sequels, prequels or spin offs, the person cannot be in those.
Pants: I asked this question without anything in mind. But let’s be real, Gene Wilder as Jack Torrance would have been just as good, if not better than Nicholson.
GTO: Can’t think of any. The best horror movies already have iconic performances by the cast and that is why they are so good. No way can you replace Anthony Perkins in Psycho, or Robert Englund in a Nightmare on Elm Street, or Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween without missing the essence of the movie itself.
Pants: But…..what about Fergie instead of Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween?
GTO: You'll get your Fergie later in this mailbag. I promise.

It is still real to @Cy$: If you only had CF members and you had to make the card for Wrestlemania. What would your matches be for the following:
CF Championship
Tag Team Championships
24/7 Winner
Heavyweight Championship
Divas Championship
Cruiserweight Championship
NXT Championship
GTO: Here are my matchups:
CF Championship - handicapped match CyTwins (aka “The Carroll PTA Nightmare”) vs. every Hawkeye poster
Tag Team Championships - Cy$ & BodeClone (aka “The Pocket P***y Destroyers”) vs GTO & Pants (aka “Hit ‘em and Quit ‘em”)
24/7 Winner - Intergender match CycloneRulzzz (aka “The Midnight Marauder”) vs. Dandy (aka "the Ice Queen")
Heavyweight Championship - Cy$ (aka “B-Cups”) vs. GTO (aka “the Spanish Godzilla”)
Divas Championship - Triple threat match: Cowgirl836 (aka “The Milkmaid”) vs. JSB (aka “FredEx Overnight”) vs. Angie (aka “the Gloster Canary”) with special guest referee ImJustKCClone
Cruiserweight Championship - Cyched (aka “the Brain Freezer”) vs. jcyclonee (aka “TLDR”)
NXT Championship - CoachHines3 vs. BannedMan
Pants: CF championship: Uncytley vs CNE
Tag team: GTO and Pants (the real mailbag) vs Fitzy and CW (the fake mailbag
24/7: I forgot what this one was, so Rulzzz vs Cy$ and Rulzzz would destroy him
Heavyweight: Cy$’s man boobs vs Daphne’s boobs
Divas: Angie vs Cowgirl836. But they’d just talk about mom stuff. And then Birdy would bring baked goods for everyone.
Cruiserweight: definitely coach Hines vs Bannedman. Derek comes in with the metal chair.
NXT: is that like, next generation? Because I don’t talk to n00bs.
GTO was much more creative than me on this. My motivation kind of ran out of steam halfway through it, and I was already functioning at only like, 30%.

 

[GTO]

@Cy$ getting all litigious: When Iowa State changes CyCash to Cy$. Will I have a legal right to sue?
Pants: Did you think Clonelawman was our special guest this week or something?
GTO: After the dismissal of the lawsuit of the Cy$ vs. Iowa State University on the CyRide name case, I don’t think you have much of a shot.

@Cy$ asks: What does GTO stand for?
GTO: GTO stands for liberty, justice, indiscriminate use of the the left lane, and the right of people to choose their own adventure.
Pants: GTO also stands for a pair of comfortable shoes. And air conditioning.

@Cyched with a personal question: Why do they call the little candy bars “fun sizes?” Wouldn’t it be more fun to eat a big one?
@jcyclonee adds: And why don't they call the packaging that these little candy bars come in "fun bags"?
Pants: Big ones are only fun if you want diabetes. Also, don’t be a perv on my timeline, JC. Only I’m allowed to do that.
GTO: I think it’s actually more fun to eat a couple of fun sized bars (different kinds) than a full bar of one kind. @jcyclonee - no, the packaging should be called “it’s cold outside” or “a grower not a shower” or maybe “melts in your mouth, not in your hands (or face)”

@coolerifyoudid asks: If you could be given free tickets to any sporting event, what would9 be your top three choices? Caveats: you can't sell the tickets and they are for 2 years from now, so you won't know the competitors.
GTO: Heavyweight boxing world championship, World Cup Soccer final, Harlem Globetrotters. Runner up: Tetris World Championships.
Pants: The Super Bowl, the College football championship and probably the Masters?

@SCyclone asks: If there is one popular song that makes you recall your days on the ISU campus, what would it be?
Pants: Not because it was popular at the time, but probably House of the Rising Sun by The Animals. I remember walking around with a discman and headphones listening to that song on repeat over and over and over trying to figure out guitar patterns and such when trying to learn how to play it. (It’s not a hard song, I had only just been playing for about a year at that point.)
GTO: Inside Out by Eve 6. That song was everywhere when I was in school.

@SCyclone again: How old will Sylvester Stallone be when he finally gives up the action movies?
GTO: Hopefully not until he gives us Over the Top 2 and Demolition Man 2. I’ve been waiting a long time for those!
Pants: Gives them up? Or dies?

@jcyclonee asks: On a related note, is there anybody that doesn't like the song Bust the Move?
Pants: If you want it, you got it.
GTO: I’m guessing you mean “Bust a Move” by Young MC? That song includes the best/funniest part of any rap song ever:
“Next days function high class luncheon
Food is served and you're stone-cold munchin'
Music comes on people start to dance
But then you ate so much you nearly split your pants”
Anybody who does not like that song is no friend of mine.

@SCyclone asks: What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen used as a pizza topping?
Related question - what's the weirdest thing you've ever seen offered atop a burger?
GTO: Pizza topping - buffalo wings. That is just weird. Burger - refried beans. Not kidding. There is a place called Liberty Burger here in DFW that has a south of the border burger that is topped with tortilla strips, refried beans, and pico de gallo. Why???!!!?
Pants: So my step dad owns a restaurant and is a super stoner, so I’ve seen a ton of weird ass food combinations. But I can’t say pizza has been any weird things. I think white sauce on pizza is an abomination, but there are a lot of people that find it acceptable. On a burger, fried chicken gizzards.

@BCClone asks: When you use a restroom With three urinals and one end one is the short kids one and the other end is already occupied; do you use the one right next to the other guy or use the kids one and hope you don’t pee on your shoes?
Pants: The adult one. If some dude wants to check out my junk, have at it, man.
GTO: The kids one. I need room to spread my legs and stand in optimal peeing position (OPP).

@GTO asks: What would Solo and TLew be averaging if they played around 30min/game (and were fed on offense)?
GTO: Just going by the numbers currently, Solo averages 19.3 min/game and 9 points. O would bet he would average about 15pts/game just based on more offense being run through him lately. For TLew, he averages 5.7pts/game in 12 minutes, so I would guess another 15 points?
Pants: Three buckets of sweat.

 

[GTO]

@cyrocksmypants asks: Would you rather get $2 million dollars or be able to go back 15 years with all of the knowledge you know now, but you’d only remember the things two minutes before they happen?
Pants: This was originally just going back 15 years with your current knowledge, but I figured that was too easy because you could just bet all of your money on Super Bowls and stuff. So essentially this could just let you know specific moments in time. So if you had a family member die in a car crash, for example, maybe you could have stopped that with that two minutes of knowledge. But also, as you change history, do you start to diminish the value of what you would know? How does that change all future knowledge?

I think I’d take the money because that’s too much thinking.
GTO: I’ll take the $2 mil. Can’t think of any particular decision I’ve made in the past 15 years that could be affected 2 minutes before it happened. @Pants - I don’t think you could bet on the SuperBowl, since you would only remember how it ended 2 minutes before the final whistle. Pretty much ruins any chance of betting.

@cmjh10 asks: What is a breed of dog you want to own that you have never owned?
GTO: I don’t own a dog, but I do have two kids (nevermind, it doesn’t work the same the other way around). If I did have a dog, I would like to have a Great Pyrenees, as they seem pretty chill and not too barky.
Pants: I almost got a sheltie before we ended up getting a couple of corgis.

@cmjh10 again: You have been given an elephant, you cant get rid of it. What would you do with it?
Pants: Probably befriend it. Then charge people to ride it.
GTO: Trample my enemies. Either that or have it drop mounds of crap on their front yard and never clean after it. I mean, cleaning after it would require a shovel and a couple of hefty garbage bags. Pass.

@Cyched asks: Why am I so gassy tonight?
GTO: We’ll need a full disclosure of your Sunday and Monday diet before we can make the proper assessment.
Pants: The refried beans.

@cyclones500 saving us from Cyched’s question being the last for this week: This topic was broached briefly in “***Official Super Bowl LIV Thread***” (remember the Super Bowl?): What should be the national anthem of the U.S.?
1. The Star-Spangled Banner
2. America the Beautiful
3. America (My Country, ’Tis of Thee)
4. Other (specify)
Pants: The Star Spangled Banner is actually a good song, so I’d stay with that. But the national anthem should absolutely not be played before sporting events. It’s a stupid concept that was forced onto us through strong nationalism.
GTO: Other:

 

[GTO]

The End.
Thanks again to everyone who contributed questions for this week's mailbag and as usual to my PIC @cyrocksmypants for always giving his 30%.

Until next week!

 

[cyrocksmypants]

I’m impressed by that Fergie callback, considering we didn’t plan it.

 

[Cy$]

Didnt know you guys liked my man boobs so much. Im flattered.

 

[SCyclone]

Another classic thread, fellas. Well done. I especially like the Wrestlemania question, you guys outdid yourselves there!

 

[Cy$]

Another classic thread, fellas. Well done. I especially like the Wrestlemania question, you guys outdid yourselves there!

Best question ever Id say.

 

[Doc]

@cyrocksmypants

I hate that I did it, as well. I generally loathe all of my questions when I read them in the mailbag.

 

[Doc]

Quality mailbag. Boneless buffalo wings on pizza is intriguing. I liked OPP, "The Carroll PTA Nightmare", and the ham for snacking.

 

[Angie]

@cowgirl836 - do we take offense to this marginalization as just moms? I'm not sure.

Quality work, guys! My person from The Shining I'd replace is Shelley Duvall. I find her face oddly rat-like. Which is unkind, but it's just a nose/mouth quality. It makes her seem more shrill and less sympathetic.

 

[Sigmapolis]

Yoshi was the best in SSB and Melee.

I'd just keep popping people with eggs and running away from direct combat.

I'd rarely miss and I'd rarely take hits.

 

[jcyclonee]

Pants: I’m trying to hold back my comment about white people thinking everything is spicy.
GTO: Man, white people think everything is spicy. Make sure you load up on Naan to help soothe the heat from that plain white rice.

Not that I'm admitting that I'm white but I can usually handle spicy food better than most other white people.


GTO: The Aztecs called the feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl while the Mayans called him Kukulkan.

Although your response was educational, these horrible, nightmare-inducing monsters are what I was speaking of

GTO: The fact that you felt the need to clarify one Big Mac a year, makes me think you have enough Big Macs to know all the workers at your local McDonald’s by name.

Maybe I just like walking around McDonalds kitchens and being friendly with the staff while I don't order any food.

GTO: ...Cruiserweight Championship - Cyched (aka “the Brain Freezer”) vs. jcyclonee (aka “TLDR”)

I'm pretty sure I can put him to sleep with one question. Game Over!


Pants: GTO was much more creative than me on this. My motivation kind of ran out of steam halfway through it, and I was already functioning at only like, 30%.

Most of us were pretty distracted as soon as the girl wresting questions were out there.


GTO: I think it’s actually more fun to eat a couple of fun sized bars (different kinds) than a full bar of one kind. @jcyclonee - no, the packaging should be called “it’s cold outside” or “a grower not a shower” or maybe “melts in your mouth, not in your hands (or face)”

My packaging should probably just state that too.

 

[jcyclonee]

@cowgirl836 - do we take offense to this marginalization as just moms? I'm not sure.

Quality work, guys! My person from The Shining I'd replace is Shelley Duvall. I find her face oddly rat-like. Which is unkind, but it's just a nose/mouth quality. It makes her seem more shrill and less sympathetic.

Fight Club-wise, @cowgirl836 and you are being underestimated as moms generally are. I'll guarantee you that people would prefer to battle me than my wife.

 

[jcyclonee]

Quality mailbag. Boneless buffalo wings on pizza is intriguing. I liked OPP, "The Carroll PTA Nightmare", and the ham for snacking.

I know 4 things about Carroll.

1. Twins drives a minivan there.
2. It was on the cutting edge of FM music radio without a live DJ.
3. Nick Nurse and his former teammate Brian David (who had bad breath according to our center).
4. The Metrodome bathroom Hawkeye lady.

 

[BCClone]

I know 4 things about Carroll.

1. Twins drives a minivan there.
2. It was on the cutting edge of FM music radio without a live DJ.
3. Nick Nurse and his former teammate Brian David (who had bad breath according to our center).
4. The Metrodome bathroom Hawkeye lady.

The haluskas are from there, but number one is the most well known about Carroll.

 

[jcyclonee]

Every time I've seen the Shining it felt to me like it was missing a little something that would make it more creepy. Short orange people dancing and singing about brushing your teeth would have been perfect.

 

[Angie]

Fight Club-wise, @cowgirl836 and you are being underestimated as moms generally are. I'll guarantee you that people would prefer to battle me than my wife.

You get it! All the others need to read up on their Kipling (LINK).