Both of ours nursed until about two, same reason. I figured I could give up my autonomy for two years to meet the WHO standard, and it was a wonderful bond. I'm so glad that you guys have such a wonderful nursing relationship!
Similac formula recall
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Both of ours nursed until about two, same reason. I figured I could give up my autonomy for two years to meet the WHO standard, and it was a wonderful bond. I'm so glad that you guys have such a wonderful nursing relationship!
I do have to ask, is it more a bond that the mom develops with the child? Because I don't know if a child understands the difference between nursing and bottle feeding. Or are we saying those that don't nurse, don't have as strong of a bond with their kids as those that do, throw in along the lines that fathers will not be able to bond as well with their kids.
I've read studies that breast fed kids are supposed to be smarter than bottle fed kids. That nursed kids feel more secure throughout life and closer to their parents (when it should just be mom) than bottle fed. While I support nursing, I think there is a segment that ends up trashing moms that can't/don't nurse.
The smarter stuff is too tied up with family economic status. Minor evidence around fewer gi illnesses and ....I think it was allergies? Studies tying it to obesity (particularly if you practice paced bottle feeding and don't force feed), intelligence, and life outcomes is very very suspect and haven't been well repeated.
And yes, there can be immense shaming around not nursing....as seen from a couple comments in this thread from people who never have and never will breastfeed.
FFS. No one is saying there aren't benefits to breastfeeding, but it's not possible for every woman. FED IS BEST. Period.
I support nursing, but do question several of the studies. Because honestly, who is going to say nursing is bad for the baby and say you are a bad parent if you do? Outside of nutrition, and allergies and immunization type things that can be studied with data, most of the rest comes back to the old nature versus nurture, Before the kids were in school, I probably spent close to 33% of M-Fs with my kids. Does that mean I am closer to my kids than those we went to daycare 50 weeks a year? I don't think so. Its what we do with the kids when we have whatever time we have with them and the values and ethics we instill in them during that time.
For sure there is a bond that happens on the baby's end of nursing. Comfort nursing is a big thing with children, as is reverse cycling.
My eldest was very utilitarian about nursing. She ate when she was hungry until she was full, then was done with it. My youngest wouldn't eat during the day by bottle, so he'd be up all night nursing - this was from a young age. He comfort nursed from the day he was born, just to cuddle. He's still much more of a cuddler - he's our puppy, our daughter is a cat.
While there is a unique bond that happens with nursing than with bottle feeding, different doesn't mean better. Eye contact, cuddling, and so on are integral to the process of both in order to get the bond. I think part of what makes that mother/child bond specific in nursing is that nobody else can do that besides mom, so there's a ton of time together - if you're the only person bottle-feeding your child, I'd gather it's similar.
In addition to what cowgirl said. There are supposedly certain enzymes that help brain growth in breast milk, and things that promote antibodies. However, breast milk is low in vitamin D, while formula is not. There are certain things unique to each.
I think it's sad when people trash moms who can't or don't nurse. Just like it's sh**ty that people trash nursing moms in public or at work, or back in the 70s and 80s when it wasn't in fashion. As long as your kid is fed, how is nobody else's business. Just like circumcision, people are WAY too up in your **** about this from birth.
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Not exactly sure why breast fed kids would be smarter, guessing that is a more economic situation. Also not sure about long term bonding since my adult kids only remember snippets of things that happened before they were school age and a large part of it is big events or things we have pictures of.
And is it the attachment to the boob itself or the milk? My very limited study of five kids, the lazy nurser from the tube in his nose with formula who rarely latched and more often drank breast milk from a bottle was my ACT 36. The other four weren’t more than a point or two lower but that’s the empirical evidence I have. And I don’t think the bond is any different with any of them.
As parents, we just all need to do the best we can, love our kids, and help each when possible, and quit putting down others who make other choices.
My wife didn’t breast feed. Tried to with our first and he didn’t latch. Probably could have made it work with more time but she was exhausted from trying natural birth and then C and our son was demanding of food. We went to formula and have no qualms about it. The bonding happens with holding and showing physical warmth and attention in my eyes. Gotta do what’s right for you in your situation. No two stories are alike in the grand scheme.
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Yup. My wife told me she wanted to do formula as she had her reasons, and I said 'ok cool'. Not my decision IMO.
That is how it went between my wife and I. Both are tall, healthy, smart and seem to love us so all is good.
And no woman should catch **** for choosing to feed the child with formula. From recent experience I've learned it isn't an easy deal.
Just get the baby fed. Everything else is a nice to have
I was actually the first to hold him. They had to sew her up and get her stabilized. He was starving and pissed off and all I could do is hold him. His first thoughts were probably "this guy holds me and hugs me and says nice things but he starves the hell out of me". I was helpless while he cried. Felt pretty awful and I didnt really like that experience. Wish he could have had access sooner. He was our only kid who loved play time at 3am. We alternated feedings and when mom fed him he went right to sleep and she could go back to bed. When I fed him, I'd have him asleep in my lap, but as soon as I laid him down, his eyes would pop open and it was ON. Dad is playtime ALL NIGHT. Wife used to chuckle about it.
He was our only easy baby. The other two had colic pretty bad. Lucky for us, our middle helped us figure it out so the 3rd wasnt as bad. We ended up using alimentum which was a miracle for their colic behavior. Small can/huge expense though.
Yeah I would hold and feed when the wife was sleeping and her family is known for sleeping so there was no shortage there.
Husband held them all before me. Figure I had been holding them for months. Plus there was stitching up the episiotomy. He often fed them at night when I was pumping at work. Frequently found him with a baby on his chest, burped up milk all over his shirt, the dog at his feet and the cat on the back of the recliner, both supervising. That’s love, letting me sleep some. He’s a great dad too.
