Quitting Drinking.

[SolterraCyclone]

First props to you because you have recognized you have a problem and that’s a great first start. If you’re able to treat the disease without hitting rock bottom, you are a lucky one. Many can’t.

I went through an intervention process with my best friend. It wasn’t successful because we were unable to get him to rehab, but he got hit with some hard facts and consequences. A year later his sister called me up and said he asked her to take him to rehab. That was a win to me, and I’m not sure he does that without the intervention.

He’s been sober for over a year and a I congratulate him every time I see him.

I agree with everyone here that a support structure is crucial. Someone who can support you, but also hold you accountable too. AA works wonders but it may not be for everyone.

It’s also important to realize alcoholism is a disease. We wouldn’t blame a cancer patient for getting cancer, so we shouldn’t blame an alcoholic for having alcoholism. That doesn’t absolve alcoholics from their behavior. They are still responsible for seeking treatment, but it’s not their fault they drink heavily and cannot stop.

I wish you the best on your plan to quit drinking. I will say though, if it doesn’t work, then I would recommend your next step should be quitting cold turkey and seeking help through AA or counseling.

 

[herbicide]

It's poison, literally.

It is, and if you dig into it isn't terribly far off from smoking in terms of health hazards. It is a known carcinogen. We just don't hear about it like we do for cigarettes, for reasons that probably best belong in the cave.

 

[SolterraCyclone]

I think this is an under-emphasized point in addiction. The worst alcoholic I've been around is clearly dealing with much deeper psychological and emotional issues. They've had extended periods of sobriety, but always relapse with a vengeance. They refuse to acknowledge the deeper, darker issues and seem to think that if they just don't drink everything is fine. Well, it clearly isn't, and there isn't really any likelihood that they will ever achieve lasting sobriety without wrestling with the real/deeper demon.

100%. I could not agree more.

 

[cydnote]

hesitated responding here because I made it through and don't want to relive it. My wife, sister, and best friend had me committed. Best thing that could have happened. I was a "closet" drinker towards the end. Worked construction with a good friend and he never knew I had a problem. He would grab a 40 oz. for the ride home and I would refuse because beer didn't get me to where I wanted to be. I never drank on the road and quit going to bars to drink but killed the Black Velvet once I got home. The last few weeks I had conditioned my body to the extent I was drinking two texas fifth's every three nights and was fully functional. When I checked into rehab a full three hours after my last drink, I filled out my own paperwork and was blood tested with a BAC of 0.373--90% of the population is dead by then to put things in perspective. In my case (and maybe yours?) medical help was necessary. My doctor stated that intelligent people were harder to cure because they always tried for what they deemed their own way to deal with the problem. Forget social drinking after rehab, you have to quit. Period. I chose to not attend AA as I didn't want to be associated with "drunks" so can't comment on support groups. I'm not particularly religious so the "higher power" angle turned me off. You are the only one that is in control of what happens next. 15+ years sober. Quitting drinking won't fix any underlying problems but you won't fix them with one more drink. It's entirely up to you and good luck.

 

[carvers4math]

I have two relatives who are alcoholics so I have a limited view of your approach.

My nephew got a second DUI before he stopped. He hadn’t drank booze for a day and a half when he drove but turned out his liver wasn’t processing the booze. He was ill and a friend took him to the ER during Covid. At the ripe old age of 26, his liver was seriously damaged. He quit completely and his last trip to the gastro indicated his liver has recovered. He remains sober. Since he quit drinking, he has a stable relationship and has been promoted at work. Both were problematic while drinking.

My elderly BIL won’t stop. He has been in the ICU four times in 2024. The first time, he weighed 113. He was consuming straight whiskey and Ensure. My husband is his closest relative and drives a six hour round trip to check on him or take him to the ER again. He has one local friend to help too. He claims he is drinking less and maybe is since he hasn’t fallen passed out again for maybe two months. But some times he tells my husband not to head out to see him cause he is drunk. We have pondered civil commitment as our only option at this point but that would possible destroy one of the two decent relationships he still has.

My limited experience is tapering down eventually leads to tapering up again. They used to say wine was supposedly good for you. Now they say alcohol gives old people cancer. Used to enjoy a glass of wine twice a week. Just not worth it anymore.

 

[SolterraCyclone]

Alcohol is just the worst. It's poison, literally. Drinking it is self poisoning yourself. Both my parents, both my grandfathers, sisters...all alcoholics. Maybe I got lucky and the gene just didn't hit me, because although I partied hard in HS and College, it was easy for me to just stop. Now at 47 I happily go to social events where drinking is almost mandatory and it’s easy for me to just say "nah, I'd rather drink pop". I still have a few beers if I go watch the Clones at a buddies house or something and I can still tie one on at our boys golf outing every summer, outside of that. No booze... and it's freaking glorious. Can't imagine waking up at this age feeling hungover or needing the emotional crutch of numbing yourself. No offense to anyone, but having to numb yourself to get through a day is just straight up ***** behavior. Of course with my family history I'm probably a little harsher than I should be..

I totally understand where you are coming from. But, trying to help someone through judgment isn’t helpful. Attacking sobriety from the negative viewpoint doesn’t typically work.

That soda you drink at parties is pretty much poison too.

 

[clone4life82]

So I have struggled a bit with drinking a lot the last four years or so.

My father, grandfather, and sister were alcoholics, and my sister FINALLY beat it a couple years ago (she is 42 now). I was HARDCORE Straight Edge due to my family history until I was 21 (2017) when I bought a six pack to celebrate.

I only drank socially after that until early 2020 when I hated my job at the time so much, I ldrank on my breaks, and every night before bed.

It literally became a habit, to the point that even when I didn't crave booze, I still needed a drink to pair with a cigar. RC Cola, Sunkist, and Squirt made great substitutes for awhile, but I would still always find my way back to a bottle of whiskey to pair with my nightcap cigar every other day or so.

So a couple weeks ago, I FINALLY made the decision to quit drinking almost every night. I had made strides in the past couple years, but would always seems to "relapse" roughly once a week and down nearly a whole bottle.

These are the Texts I sent to one of my best friends who is a former, major alcoholic this past Sunday:

"So I have a plan to quit drinking everyday, and it's already paying off.

Very slowly detoxing myself, with one less drink a night. Tonight will be 7 drinks, tomorrow 6, then 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

I restarted this this past week after I relapsed HARD the night of the election and downed an entire bottle in despair.

Anyway, since Thursday alone (which was 12 drinks), my body is responding well, and I'm sleeping better, and waking up feeling fine as my body is adjusting nicely the the gradual decrease in alcohol.

If you're curious, I supposedly downed an entire bottle last Tuesday (I swore I went to bed with 1/3 left, but I couldn't find the bottle the next day, so I'm just assuming I downed the whole thing. That's 16 drinks).

Wednesday was 14 drinks. Thursday was 12, Friday was 9 or 10, and last night was 8. I wish I could go cold turkey (I have craved a drink maybe once in the past week), and I really want to, but I don't want to die. Hahahaha.

But this slow process is working, and I already am feeling much better."

When I say "I don't want to die" it's because I had a couple brief seizures my first night in my new house.


This is another text I sent the same friend on October 1:

"So I had my first seizure last night.

I was laying on my side half asleep, and then my body just started flopping around like I was coughing really heavily, but not coughing. You know what I mean?

It lasted for about 5 - 10 seconds, then happened again about 30 seconds later.

I was like "What just happened? I think I just had a seizure?!"

I'm not surprised though, I essentially went straight cold turkey last night."

Anyway, it feels good to let this out there to you all whom I feel I can trust, and I am curious about other stories (if you are comfortable sharing) that helped beat the habit.

Again, the slow process of one less drink a night has been working great for me as I slowly detox myself.

What worked for you?

I love you all.

Glad you are tackling this! Keep up the hard work! Don’t forget that a lot of times when we/people check out with alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, you name it, there is a mental/emotional feeling that we’re running from (seeing the reaction to the election in your post?). It helps to work through those emotions in healthy ways before our brains tell us we need to escape back into our old ways. Identify those potential trigger points and Work through those tough emotions in healthy ways before they build up and your brain goes into a mode of telling you need a safe space (which it was accustomed to doing with alcohol).

 

[Cyched]

I’m a social drinker who enjoys having a drink

But if you made me give up one of alcohol or coffee, I’d give up alcohol and it wouldn’t be a particularly difficult decision.

Drink more coffee. Your road to recovery starts today.

https://www.reuters.com/article/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/drinking-more-coffee-may-undo-liver-damage-from-booze-idUSKCN0VR2JM/

 

[cyfanatic]

I’m a social drinker who enjoys having a drink

But if you made me give up one of alcohol or coffee, I’d give up alcohol and it wouldn’t be a particularly difficult decision.

Drink more coffee. Your road to recovery starts today.

https://www.reuters.com/article/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/drinking-more-coffee-may-undo-liver-damage-from-booze-idUSKCN0VR2JM/

Similar here...but my vice is Dt Mt Dew! Just can't shake it...if someone told me I had to give up beer (or any alcohol) I would be fine with that no worries...but if I was told I had to give up Dt Mt Dew...it would be a struggle. Society makes it hard to beat addictions of all sorts! Nothing but positive vibes to the OP and others fighting that situation!

 

[snowcraig2.0]

I love my beer and whiskey, as well as a good bloody mary.

However, I am pretty fortunate, I think, in that when I am in a negative emotional state, I literally do not want alcohol at all. I tend to just be a good mood kind of drinker. Its pretty normal for me to go several days in a row without drinking, so I feel bad for those who are stuck in a every day pattern.

One thing I might suggest is making the switch to THC drinks. My wife rarely drinks alcohol anymore, only THC. She's found that to be immensely beneficial due to the lack of hangover and other bad side effects of alcohol.

 

[Goose]

I love my beer and whiskey, as well as a good bloody mary.

However, I am pretty fortunate, I think, in that when I am in a negative emotional state, I literally do not want alcohol at all. I tend to just be a good mood kind of drinker. Its pretty normal for me to go several days in a row without drinking, so I feel bad for those who are stuck in a every day pattern.

One thing I might suggest is making the switch to THC drinks. My wife rarely drinks alcohol anymore, only THC. She's found that to be immensely beneficial due to the lack of hangover and other bad side effects of alcohol.

IMO-THC can be helpful for people in recovery, but isn't the solution.

Replacing the alcohol with another substance, isn't getting to the root cause of the problem and just shifts the focus. Having to feel your feelings and finding ways to cope with life without alcohol is so important.

 

[Al_4_State]

I love my beer and whiskey, as well as a good bloody mary.

However, I am pretty fortunate, I think, in that when I am in a negative emotional state, I literally do not want alcohol at all. I tend to just be a good mood kind of drinker. Its pretty normal for me to go several days in a row without drinking, so I feel bad for those who are stuck in a every day pattern.

One thing I might suggest is making the switch to THC drinks. My wife rarely drinks alcohol anymore, only THC. She's found that to be immensely beneficial due to the lack of hangover and other bad side effects of alcohol.

You sound pretty similar to me.

I also use THC drinks to replace alcohol in some settings - Friday night happy hour in particular, as I usually like to get up early on Saturdays and do a big outdoor adventure/work out. But I don't know that THC is something I'd recommend to people with serious addiction issues. Yes, it's physically harmless, but I see no way in which it's better mentally and emotionally for people who are already struggling with serious mental health issues. It's just taking one vice and replacing it with a less physically harmful one.

I think once someone gets their head back on straight, it's a less dangerous method for inebriation but it's not a silver bullet.

 

[ClonesFTW]

I drink socially but generally hold the opinion that in 20-30 years we will look back at it like we do now with smoking.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

Please please please talk to your primary care physician about what you are doing. People die from trying to detox from alcohol on their own especially if they try to go cold turkey. Ideally your plan should help alleviate that to a degree but the fact that you are having seizure like symptoms means you might not be able to do this without professional help or professional supervision.

If you don’t talk to a physician please set check in times with your family/friends and keep your phone on you at all times. Detoxing from alcohol is extremely dangerous depending on your dependence/regular consumption.

Some other good advice already in this thread, and remember that relapse (if it happens) is not failure it’s just another step on the road to recovery.

If you need to take time for treatment SUD is covered under FMLA and is a protected status under the ADA.

 

[JP4CY]

I'd like to give you all props.

This is a good thread. Many of us may have differences on here for a wide variety of reasons but topics like this, where we can support each other, are always a great read.

 

[JP4CY]

Something I've done is to really ramp down on drinking when I'm flying/traveling.
I noticed a while back i don't drink enough water when I'm away from home or the office and all that booze can really dry me out.

 

[Al_4_State]

I drink socially but generally hold the opinion that in 20-30 years we will look back at it like we do now with smoking.

That's an increasingly popular opinion, but I just don't see it. Smoking doesn't really have the social component to it's use that alcohol does. Most people who drink do it as part of a social setting with other people, and then go home and not drink in their daily lives.

Almost no one smokes like this. Nicotine is a lot more addictive than alcohol, and really doesn't have any kind of social connection benefit to it. Smoking also creates an immediate health risk/general annoyance to the people in your physical proximity in a way that alcohol just doesn't.

I think people will continue to drink less, and problem/daily drinking will decrease, but I don't see it being viewed the way smoking is.

 

[JM4CY]

Something I've done is to really ramp down on drinking when I'm flying/traveling.
I noticed a while back i don't drink enough water when I'm away from home or the office and all that booze can really dry me out.

Don't want go in dry, especially when your going to Bangkok.

 

[JP4CY]

Don't want go in dry, especially when your going to Bangkok.

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but their pearls ain't free

 

[ISU_Guy]

I drink socially but generally hold the opinion that in 20-30 years we will look back at it like we do now with smoking.

this is a becoming a very popular take and I agree with you on the smoking comment. we are seeing an uptick in the sober curious and NA type drinks in the younger generation.
smoking versus nicotine/vaping is a whole other debate.