Quitting Drinking.

[BWRhasnoAC]

Definitely go to AA. If you're an alcoholic you need the support structure to get through it. I've seen many people in my life struggle with drinking. One of my best friends died at 38 from kidney failure. He had water on the liver and was told he could never drink again because he can't process it. He was cold turkey for a few years and found a bottle under his couch one day and said 'what the hell'. Four days later he was dead. Take it very seriously.

 

[Gerbs]

I quit. I read Alan Carr's "Quit Drinking WIthout Willpower" and "the Naked Mind". I felt kind of cheesy buying them but it worked for me. I tried years of drinking moderation or 30 day sober things and that never worked bc I always knew I'd go back to drinking. When i finally decided I'm done for good and changed that mindset it worked for me. Good luck man. If I can do it then anyone can.

 

[Cyched]

Recognizing you have a problem and being open about it is a great first step. All the kudos to you for posting this.

Will echo what others said and recommend you seek AA/professional help, especially with your family history .

 

[Bestaluckcy]

Only thing I might add is reward yourself for meeting your goal. Maybe you take some money you saved on alcohol, and go to a movie or buy yourself a candy bar for not messing up this week. Just don’t use alcohol for the reward.

 

[mustangcy]

Alcohol is just the worst. It's poison, literally. Drinking it is self poisoning yourself. Both my parents, both my grandfathers, sisters...all alcoholics. Maybe I got lucky and the gene just didn't hit me, because although I partied hard in HS and College, it was easy for me to just stop. Now at 47 I happily go to social events where drinking is almost mandatory and its easy for me to just say "nah, I'd rather drink pop". I still have a few beers if I go watch the Clones at a buddies house or something and I can still tie one on at our boys golf outing every summer, outside of that. No booze... and it's freaking glorious. Can't imagine waking up at this age feeling hungover or needing the emotional crutch of numbing yourself. No offense to anyone, but having to numb yourself to get through a day is just straight up ***** behavior. Of course with my family history I'm probably a little harsher than I should be..

 

[Clonefan32]

Alcohol is just the worst. It's poison, literally. Drinking it is self poisoning yourself. Both my parents, both my grandfathers, sisters...all alcoholics. Maybe I got lucky and the gene just didn't hit me, because although I partied hard in HS and College, it was easy for me to just stop. Now at 47 I happily go to social events where drinking is almost mandatory and its easy for me to just say "nah, I'd rather drink pop". I still have a few beers if I go watch the Clones at a buddies house or something and I can still tie one on at our boys golf outing every summer, outside of that. No booze... and it's freaking glorious. Can't imagine waking up at this age feeling hungover or needing the emotional crutch of numbing yourself. No offense to anyone, but having to numb yourself to get through a day is just straight up ***** behavior. Of course with my family history I'm probably a little harsher than I should be..

I'll have a few drinks at night maybe 2-3 times a week. By the time I get home most nights I'm just to tired to even want a drink. I've gotten into collecting whiskey but don't drink it very often, and when I do it's a small pour before bed.

But this last weekend we had an event and a group of us wound up at the bar. I drank more than I typically would but wasn't hammered by any means. But I'm not kidding you, my body didn't feel right of the next 2 days. I'd nearly forgotten the misery of a hangover, and I have no idea how anyone can endure that on a regular basis.

 

[Goose]

Please consult with your doctor, and let them know your plan. Even though you are trying to ween yourself off, medical assistance is almost always recommended.

Time, patience, persistence, and performance are your greatest allies. I am going on 2 1/2 years in recovery and it is the best life decision I have ever made. I had finally hit what I call my "rock bottom' and had enough. I went to a rehab facility for 35 days and haven't looked back since.

The recovery community is amazing, and full of support. AA isn't the only option. Smart Recovery has worked great for me, but I know others have benefited from Celebrate Recovery, AA and other support groups.

Proud of you!

 

[KnappShack]

Alcohol is just the worst. It's poison, literally. Drinking it is self poisoning yourself. Both my parents, both my grandfathers, sisters...all alcoholics. Maybe I got lucky and the gene just didn't hit me, because although I partied hard in HS and College, it was easy for me to just stop. Now at 47 I happily go to social events where drinking is almost mandatory and its easy for me to just say "nah, I'd rather drink pop". I still have a few beers if I go watch the Clones at a buddies house or something and I can still tie one on at our boys golf outing every summer, outside of that. No booze... and it's freaking glorious. Can't imagine waking up at this age feeling hungover or needing the emotional crutch of numbing yourself. No offense to anyone, but having to numb yourself to get through a day is just straight up ***** behavior. Of course with my family history I'm probably a little harsher than I should be..

I'm convinced that I have an intolerance to booze. The hangover symptoms can happen with very few drinks.

In the past I'd plow through or go hair of the dog, but today it's so obvious. My body was telling me to cool it and I wasn't listening

Best of luck to the OP. Life is a trip, man

 

[mj4cy]

Alcohol is just the worst. It's poison, literally. Drinking it is self poisoning yourself. Both my parents, both my grandfathers, sisters...all alcoholics. Maybe I got lucky and the gene just didn't hit me, because although I partied hard in HS and College, it was easy for me to just stop. Now at 47 I happily go to social events where drinking is almost mandatory and its easy for me to just say "nah, I'd rather drink pop". I still have a few beers if I go watch the Clones at a buddies house or something and I can still tie one on at our boys golf outing every summer, outside of that. No booze... and it's freaking glorious. Can't imagine waking up at this age feeling hungover or needing the emotional crutch of numbing yourself. No offense to anyone, but having to numb yourself to get through a day is just straight up ***** behavior. Of course with my family history I'm probably a little harsher than I should be..

Certainly have felt that way before....but after firsthand seeing that its the disease taking over, it helped me gain a little compassion. Can't help it if someone is an alcoholic, but they can help doing things like going to AA, being open/honest about it, and learning ways to cope with it. It's a freaking struggle but can be done. I think the key is to figure out what in someone's life is the root cause that they need that escape to drink. I enjoy my drinks but seeing as I just hit 40, and am trying to avoid the Dad bod shape in wanting to stay active, I'm cutting back to where its more of a treat vs the norm.

I do golf better with a beer or two in me though....or maybe I just think I do.

 

[ajspatio19]

Only thing I might add is reward yourself for meeting your goal. Maybe you take some money you saved on alcohol, and go to a movie or buy yourself a candy bar for not messing up this week. Just don’t use alcohol for the reward.

I think this is a great idea. Also by doing his you might realize just how much money you are saving by quitting drinking which in my mind would just be an additional motivator for continuing your sobriety.

 

[ScottyP]

There is definitely a genetic component to alcoholism. There is a gene that some people have that makes them have a high chance of alcoholism. If a person with that has that gene, they have an 80% chance of alcoholism if they have just one drink.

Please take this seriously and do everything you can to get all of the help you can get. (AA, counseling, etc.) You are already at a good start by admitting your problem. Don't half-a** this.

 

[cyclone1209]

So I have struggled a bit with drinking a lot the last four years or so.

My father, grandfather, and sister were alcoholics, and my sister FINALLY beat it a couple years ago (she is 42 now). I was HARDCORE Straight Edge due to my family history until I was 21 (2017) when I bought a six pack to celebrate.

I only drank socially after that until early 2020 when I hated my job at the time so much, I ldrank on my breaks, and every night before bed.

It literally became a habit, to the point that even when I didn't crave booze, I still needed a drink to pair with a cigar. RC Cola, Sunkist, and Squirt made great substitutes for awhile, but I would still always find my way back to a bottle of whiskey to pair with my nightcap cigar every other day or so.

So a couple weeks ago, I FINALLY made the decision to quit drinking almost every night. I had made strides in the past couple years, but would always seems to "relapse" roughly once a week and down nearly a whole bottle.

These are the Texts I sent to one of my best friends who is a former, major alcoholic this past Sunday:

"So I have a plan to quit drinking everyday, and it's already paying off.

Very slowly detoxing myself, with one less drink a night. Tonight will be 7 drinks, tomorrow 6, then 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

I restarted this this past week after I relapsed HARD the night of the election and downed an entire bottle in despair.

Anyway, since Thursday alone (which was 12 drinks), my body is responding well, and I'm sleeping better, and waking up feeling fine as my body is adjusting nicely the the gradual decrease in alcohol.

If you're curious, I supposedly downed an entire bottle last Tuesday (I swore I went to bed with 1/3 left, but I couldn't find the bottle the next day, so I'm just assuming I downed the whole thing. That's 16 drinks).

Wednesday was 14 drinks. Thursday was 12, Friday was 9 or 10, and last night was 8. I wish I could go cold turkey (I have craved a drink maybe once in the past week), and I really want to, but I don't want to die. Hahahaha.

But this slow process is working, and I already am feeling much better."

When I say "I don't want to die" it's because I had a couple brief seizures my first night in my new house.


This is another text I sent the same friend on October 1:

"So I had my first seizure last night.

I was laying on my side half asleep, and then my body just started flopping around like I was coughing really heavily, but not coughing. You know what I mean?

It lasted for about 5 - 10 seconds, then happened again about 30 seconds later.

I was like "What just happened? I think I just had a seizure?!"

I'm not surprised though, I essentially went straight cold turkey last night."

Anyway, it feels good to let this out there to you all whom I feel I can trust, and I am curious about other stories (if you are comfortable sharing) that helped beat the habit.

Again, the slow process of one less drink a night has been working great for me as I slowly detox myself.

What worked for you?

I love you all.

Sent you a private message, this is more manageable when you don't undertake it alone. Send me a text / call.

 

[Drew0311]

So I have struggled a bit with drinking a lot the last four years or so.

My father, grandfather, and sister were alcoholics, and my sister FINALLY beat it a couple years ago (she is 42 now). I was HARDCORE Straight Edge due to my family history until I was 21 (2017) when I bought a six pack to celebrate.

I only drank socially after that until early 2020 when I hated my job at the time so much, I ldrank on my breaks, and every night before bed.

It literally became a habit, to the point that even when I didn't crave booze, I still needed a drink to pair with a cigar. RC Cola, Sunkist, and Squirt made great substitutes for awhile, but I would still always find my way back to a bottle of whiskey to pair with my nightcap cigar every other day or so.

So a couple weeks ago, I FINALLY made the decision to quit drinking almost every night. I had made strides in the past couple years, but would always seems to "relapse" roughly once a week and down nearly a whole bottle.

These are the Texts I sent to one of my best friends who is a former, major alcoholic this past Sunday:

"So I have a plan to quit drinking everyday, and it's already paying off.

Very slowly detoxing myself, with one less drink a night. Tonight will be 7 drinks, tomorrow 6, then 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

I restarted this this past week after I relapsed HARD the night of the election and downed an entire bottle in despair.

Anyway, since Thursday alone (which was 12 drinks), my body is responding well, and I'm sleeping better, and waking up feeling fine as my body is adjusting nicely the the gradual decrease in alcohol.

If you're curious, I supposedly downed an entire bottle last Tuesday (I swore I went to bed with 1/3 left, but I couldn't find the bottle the next day, so I'm just assuming I downed the whole thing. That's 16 drinks).

Wednesday was 14 drinks. Thursday was 12, Friday was 9 or 10, and last night was 8. I wish I could go cold turkey (I have craved a drink maybe once in the past week), and I really want to, but I don't want to die. Hahahaha.

But this slow process is working, and I already am feeling much better."

When I say "I don't want to die" it's because I had a couple brief seizures my first night in my new house.


This is another text I sent the same friend on October 1:

"So I had my first seizure last night.

I was laying on my side half asleep, and then my body just started flopping around like I was coughing really heavily, but not coughing. You know what I mean?

It lasted for about 5 - 10 seconds, then happened again about 30 seconds later.

I was like "What just happened? I think I just had a seizure?!"

I'm not surprised though, I essentially went straight cold turkey last night."

Anyway, it feels good to let this out there to you all whom I feel I can trust, and I am curious about other stories (if you are comfortable sharing) that helped beat the habit.

Again, the slow process of one less drink a night has been working great for me as I slowly detox myself.

What worked for you?

I love you all.

Not saying this to be a jerk or be mean, however, I think you need help. I think you might want to look into rehab. You have a great attitude and it appears you know that their is a problem. That is the good part. You might want to look into your employers health plan to see if they cover anything. It's not a bad thing to admit defeat. Its actually a good thing in this case. Take if for what it's worth but, this type of stuff is almost impossible to beat on your own. If you do, more power to you and thats great. However, I would really suggest talking to a professional to get help.

 

[cowgirl836]

So I have struggled a bit with drinking a lot the last four years or so.

My father, grandfather, and sister were alcoholics, and my sister FINALLY beat it a couple years ago (she is 42 now). I was HARDCORE Straight Edge due to my family history until I was 21 (2017) when I bought a six pack to celebrate.

I only drank socially after that until early 2020 when I hated my job at the time so much, I ldrank on my breaks, and every night before bed.

It literally became a habit, to the point that even when I didn't crave booze, I still needed a drink to pair with a cigar. RC Cola, Sunkist, and Squirt made great substitutes for awhile, but I would still always find my way back to a bottle of whiskey to pair with my nightcap cigar every other day or so.

So a couple weeks ago, I FINALLY made the decision to quit drinking almost every night. I had made strides in the past couple years, but would always seems to "relapse" roughly once a week and down nearly a whole bottle.

These are the Texts I sent to one of my best friends who is a former, major alcoholic this past Sunday:

"So I have a plan to quit drinking everyday, and it's already paying off.

Very slowly detoxing myself, with one less drink a night. Tonight will be 7 drinks, tomorrow 6, then 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

I restarted this this past week after I relapsed HARD the night of the election and downed an entire bottle in despair.

Anyway, since Thursday alone (which was 12 drinks), my body is responding well, and I'm sleeping better, and waking up feeling fine as my body is adjusting nicely the the gradual decrease in alcohol.

If you're curious, I supposedly downed an entire bottle last Tuesday (I swore I went to bed with 1/3 left, but I couldn't find the bottle the next day, so I'm just assuming I downed the whole thing. That's 16 drinks).

Wednesday was 14 drinks. Thursday was 12, Friday was 9 or 10, and last night was 8. I wish I could go cold turkey (I have craved a drink maybe once in the past week), and I really want to, but I don't want to die. Hahahaha.

But this slow process is working, and I already am feeling much better."

When I say "I don't want to die" it's because I had a couple brief seizures my first night in my new house.


This is another text I sent the same friend on October 1:

"So I had my first seizure last night.

I was laying on my side half asleep, and then my body just started flopping around like I was coughing really heavily, but not coughing. You know what I mean?

It lasted for about 5 - 10 seconds, then happened again about 30 seconds later.

I was like "What just happened? I think I just had a seizure?!"

I'm not surprised though, I essentially went straight cold turkey last night."

Anyway, it feels good to let this out there to you all whom I feel I can trust, and I am curious about other stories (if you are comfortable sharing) that helped beat the habit.

Again, the slow process of one less drink a night has been working great for me as I slowly detox myself.

What worked for you?

I love you all.

I'm sure this was hard to share so kudos to you. I also used to drink probably more than I should and I've just about quit entirely at this point. And it's not a battle or a fight everyday. I just don't want it. I'm going to go against conventional advice here and recommend this book. I realize you aren't a woman but I think a lot of people could benefit from this approach on MANY things. She points out that alcohol is addictive and toxic. Period. People who struggle more with drinking are not somehow weaker or lacking willpower. Alcohol is damaging to everyone - some people notice it more than others. Her approach is not AA's cold turkey and lifelong willpower. She views going sober as a practice. Learning a new skill. Just like riding a bike. Sometimes you may fall. Sometimes you only go 10 ft before you start over. This idea changed so much in my brain because I thought - like AA- it's all or nothing and if you have a single drink after you "quit", it's a relapse and you start over. No. You're practicing. You're getting better. I think the cold turkey thing is almost like a really strict diet where then it becomes all you think about - you go hard the last day before you start the diet - and then if you slip at all, you go to the max because you feel you've ruined your progress anyway. And I think that's just a really damaging, unhealthy mindset.

Switching out to mocktails and pop helped quite a bit for me because I found was that I didn't really crave the alcohol, I liked the routine and what it signaled. Meant nobody needed me and I had time to myself. But it really started because of that book and the way it reframed drinking and reducing drinking in my head.

https://a.co/d/1ElKZdG

Though I'd also recommend seeing a doctor to make sure everything else is ok since you're having some concerning physical symptoms.

Good luck.

 

[Al_4_State]

Alcohol is just the worst. It's poison, literally. Drinking it is self poisoning yourself. Both my parents, both my grandfathers, sisters...all alcoholics. Maybe I got lucky and the gene just didn't hit me, because although I partied hard in HS and College, it was easy for me to just stop. Now at 47 I happily go to social events where drinking is almost mandatory and its easy for me to just say "nah, I'd rather drink pop". I still have a few beers if I go watch the Clones at a buddies house or something and I can still tie one on at our boys golf outing every summer, outside of that. No booze... and it's freaking glorious. Can't imagine waking up at this age feeling hungover or needing the emotional crutch of numbing yourself. No offense to anyone, but having to numb yourself to get through a day is just straight up ***** behavior. Of course with my family history I'm probably a little harsher than I should be..

Alcohol is strange. I have no doubt that in my family and in the bulk of my friend group, the social lubricant effect has socially, emotionally, and spiritually outweighed the physical downsides. I don't have anyone in my near extended family (grandparents on down) who has had a serious alcohol problem, but almost everyone likes to drink and is known to drink quite a bit when getting together. I didn't grow up around seeing people who used alcohol to numb their pain and escape their miserable normal life, I grew up around people who were usually emotionally guarded that used it in a celebratory fashion to make it easier to let their guards down and connect to the people around them on a more honest and comfortable level.

I also have seen a lot of people where it just absolutely ruined their lives. It was truly a crippling addiction that they couldn't get through a day without it, and abused it to the point where they were physically dependent upon it. Where they were never capable of attending to their duties in life because they were literally always drunk. Where they got behind the wheel in a state where they could barely walk, let alone safely operate a vehicle. It ruled/rules their life and is driving them into terrible health, a miserable existence, and an early grave.

I went through a phase about a decade ago where I started using it to cope with stress and some personal disappointments. Thanks to my wife pointing it out, I caught on pretty quick that I was starting to abuse alcohol and headed down a bad road. I quit drinking for a month or two and kind of recalibrated my relationship with booze. I still drink, but it's much less than in my late teens and 20's. My work schedule 3 months out of the year leaves no room for drinking, and during the week I just don't have the time or desire for it. I'd rather be fresh for work, get my exercise in, and spend time with my daughter - being present in the moment. I still drink on the weekend outside of those 3 months, but I mix in a lot of NA beers and seltzer waters nowadays, and tying one on is something that's basically planned in advance and isolated to a weekend with my buddies. During the week, I enjoy NAs and occasionally 1 or 2 like during an ISU basketball game. It seems to work for me.

Booze isn't the same for everyone, bottom line. No drug is. I think the OP is probably in a spot where they need to permanently quit. It takes that hold on some folks. That doesn't mean alcohol is the devil for everyone and has no purpose or benefit either. YMMV.

 

[ClonesFTW]

Gum and pushups.

Not an alcoholic but I have given up other very addictive things - the trick for me was everytime I had a "craving" I would chew gum and/or do pushups until it was gone. Probably won't work for everyone - but certainly worked for me.

 

[Cyhig]

Had a couple family members who were alcoholics. Surround yourself with a great support network. Feel free to use us as your support.

You're off to a great start. Keep it up!

 

[Goose]

Not saying this to be a jerk or be mean, however, I think you need help. I think you might want to look into rehab. You have a great attitude and it appears you know that their is a problem. That is the good part. You might want to look into your employers health plan to see if they cover anything. It's not a bad thing to admit defeat. Its actually a good thing in this case. Take if for what it's worth but, this type of stuff is almost impossible to beat on your own. If you do, more power to you and thats great. However, I would really suggest talking to a professional to get help.

Rehab may seem like its a big undertaking, but it is 100% worth it. Gives you the opportunity to get all of the alcohol out of your system in a safe space with support from others.
It gives you time to focus on yourself, and start planning a future life without alcohol. I distinctly remember when I was about a week into rehab, that I gained "mental clarity" for the first time in so long. I was actually planning for the future, which was so different from how I had been living.
Alcohol is the problem, but finding the root cause of why you are drinking and adjusting is so pivotal.

You have already shown a lot of courage by admitting you have a problem, but I can't recommend rehab enough if you are serious about change.

 

[Al_4_State]

Rehab may seem like its a big undertaking, but it is 100% worth it. Gives you the opportunity to get all of the alcohol out of your system in a safe space with support from others.
It gives you time to focus on yourself, and start planning a future life without alcohol. I distinctly remember when I was about a week into rehab, that I gained "mental clarity" for the first time in so long. I was actually planning for the future, which was so different from how I had been living.
Alcohol is the problem, but finding the root cause of why you are drinking and adjusting is so pivotal.

You have already shown a lot of courage by admitting you have a problem, but I can't recommend rehab enough if you are serious about change.

I think this is an under-emphasized point in addiction. The worst alcoholic I've been around is clearly dealing with much deeper psychological and emotional issues. They've had extended periods of sobriety, but always relapse with a vengeance. They refuse to acknowledge the deeper, darker issues and seem to think that if they just don't drink everything is fine. Well, it clearly isn't, and there isn't really any likelihood that they will ever achieve lasting sobriety without wrestling with the real/deeper demon.

 

[JM4CY]

I think this is an under-emphasized point in addiction. The worst alcoholic I've been around is clearly dealing with much deeper psychological and emotional issues. They've had extended periods of sobriety, but always relapse with a vengeance. They refuse to acknowledge the deeper, darker issues and seem to think that if they just don't drink everything is fine. Well, it clearly isn't, and there isn't really any likelihood that they will ever achieve lasting sobriety without wrestling with the real/deeper demon.

I don't think this could be emphasized enough