Nebraska Jokes - Who's got 'em?
- Thread starter colbycheese
- Start date
What's the best thing to come out of NE?
Most Nebraskan's will respond "Tommy Frazier".
Calmly remind them it's I-80
Most Nebraskan's will respond "Tommy Frazier".
Calmly remind them it's I-80
What was the joke after last year's win about how to cook a cornhusker (or something) ....turn it over 8 times and some other stuff is in the punch line.
Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Nebraska library? Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours
A Husker fan walks into a hardware store and asks the clerk for something to cut down trees faster. The clerk hands the fan a chainsaw, and after paying for it, the fan walks out the store with the saw. Some days later, the Husker fan comes back with the chainsaw and angrily asks for his money back. The clerk asks the fan to demonstrate what is the issue about the saw. The Husker fan goes over to a piece of firewood, places the blade on the log and starts moving the saw back and forth. The clerk calmly walks over to the Husker fan and pulls the saw's starter cord...
A kindergarten teacher explains to her class that she is a Husker. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Huskers too. No one really knows what a Husker is, but wanting to be like their teacher their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not a Husker."
"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"Why, I'm a proud ISU Cyclone," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Cyclone.
"Well, my mom and dad are Cyclones, so I'm a Cyclone too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
"Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Husker."
"Because I'm not a Husker."
"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"Why, I'm a proud ISU Cyclone," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Cyclone.
"Well, my mom and dad are Cyclones, so I'm a Cyclone too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
"Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Husker."
A Texas fan and a Nebraska fan were driving along when all of a sudden the Texas fan slams on the brakes.
There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Texas fan said "We Texans never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep.
Then he says to the Nebraska fan, "Your turn"...
And the Nebraska fan bends over and sticks his head in the fence.
There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Texas fan said "We Texans never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep.
Then he says to the Nebraska fan, "Your turn"...
And the Nebraska fan bends over and sticks his head in the fence.
Breaking News!!!!
Nebraska Football Coach Bo Pelini will only dress 10 players for the ISU/NU game.
The rest can actually dress themselves!
Nebraska Football Coach Bo Pelini will only dress 10 players for the ISU/NU game.
The rest can actually dress themselves!
Colorado and Nebraska have decided to merge into one state. Nebraskans gain the mountains, and Colorado gets a football team.
A Husker fan, a Hawkeye fan and a Cyclone fan are all standing at urinals. The Hawkeye fan finishes and goes to wash his hands, washing thouroughly all the way up to his elbows and drying off with half of the paper towels. He looks at the other two guys and says "Hawkeye fans know how to be very thorough and clean."
The Husker fan finishes and goes to wash his hands, washing only his fingertips with a trickle of water, then drying them with a half of a paper towel. "Husker fans know how to not be so wasteful" he proclaims to the other two.
The Cyclone fan finishes and walks right for the door explaining "Cyclone fans know how to not **** on our hands."
The Husker fan finishes and goes to wash his hands, washing only his fingertips with a trickle of water, then drying them with a half of a paper towel. "Husker fans know how to not be so wasteful" he proclaims to the other two.
The Cyclone fan finishes and walks right for the door explaining "Cyclone fans know how to not **** on our hands."
