Nebraska Jokes - Who's got 'em?

[colbycheese]

I have several Huskers in the family and I need some jokes to throw around leading up to the game. Tell me your best Husker jokes.

I'll start:

Why did Nebraska join the Big 10?

Because the Huskers couldn't count to 10 either!

 

[Cyched]

A man fell in love with the girl of his dreams. They were perfect for each other, except for one minor flaw: She was a Hawkeye and he was a Cyclone. He decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and become a Hawkeye fan.

He went to the doctor and asked if there was an easy way to do this. The doctor replied, "Yes, it's a very simple procedure. What we do is go in and remove half your brain. When you wake up, you will be a Hawkeye fan."

The man agrees, and the next week goes into surgery. After he wakes up the doctor comes up to him concerned. "Sir, I apologize, but there was a mix-up with the scalpel. Instead of removing half your brain we removed 3/4 of it. How do you feel?"

The man sat up, looked around, and said "GO HUSKERS!"

 

[chuckd4735]

I heard this one on the Murph and Andy show, and it was good!



What did the Husker female say after sex?



Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!

 

[Mr Janny]

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska?

Because if it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called the "teethbrush."

 

[Mr Janny]

How many Nebraska students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, and they get four credits for it.

 

[frontrangeclone]

hey hey! I got one, it's great...

what does the "N" on the Nebraska helmet stand for??

Just Kidding. That has to be one of the most tired jokes in ISU rival history next to "what do Iowa State and Iowa fans have in common?"

 

[Cyched]

Why do they not serve ice in drinks at Husker games anymore?

The student who knew the recipe graduated

 

[Mr Janny]

A female ISU graduate is on an airplane. A male passenger sits next to her, and immediately begins to shamelessly hit on her. This goes on for half the flight. Finally, during a lull in the conversation, the girl says, "So, you graduated from Nebraska, huh?"

The man replies in a surprised voice, "Yes, yes I did! How did you know? Was it my wit? My sophistication? My savior faire?"

"Nope," the girl says. "I saw your class ring while you were picking your nose."

 

[weR138]

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska?

Because if it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called the "teethbrush."

To be fair, this is Missouri.



What do you get when you have a family of four husker fans around the table?...

















A full set of teeth!

 

[Jeffreyisu]

A female ISU graduate is on an airplane. A male passenger sits next to her, and immediately begins to shamelessly hit on her. This goes on for half the flight. Finally, during a lull in the conversation, the girl says, "So, you graduated from Nebraska, huh?"

The man replies in a surprised voice, "Yes, yes I did! How did you know? Was it my wit? My sophistication? My savior faire?"

"Nope," the girl says. "I saw your class ring while you were picking your nose."

LOL, no way that's a joke, got to be a true story:twitcy:

 

[colbycheese]

A Texas fan, a Nebraska fan, and an Iowa State fan were out riding horses one day. At one point, the Texas fan pulled out a bottle of expensive bourbon, took a long swig, threw the bottle to the ground, pulled out a pistol and shot it.

"What are you doing?" asked the Nebraska fan. "That was perfectly good whiskey."
"In Texas, we have more whiskey than we need," said the Longhorn fan, "And bottles are cheap."

They rode along for a while, and the Nebraska fan was thinking. Then he pulled out a bottle of champagne, opened it, took a swig, threw down the bottle, pulled out his pistol and shot the bottle.
"What are you doing?" asked the Cyclone fan. "That was perfectly good champagne."
"In Nebraska," said the Husker fan, "We have more champagne than we need, and the bottles are cheap."

They rode along for a while, and then the Cyclone fan pulled out a bottle of beer, drank the whole thing, put the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulled out his pistol and shot the Nebraska fan.
"What are you doing?" asked the Texas fan.

"In Iowa, " replied the Cyclone fan, "we have more Husker fans than we need, but bottles are worth a nickel a piece."

 

[colbycheese]

Why does all of the corn in Iowa lean to the east?

Because Nebraska blows and Illinois sucks!

 

[CYKXBUT]

During the battle of Little Big Horn, Custer asked his Indian scout for an assessment.
Scout: Well General I've got good news and bad news.
Custer: Give me the bad news first
Scout: There are thousands of Indians here who are well armed. We are virtually surrounded and almost out of ammo. It looks very, very, bleak.
Custer: Oh, that does sound bad, but what is the good news?
Scout: Well, it looks like we won't have to go back across Nebraska......

 

[cyrocksmypants]

Their "student" athletes?

 

[HerkyKiller]

Just ask them if they heard that the NU school library burned down?


When they say "no I didnt hear about it"


Say "Yeah and not all the books had even been colored in yet"

 

[CycloneNorth]

Why don't girls play hide and seek in Lincoln?

No one would look for them.

 

[fwiw]

This one was only good until 1993 --

Why did Tom Osborne pour his cereal on a plate?
He lost his bowls.

 

[Ficklone02]

What's the difference between a pair of boots in Nebraska and Iowa?

The Iowa boots have the **** on the outside.

 

[CycloneErik]

I thought Nebraska was the joke. We need more than that?

 

[HerkyKiller]

I thought Nebraska was the joke. We need more than that?

I was just about to post this.