In Aug of 2024, waitlists in our area were into 2026. Friend was due in October, got on waitlist where older child was and still didn't get in until June. Had to use a nanny Feb through May.
Help: I’m going to be a father
- Thread starter CheapClone1202
- Start date
The Science Center of Iowa in DSM has a preschool. As you might expect, it's a highly sought-after preschool for the folks that can afford it (~$1,000/month per kid). I was at an event where SCI gave a presentation about their program. They said they tell people to put their name in as soon as they know they are pregnant and even then there are no promises.
Have a co-worker who moved here when their kid was still a baby. They put their name in and didn't get call back until he was already in KG.
1. Congrats, being a father in the most rewarding thing this world has to offer
2. We should not be shocked the guy whose signature is “has 3 legs” impregnated someone. Bigger shock is it took until 26.
3. As OP can already attest, it doesn’t matter if he comes last or not
2. We should not be shocked the guy whose signature is “has 3 legs” impregnated someone. Bigger shock is it took until 26.
3. As OP can already attest, it doesn’t matter if he comes last or not
$1000 a month would be a 40% discount on my preschooler
Yep. That would save me over $8k per year
I'd LOVE $1000/mo at the science center.
We have 1 left in preschool and one in after school care. It's still more than our mortgage payment
Not to derail the thread (and this is not new information) but the cost of child care is so insane. We had to make an economic decision once our kids were born because the cost of daycare was more than my spouse made. I have a coworker who spends 1.5x my mortgage payment every month in child care. I feel fortunate that A) we missed the boat on when prices went sky high and B) my spouse was willing to take on the daily child care duties while I'm at work.$1000 a month would be a 40% discount on my preschooler
Congrats! It is daunting when you find out at first, isn't it?
Just remember your job is to love and protect your wife and child, in every little way you can think of. If you can do that, it all sort of sorts itself out. Teach your child good manners starting as soon as they have the capacity. Parenting books are fine, but once you've been in the trenches a while, you'll accept that there is no perfect "program" to raising a good human. Try to be the kind of person, as an adult looking back, that you would look up to as a kid, and odds are you'll do just fine.
And I'll just add one more thing. There will be a point, maybe three years from now, maybe ten, where you two will look at each other and think you aren't doing as well as you should. Other people's kids will be better behaved when you see them, or farther along in school or sports. You'll feel swamped by all the running around chasing activities and maybe a little burned out by it all. Your kids feel like they are helpless for the longest time, and it will seem as though you need to be right there by them in everything, just to get by. And then suddenly, they aren't small or helpless any more and you really get the payoff for all the energy you have put into them. It's absolutely insane how fast it happens when the time comes. And when you look back, you'll realize that those harder days were really important to their development and appreciate it more.
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- Jan 26, 2019
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CONGRATS!! I had my first born at 24 so close to your age. My main advice is just love them, love covers all the mistakes a parent can make. It's going to be hard and challenging but oh so worth it. Make sure to find time for you and your girlfriend as well.
P.S. I don't know if you are religious/spiritual but if anybody says anything to you about having a baby out of wedlock ask them to show you in the Bible where it says you can't have sex/have a baby before being civilly married to someone. The answer being it doesn't say it anywhere, if you two have decided that you love each other and asked God to bless your union you are in fact married in the eyes of God.
That’s why we were given two kidneys.
Or just tell them to mind their own ******* business and shut the hell up.
Yeah I won't cave it but when we look at how other countries treat parental leave/childcare (as a societal/economic investment with tremendous return), it's very clear the US is in another galaxy. Especially with private equity getting involved and the rate of increase even over the past 10-15 yrs. Childcare is quickly becoming a luxury good.
Kids are expensive in general. Grew up in a house with 3 other siblings. Dad made $60k-$70k per year, mom was a homemaker. No ******* chance you could do that in todays world
The days will be long, but the years will be short.
I have an 18 yo and a 13 yo boys. Here is my advice. First, don’t be an ass. You and the girlfriend are in this together that means sharing the duties. Baby wakes up hungry or sick in the middle of the night you have to help with that. Kiddo has a blow out and there is poop everywhere you have to suck it up and help clean. She cannot and should not do it all. Lastly when one of my dearest friends had kids he slept in a different room because “he had to work the next day and couldn’t be bothered with baby stuff” during the night. I always thought that was such a low class move. Please don’t do that.
Second, for both of you know and learn what you do well for the baby. My oldest was a horrible sleeper and I was really good at rocking him back to sleep while my wife was not. Also I did better with less sleep than she did. I spent many wee hours of the night walking around the house rocking him to sleep. It was in some ways rough at the time but today I wouldn’t change those moments for anything. Now as they are older my wife is much better at the teenager stuff than I could ever be.
Lastly do make time for yourself, but find those moments to bring the kid along. I spent an entire day at Drake Relays when my oldest was really tiny. I strapped him into the baby Bjorn and we had a day. It was great and when not mobile not that much extra work. But don’t bring infants to a movie theater. They start crying and it bothers everyone else. Not everyone thinks your baby is really cute. Many people don’t seem to realize that.
Anyway, congratulations. Being a father is great, a lot, but great.
Second, for both of you know and learn what you do well for the baby. My oldest was a horrible sleeper and I was really good at rocking him back to sleep while my wife was not. Also I did better with less sleep than she did. I spent many wee hours of the night walking around the house rocking him to sleep. It was in some ways rough at the time but today I wouldn’t change those moments for anything. Now as they are older my wife is much better at the teenager stuff than I could ever be.
Lastly do make time for yourself, but find those moments to bring the kid along. I spent an entire day at Drake Relays when my oldest was really tiny. I strapped him into the baby Bjorn and we had a day. It was great and when not mobile not that much extra work. But don’t bring infants to a movie theater. They start crying and it bothers everyone else. Not everyone thinks your baby is really cute. Many people don’t seem to realize that.
Anyway, congratulations. Being a father is great, a lot, but great.
Remember, kids are like pancakes: you'll fuk the first one up, and the rest will turn out fine, lol.
I read the Dr Spock book like it was a bible. It was maybe close, but not reallity. My youngest grandchild has a mother that is a board certified behavior anylyst and a son who has aquired an assistant principal job in central Iowa. it will be interesting to see where there kids go versus the first five grand kids. It is an adventure do the best you can and dont get addicted to bad things. Then things are not as naturally occuring, as they could have been. Some will understand this post.
I always made a game of it. Let’s pick up the blocks. No! Ok, how about we take the blocks and try to toss them into the container and see who can get more in? Ok! Worked every time.
Time to go upstairs to bed. No! We don’t want to go to bed! How about if I carry upside down to your room so you can get ready for bed! Ok! Worked every time. In fact my college aged kid will still bring that up.
You carry your college aged kid upside down to bed? You gotta be strong and/or have a short son.
Appreciate it. I am the king of not being fond of other people’s children. Don’t want to see kids school pictures, hate strollers and promised id never be one to have kids running around a restaurant or blaring an iPad. I’m really going to be tested on my values now.
