Why was student attendence at the Metrodome always so low?
Most of them couldn't afford enough ammo to walk there and back safely...
Most of them couldn't afford enough ammo to walk there and back safely...
Good jokes to rip on MN Gopher fans
- Thread starter jpete24
- Start date
Yeah, this does not apply at all to people from the Minneapolis/St. Paul metro. They would just laugh at you.
This one is good, we Minnesotans love fish.
This one is SO TRUE. Best one yet.
My addition: Remind them that Minnesota fired Glen Mason after Minnesota suffered the largest comeback in bowl game history to lose the Independence Bowl 44-41 to Texas Tech in 2006.
hey, i got a good joke/riddle that will teach those big mean germans and scandinavians up in minnesota not to mess with isu.
here goes: what does the super-secret code army morse code 22-2-1 mean?
here goes: what does the super-secret code army morse code 22-2-1 mean?
Why is Iowa so windy?
Because Missouri sucks and Minnesota blows!
Did you hear about Iowa's new zoo?
We put a fence around Minnesota.
Because Missouri sucks and Minnesota blows!
Did you hear about Iowa's new zoo?
We put a fence around Minnesota.
my favorite....take a cellophane cigarette wrapper stand it upright and ask a Minnesotian what that is.....Tell them the Vikings trophy case
A woman from Bemidji goes into Wal-mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-mart associate standing there with dark glasses on. She asks, "Excuse me sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind, but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it all on the counter anyway. He said "That's a 6' graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel, and it's $20." She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register. And in the meantime, the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed, but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was she. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She asks, "But didn't you say it was $20?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20, the duck call is $3, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"
..since we brought out the Vikings jokes, I have to tell this one.
Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team?
Cause then Minnesota would want one!
Better yet tell them its the Gopher Rivalry Trophy Case.
No Victory Bell (PSU)
No Little Brown Jug (Michigan)
No Paul Bunyon Axe (Wisconsin)
And of course no Floyd.
Good luck. Beat the Gophers!!
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Minnesota campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the University of Minnesota campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
Q: How many University of Minnesota freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: How many Minnesota fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.
Q: What do Minnesota and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!
Q: Why do University of Minnesota fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a Minnesota, a Wisconsin grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.
As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"
Seeing this, the Wisconsin grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Badgers!" and pushed the Golden Gophers fan off the side of the mountain.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Minnesota's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
A: A visitor.
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the University of Minnesota campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
Q: How many University of Minnesota freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: How many Minnesota fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.
Q: What do Minnesota and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!
Q: Why do University of Minnesota fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a Minnesota, a Wisconsin grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.
As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"
Seeing this, the Wisconsin grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Badgers!" and pushed the Golden Gophers fan off the side of the mountain.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Minnesota's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Minneapolis-Saint Paul News Report: Football practice in Minneapolis-Saint Paul was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Glen Mason, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
Q: Do you know why the University of Minnesota football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Minnesota campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Golden Gophers cheerleaders back on board.
Two University of Minnesota fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.
The first Minnesota fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The second Minnesota fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."
The first Minnesota fan asks, "Why not?"
The second Minnesota fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Minnesota joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Minnesota grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Minnesota grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Minnesota grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
Q: Do you know why the University of Minnesota football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Minnesota campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Golden Gophers cheerleaders back on board.
Two University of Minnesota fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.
The first Minnesota fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The second Minnesota fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."
The first Minnesota fan asks, "Why not?"
The second Minnesota fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Minnesota joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Minnesota grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Minnesota grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Minnesota grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."
The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."
The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."
"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Minnesota win a bowl game this year?"
The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."
The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."
The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."
"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Minnesota win a bowl game this year?"
The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."
Q: How do you make University of Minnesota cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
