I haven't read through everything and have no clue what others have recommended but here is my opinion as someone that has been a cyclist since 16 (25 years).
First off buy used. You can find a good bike for half the price of new that most likely is coming from someone no different than yourself. Decided to get into biking, spent a lot of money on getting started, then never got into it and deciding to sell everything. I'm not saying that's what will happen with you but there are a lot of <3 year old bikes out there with almost no miles on them. Don't get hung up on the higest end components for your first bike. I always advise people to have their second bike be the new expensive one, see if you truly enjoy it first, then spend the money later.
Second get an allroad/gravel bike. There are many advantages to them even if you have zero interest in riding gravel. They are just as fast on pavement for the average rider but can handle so many other situations that a road bike can struggle with. Case in point, I ride with a group of friends aroround the Des Moines area that includes a lot of street riding, bike path, down town, neignborhoods, etc. Even when we never leave pavement the folks that are on road bikes encounter situations that are an issue for their bikes while the rest of us roll right through. However newer road bikes will accept 30C tires which is a very versatile size.
Third don't get hung up on weight. I laugh at bikers that brag about they saved 250 grams by swapping out new wheels/etc while they themselves are 20-40 pounds overweight. I primarily ride a steel gravel/adventure bike and have zero issues keeping up with the carbon roadies. Get the bike that fits you and allows you to do what you want instead of falling for all the tech/weight talk some get obsessed with. Frame material and weight can never overcome someone not in cycling shape or a bike not suited for your situation.
Fourth find what clothing works for you. If you want full form fitting kit than go for it. If you would rather wear more "bagger" clothes than go for it. Figure out if clipped or flat pedals work for you and go for it. Everyone has their own comfort, sytle, etc. I personally ride in more "bagger" clothes and my group has all types as we've all found what works for us individually. It will take some experimenting but dont get pressured "that you need this" in regards to clothing.
Fifth prepare your bank account!!! I spend waaaay to much on accessories and tweaking my bikes. But it's worth every penny.
