Friday OT #2 -- At the Late Night, Double Feature, Picture Show

[Sigmapolis]

tl;dr other thread @Angie is on vacation and asked me to host the OT this week!

In honor of movie theaters starting to open back up (and my plan to see a gigantic radioactive lizard fight a giant ape and...

Spoiler

his mechanical doppelganger

...this Saturday)...

What is the *worst* experience you have ever had in a theater?

I can think of one other, but because it involves Star Wars and I do not want to cause a flame war, I'll concentrate on the other.

The worst time I ever had in a theater was watching 300. Just an awful film, top to bottom. Disgustingly gory but without justification for the same (e.g., for a body horror film or a realistic war film, like a Saving Private Ryan), headache-inducing pounding for a "soundtrack" and "sound design," and almost a mind-meltingly stupid plot and characters. For somebody who appreciates the work of real historians on antiquity, watching the Spartans become an avatar for teenage braggadocio and "freedom" (when, in reality, Spartans were notoriously curt, the modern word "laconic" having its origins with their way of speech, and Spartan society being 90% made up of slaves) were hard to swallow.

Even worse was the portrayal of the Persian Empire. For its day, the Persian Empire was shockingly gentle in its conquests, tolerate of diverse religions and customs, and generally pluralistic assuming the provinces paid their taxes and behaved themselves. Its provinces prospered under its rule, being able to keep the best of their culture but also folded into a regional empire offering trade and interconnectivity and political stability instead of the constant militarism and warring that defined the ancient Near East and Middle East prior to the rise of the Persians. Greek culture (architecture, philosophy, etc.) in Ionia (the modern Aegean coast of Turkey) flourished under Persian rule for hundreds of years.

None of this what I saw in that trash movie.

I suppose going with a bunch of frat boys hooting and hollering at all this did not make it any better. But I couldn't leave.

So what is yours? Bad theater? Bad company? A bad film? Or 2/3 or all three?

 

[20eyes]

Wow, weird coincidence...don't recall the worst experience but I walked out of the Matthew Broderick Godzilla because is was so ****ing dumb.

Spoiler alert is pretty dope, btw.

 

[Sousaclone]

Don't think I've ever had a really bad movie experience. Probably the worst I can remember was seeing John Wick 2 and a guy in the theater was giving way to much excited commentary (I don't think he was completely all there either) throughout the movie.

Funniest experience was seeing Beerfest in college and having the guys in the row behind us cracking open beers that they snuck in and the entire theater laughing at about the sounds of beers opening during that movie.

 

[throwittoblythe]

tl;dr other thread @Angie is on vacation and asked me to host the OT this week!

In honor of movie theaters starting to open back up (and my plan to see a gigantic radioactive lizard fight a giant ape and...

Spoiler

his mechanical doppelganger

...this weekend...

What is the *worst* experience you have ever had in a theater?


So what is yours? Bad theater? Bad company? A bad film? Or 2/3 or all three?

For me, probably Suicide Squad. Both for the movie and the experience. A bunch of new friends invited me to go see it long after it first hit theatres. There was a local theatre that showed the movies late in their cycle at like $2 per person. So I'm all for it and head to the theatre. As usual, I stop by the gas station on my way and pick up a coke, some candy, and a small bag of popcorn to snack on during the movie.

Well, my friends fail to tell me this is a DINNER theatre. So, everyone sits at round tables in a lounge setting and the movie is just kind of on the whole time on the screen. Plus, the lights never fully go dark because people need to see their food. So I feel like a f-ing idiot with my coke and bag of popcorn that I brought with me.

Also, the movie is just bad. The plot is so all over the place and makes no sense. All I will say is, thank God for Margo Robbie and those shorts.

 

[oldman]

I walked out of Gods and Generals, about halfway through. And it even had one of my favorite actors in it -- Robert Duvall. Incredibly boring IMO.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

We saw Despicable Me 3 in the theater. The movie was just terrible and the family behind us consisted of a sniffler, a cougher, a seat-kicker and someone apparently infatuated with the sound of cellophane.

My wife fell asleep and had a far better experience.

 

[Sigmapolis]

I walked out of Gods and Generals, about halfway through. And it even had one of my favorite actors in it -- Robert Duvall. Incredibly boring IMO.

A watched that with a couple of friends (we were nerds) at one of their homes.

Just like with 300, I was less annoyed by its shortcomings as a film (which were abundant in both instances) but even more with its treatment of the history. Very few Hollywood films have truly embraced and made the case for the Confederate "Lost Cause" mythology, and Gods and Generals certainly tried to make that case.

Plenty of films are just plain bad as films. But it takes a special sort of bad to mess up and offend with what are already the fascinating stories and characters presented by the essence of historical tales.

 

[Entropy]

I took a girl on a date to see "There's Something About Mary" in high school.
She didn't laugh once.
I found it hilarious and laughed the entire time.
It was the most awkward date I have ever been on.

 

[CtownCyclone]

Ok, I can think of two off the top of my head. First one was when my wife and I went to see True Grit. Not being much of a John Wayne fan, I hadn't seen the original. I was enjoying to film quite a bit, but there was this older couple behind us who would not shut up about what was coming next. They quieted down a bit after I gave them a glare, but they still managed to spoil the climactic scene at the end.

Other one was way back when I was single and living in the sticks in the Texas panhandle. The Mist had come out, I liked the story from way back, and @brett108 wanted to go too. Gave us guys a chance to get into Amarillo and actually see other people. We get in there and notice that this family was there, none of the kids were older than about 10, with one of them being like 3. Kids were obviously terrified and crying, but the parents wouldn't take them out.

 

[Sigmapolis]

Ok, I can think of two off the top of my head. First one was when my wife and I went to see True Grit. Not being much of a John Wayne fan, I hadn't seen the original. I was enjoying to film quite a bit, but there was this older couple behind us who would not shut up about what was coming next. They quieted down a bit after I gave them a glare, but they still managed to spoil the climactic scene at the end.

One of my other ideas for this week was instances where both an original and a remake are good.

Both iterations of True Grit are excellent films. I just worried that there are probably not too many examples of this, unfortunately, so dedicating a topic to it would be too much. Sorry they spoiled it for you.

Other one was way back when I was single and living in the sticks in the Texas panhandle. The Mist had come out, I liked the story from way back, and @brett108 wanted to go too. Gave us guys a chance to get into Amarillo and actually see other people. We get in there and notice that this family was there, none of the kids were older than about 10, with one of them being like 3. Kids were obviously terrified and crying, but the parents wouldn't take them out.

The first film I ever saw in a theater was Jurassic Park. I was 5. I had nightmares for years.

 

[Buster28]

I can only think of one bad experience and it was because of the film. We'd gone to see "Wild At Heart" with Nicholas Cage and Laura Dern. About half an hour into it, I leaned over the girl I was with and said "this sucks, wanna walk out?" She said "yes!" That was it. It was just awful. Didn't even ask for our money back, we just wanted to get out of there.

 

[Cyclonepride]

1. Homecoming movie, and I believe it was after the dance- went to The Natural. Longest movie ever for that scenario.

2. Took my then-girlfriend's daughter to The Fellowship of the Ring. We made it about 20 minutes in? when she was terrified by the scene with the first Ringwraith where they were hiding under the tree, and we had to leave (completely understandable, but I was totally looking forward to that movie, and ended up having to wait for it to come out at the video store).

 

[AuH2O]

I had a birthday party with like 10 boys staying at my house maybe in 4th or 5th grade. We had planned on playing football outside leading up to the party. It was raining like crazy, so my folks were trying to find something to fill time and took us all to Eight Men Out. They figured PG movie about baseball, seems like a reasonable option. Needless to say a 2 hour movie about baseball without much baseball leads to lots of restless little kids.

With the threat of a lifetime ban from the theater looming, my parents rounded us up, got us home and told us to just go out and play football in the mud, which we did until midnight.

I never had another birthday party again.

 

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

I can only think of one bad experience and it was because of the film. We'd gone to see "Wild At Heart" with Nicholas Cage and Laura Dern. About half an hour into it, I leaned over the girl I was with and said "this sucks, wanna walk out?" She said "yes!" That was it. It was just awful. Didn't even ask for our money back, we just wanted to get out of there.

Not exactly a "date" film. lol

I would say Star Trek First Contact. A few of us got together for the Friday matinee on opening weekend at some theater in Des Moines. They had curtains over the screen that wouldn't draw open so eventually an employee just walked down and tore the curtain down amidst a lot of dust. Then there were issues actually playing the movie so we had to wait another 45 minutes or so for the next showing at one of the other screens.

I also walked out of Kung Fu Hustle. About 30 minutes in there was an old woman wandering about the theater. So I got up and asked her if there was a problem. She said she was trying to figure out how to get out. I took her to the door and just decided to walk out as well as I hated the first 30 minutes of the movie so I figured why watch any more of it.

 

[Thorongil Clone]

Highlander II. Worst movie ever made. Period. We nearly got in trouble as we were leaving the theater and warning people in line not to see it.

 

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

Highlander II. Worst movie ever made. Period. We nearly got in trouble as we were leaving the theater and warning people in line not to see it.

Gymkata says hold my beer

 

[Bipolarcy]

Mine has to be Mrs. Doubtfire. I went to see it three times and actually saw it once.

First time I took my two under age 10 daughters to see it and the youngest one, probably about 7 or 8 at the time, got sick about half an hour into it and we had to leave.

The second time I went to see it, I took a date and about the same place in the movie, the usher came up to me, asked me my name and said they'd gotten a telephone call from someone telling me my mother had died. I have no idea how they knew where I was to get a hold of me because I had told no one where I was going or that I had a date, which was a rarity in those days. My mother was in a hospital 80 miles away from where I lived at the time and I knew she was sickly (I had just gotten back from visiting her) but it was still a shock because she was doing better when I left. Good enough for me to feel safe going on a rare date, anyway.

So the third time I went to see Mrs. Doubtfire, I took my kids again and when it came to the part where I had been interrupted twice already, I fully expected to have it happen again, but it didn't.

 

[madguy30]

I took a girl on a date to see "There's Something About Mary" in high school.
She didn't laugh once.
I found it hilarious and laughed the entire time.
It was the most awkward date I have ever been on.

Freshman year of college was the third wheel with a friend and his future wife...he wanted to go to a movie, and he picked....Crocodile Dundee 3.

I think he paid for it so fine by me to see Dundee do that spell thing on animals from like 50 feet away like it was a laser.

Couple of years later did the same thing with another buddy, but went to Anchorman. We both laughed our tails off while the girlfriend stared blankly.

This wasn't necessarily bad experiences in a theater, but both dates/girlfriends were one of 3 people I've known that didn't like Will Ferrell (understandable) The Simpsons (less understandable) or Seinfeld (blasphemy!) and spending time with someone like that for two hours is a tough draw.

 

[MeanDean]

Every Which Way but Loose. Bad movie. My roommate laughed and I just thought is was stupid.

Sgt Bilko - I loved the old Phil Silvers series and a couple of college buddies and I used to get together every year. I suggested this and we went. Steve Martin has made so good movies but also some real stinkers. I think we each fell asleep for short/moderate periods in the movie.

The first Star Wars. Saw it first day in the local mall theater. The film started with the text going by at the beginning - and immediately the film broke. We sat there maybe 20 minutes and it finally started again with the desert scene with the giant mechanical camel things (I don't know what they are) and so I don't know how much we missed. I know I left the theater under-whelmed and never went to another Star Wars movie after that. I don't know if I should blame it on that or not.

Blues Brothers. I liked the movie but it was not projected in focus so ended up with a bit of a headache afterwards.

 

[CtownCyclone]

One of my other ideas for this week was instances where both an original and a remake are good.

Both iterations of True Grit are excellent films. I just worried that there are probably not too many examples of this, unfortunately, so dedicating a topic to it would be too much. Sorry they spoiled it for you

I have since seen the John Wayne version, and maybe it's because I saw the Coen version first, I think it's not as good as the remake. Both are good, but I really loved how Jeff Bridges portrayed Rooster.