*****Official Father's Day 2019 Dad Joke Thread*****

[amishclone]

A monument to that finest of all jokes, the Dad Joke.

Show dad you care!

 

[amishclone]

What do you call a bear with no ears?

B.

 

[Cyched]

Want to hear a joke about paper?

 

[LincolnSwinger]

what did zero say to eight? nice belt

 

[Gomer80]

How can you tell a train just went by?

It left its tracks.

 

[amishclone]

Want to hear a joke about paper?

Yes

 

[amishclone]

What do you call a one-legged woman?

Ilene

 

[Cyched]

Yes

No you don’t. It’s tearable.

 

[Sigmapolis]

Dad, I'm gay.

Hello gay, I'm dad.

 

[Stewo]

No you don’t. It’s tearable.

Damn man. That's just....too much dad joke for me.

 

[Cyched]

Damn man. That's just....too much dad joke for me.

 

[srjclone]

How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!

 

[cmjh10]

What is the opposite of defeat?





Dehands

 

[GetAwesome]

Kid: ...but I'm cold!

Dad: Go stand in the corner, it's 90°.

 

[CYEATHAWK]

The guy in the water with no arms or legs......what's his name?


Bob

 

[BillBrasky4Cy]

You guys see that new movie "Pirates"?

It rated ARRRRRRRRRRRR

 

[SCyclone]

The guy in the water with no arms or legs......what's his name?


Bob

What do you call a quadriplegic hanging on the wall? Art
What do you call a quadriplegic lying on the floor? Matt
What do you call two quadriplegics hanging in the window? Curt 'n' Rod

 

[Cychl82]

The guy in the water with no arms or legs......what's his name?


Bob

The guy on the wall with no arms or legs

Art

 

[amishclone]

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't coming

 

[amishclone]

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef