Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by amishclone, Jun 14, 2019.
Name of author for the book "Tracks in the Sand":
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
Kid: I'm bored, there's nothing to do.
Dad: Read a book about anti-gravity. You won't be able to put it down.
I use to work for a company that makes calenders...
...they fired me for taking a day off.
Where do one-legged waiters and waitresses work?
My son...singing Bohemian Bohemian Rhapsody in the car...poorly.
Dad:Who sings this?
Son: Queen, Dad.
Dad: Let's keep it that way. ;-)
Need some Floppy Show jokes here. These were jokes the kids would tell Duane Elliott. I'll start with the alltime favorite.
Q: What's the biggest can in the world?
I'll end with the one that almost caused Duane to faint.
Q: Why is sex like a snowstorm?
A: You never know how much you're going to get.
I am sure some dad set the kid up with that joke. And I am sure some mom probably
beat the crap out of dad for doing it.
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,
"You know, one would have been enough."
What'd the fish say when it hit the wall?
Why do Eskimos take a bath in Tide?
'Cause it cold out-tide.
Why don't dinosaurs talk?
Because they're all dead.
Kind of related but I laughed way too much at this progressive commercial.
How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
Take away its credit card.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
What's the best way to catch a squirrel?
Act like a nut.
What's the best way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw it to you.
I'm here all week, folks...
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom?
Because the p is silent.
what do you call cheese thats not yours? Nacho cheese
Did you hear about the Indian that drank 10 gallons of tea?
He drown in his own tea pee.
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?
My parrot just died. I'm really upset about it but it's taken a huge load off my shoulders. .
Scientists determined diarrhea is hereditary. Apparently it runs in your jeans.
I have a joke about pizza, but it’s really cheesy.