Why is life worth living?

[NickTheGreat]

My maternal grandmother had Parkinsons. I think she had it for all the time I knew her, which was over 20 years.

She was mentally sharp until the end. Probably a little too sharp at times, but that's another story!

 

[4theCYcle]

Jeremy, sorry that you're dealing with and having to manage that disease. That doesn't sound easy. I can't imagine what you go through constantly. Just know that you have a caring CF family on here.

To whom this may help or concern, I think it applies to this thread. Since last February, I have been drinking this alternative coffee brand called Amazing Coffee (yes I know creative naming). Medicinal mushrooms have a place for people's health. As I've said before, I had pretty bad anxiety and depression for some time the last couple years. In many months since I've been on this mushroom coffee, I have experienced noticeable improvements across the board. I think it has reduced my anxiety quite a bit. I don't stress as much as I used to or let stress overtake me. It's helped with memory, mood, alertness, no jitters like regular coffee gave me. I'm telling you it helps. Listed ingredients on the label include - ginger, cocoa, turmeric, matcha, cinnamon, maca root, green tea, green coffee, and ginseng. The mushrooms included are Shiitake, chaga, cordyceps. Another product I've started trying is Lucid Chai, just for something different. I know some people mention price, but companies do subscriptions and sales enough that it's not that badly priced. Being healthier is an investment for less future hospital visits. Plus, if people are always going to starbucks or other places, it still comes out cheaper than that. I truly believe that mushrooms help with nerve function, mood, gut health (I have crohns), brain function, immunity, energy, inflammation, and even sex drive. I know some may say that doubt remains because of studies, but I think quality of product can help or make a difference too.

I don't make money on this product or any type of promotion. I just know that it has helped me. So, hopefully this will help someone. To me, it's another option to use alongside with or without medication. I also know from my own experience that chiropractic care can work wonders on nerve function and irritability and anxiety.

 

[4theCYcle]

@FriendlySpartan Why the disagreement? What exactly do you disagree with me here? I'm curious.

 

[RagingCloner]

@FriendlySpartan Why the disagreement? What exactly do you disagree with me here? I'm curious.

I would assume its because your advertising for something you clearly have some stake in, in a thread where most of us talk about our struggles? Just a wild guess

 

[FriendlySpartan]

Probably because your advertising for something you clearly have some stake in, in a thread where most of us talk about our struggles? Just a shot in the dark here

That and also you’re promoting pseudo science in a thread focusing on some serious medial issues. The “amazing coffee” is a simple marketing gimmick targeting people that think “superfoods” are a thing. Same for promoting chiropractor services for anything other than musculoskeletal problems. You don’t “know” any of these things you’ve simply been told them by the people making money off you.

Most important is that I disagree with your take that they are “an alternative to medicine”. You want to try these things in addition to science based medicine go ahead, it’s unlikely to cause serious harm (although chiropractors do every day) but to say it’s an alternative is just flat out wrong.

 

[4theCYcle]

I would assume its because your advertising for something you clearly have some stake in, in a thread where most of us talk about our struggles? Just a wild guess

Unbelievable LOL. I DO NOT have stake in this product whatsoever. Did I offer any type of promo code or anything that was self-promotional related? No, so I do not have stake or ties to the company. I simply talked about what's in it and how it's helped me. Why don't you go back and read my history of what I posted in this thread before pushing accusations onto me. Some people drink coffee and that does create anxiety in itself. I simply typed out something that has improved what I've gone through and that if it can help someone else, then fantastic. I wasn't offering that advice to Jeremy for parkinsons. Maybe I should have done a separate post, but apparently food or supplements are a no-no in here and offering other possible suggestions that have worked for me. Look, I never said medications don't have a place. I was on them. They also don't work for everyone and this has been an expanded thread on various struggles beyond Jeremy's.

"That and also you’re promoting pseudo science in a thread focusing on some serious medial issues. The “amazing coffee” is a simple marketing gimmick targeting people that think “superfoods” are a thing. Same for promoting chiropractor services for anything other than musculoskeletal problems. You don’t “know” any of these things you’ve simply been told them by the people making money off you.

Most important is that I disagree with your take that they are “an alternative to medicine”. You want to try these things in addition to science based medicine go ahead, it’s unlikely to cause serious harm (although chiropractors do every day) but to say it’s an alternative is just flat out wrong."

You can have your opinion and I can have mine. I do have crohns, so yes, I do know about science based medicine and what doctors have done for me and what they can do for others. But, I also know other things have their place too. I also know that with pharmaceuticals you can have both positive and negative results. Just because you take a pill to cure something doesn't mean you won't possibly create another problem. Maybe a different choice of words could have been used. Not everyone always have a promotional agenda attached to themselves.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

Most important is that I disagree with your take that they are “an alternative to medicine”. You want to try these things in addition to science based medicine go ahead, it’s unlikely to cause serious harm (although chiropractors do every day) but to say it’s an alternative is just flat out wrong."

You can have your opinion and I can have mine. I do have crohns, so yes, I do know about science based medicine and what doctors have done for me and what they can do for others. But, I also know other things have their place too. I also know that with pharmaceuticals you can have both positive and negative results. Just because you take a pill to cure something doesn't mean you won't possibly create another problem. Maybe a different choice of words could have been used. Not everyone always have a promotional agenda attached to themselves.

I see you edited your post to remove the “alternative to medicine” comment so I appreciate that.

I also agree and stated that there is typically very little harm in doing what you talked about in addition to science based medicine. Even if it is all mental that is still a help to someone dealing with a disease.

While I was just agreeing with the promotional agenda comment I was very surprised someone with crohns was promoting coffee since most patients with IBD are advised to avoid caffeine.

 

[4theCYcle]

I see you edited your post to remove the “alternative to medicine” comment so I appreciate that.

I also agree and stated that there is typically very little harm in doing what you talked about in addition to science based medicine. Even if it is all mental that is still a help to someone dealing with a disease.

While I was just agreeing with the promotional agenda comment I was very surprised someone with crohns was promoting coffee since most patients with IBD are advised to avoid caffeine.

I understand kind of what you were saying and yeah I needed to correct my word choice, but I still had good intentions of posting my findings.

My GI Dr. has stated that I am fine to partake. He also said alcohol is fine in moderation. I usually know my triggers, but my health is definitely more under control. I wouldn't say I'm probably like the most typical person with crohns where they get triggered constantly and have to go the bathroom all of the time. I'm more like anyone else where I have up and down moments from the foods that I eat. I just basically went through a period of awful inflammation and incorrect diagnosis' in which lead to surgery and removal of some of my small intestine, large intestine/colon and my prune-like appendix. I would say though in the last year I have made even more progress of feeling less crappy more often.

This alternative that I drink has a lot less caffeine in it compared to regular coffee. The increase in energy is steady and I don't feel a crash. The other added products help aid in energy and also help keep the gut in a steady state where I actually feel better after I drink it and look forward to drinking it every morning as part of my routine. To me, I started noticing benefits about a month or two after I was drinking it. I know enough on the nutrition side of what I put in my body and how it benefits me, so I just didn't latch onto this product and buy immediately. I had tried other various products that just didn't taste that great and over time and trials, I decided to give the coffee a try. Just today, I didn't feel the best earlier and while I've had some of my coffee, my gut already feels a little better.

Clearly either you've had a bad experience with a chiropractor or have ties to someone who did. I've been pretty hard on my body over the years so yeah, I'm a believer in chiropractic care. Just like any industry, not all are created equal, just like medical doctors. I've experienced very poor Dr. care and my wife is a nurse. So I'm pretty aware of the medical field. But I have been with mine for many years and I've noticed differences within my body as well as proof through imagery that progress as been made. My chiropractor uses a push pen, not manual body manipulation that can be a little more aggressive and invasive. Not being completely oblivious to how the body works, keeping the nervous system functioning at peak instead of just knowingly bypassing misalignments is my goal. I know that nerves play a key role at how the body communicates with itself, so I can usually tell when something is off and generally know where the issue lies. Where I have issues with the medical field is you tell a Dr. there is pain, they say well lets fix that pain. They prescribe a medicine here and there and sometimes jump around and then may never actually get to the root cause. I just believe that all play a role in how we take care of our bodies and minds. Therapy helps. Medical Drs help. Chiropractic care helps. And some "holistic approaches" can help.

Just remember, your name implied you are a friendly spartan, ya just didn't seem very friendly there. We all have the same goals and that is to help people in this thread. My apologies if my post came off as something promotional, which I believed it didn't because I don't have ties or codes to offer. I'd rather promote that I am a photographer on the side and like helping people that way and that's what I love, haha (light hearted joke), but I was just trying to help some people in here that I know have talked about depression and anxiety. With the way the world is right now, we need people who care, not spread hate and negativity.

 

[3TrueFans]

The ****?

 

[Statefan10]

Didn't know exactly where to post this, but have been needing to talk about it for some time and it's very hard to talk about. About a month ago, my wife out of the blue told me she was having second thoughts about us and our marriage. We've been together about 10 years and married 4 years. Being that it was so abrupt, I went a little nuts, not aggressive nuts, but emotionally nuts. I later found out through asking her and pressing her a bit that she was having an affair with a coworker.

This wasn't just a random coworker though, this was someone who was married as well, and my wife and I were very good friends and close with them. We did a lot of things together. Me and the guy also did a lot of things together: grabbed lunch, went golfing, grabbed a beer, etc. At one point, even had a heart to heart with him telling him that he has developed into one of my best friends.

My wife and him were having a "non-sexual, emotional affair, with some kissing", or at least that's essentially how my wife has described it to me. She also didn't flat out come clean to me when I asked either, she actually lied to me at first saying that she never cheated on me with him, she may just be in love with him. It took me pressing a bit before she told the truth. I also found out that almost every time they did kiss one another, this guy's wife and me were actually there at the time, whether that be at our house, their house or a party. (****** up right?) The "plan" was for the two of them to leave their spouses and then live happily ever after.

I also left out that I believed something was happening for a while. They were constantly communicating with one another whether that was through text message or snapchat. They would grab lunches on Fridays together or grab a happy hour drink together and if I got upset about it, I'd be gaslit as the jealous husband and it'd drive me crazy thinking that I could be that. But that ended up turning me into that monster exactly. Checking locations, always worrying if she was with him, etc. It got to the point where I was so insecure about myself that I just flat out asked her multiple times if she liked/loved him more than me and she would tell me I was crazy and "the only one for her". There was a time when we were all hanging out and I swear I saw them kiss and later confronted her about it, which she then swore to me nothing happened, rather they were hugging after talking about something emotional. I later found out that that night was their first time kissing.

So here's my pickle.. I'm willing to forgive my wife or at least work extremely hard through marriage counseling and my own therapy to figure out how to better myself in a bunch of ways, and she's been wishy washy on her feelings about wanting to try. These last few weeks have been so damn complicated and emotionally draining for me. And also confusing. There have been weird walking on egg shell moments and then there have been alright and even great moments with one another, but her behavior and emotions have been so bi-polar and change essentially hourly.

I've struggled with anxiety before but now it's like every waking moment and it's hard to even get through an entire day of work now. Essentially my entire life is invested into this relationship and even thinking a little bit about the fact of not being with her / starting over makes me sick.

 

[JP4CY]

You deserve better @Statefan10 . You're absolutely one of the most rational posters on this site.

 

[CoachHines3]

easier said than done-

let er' go. may make you sick now, but in the long run you will know its right

 

[1UNI2ISU]

Didn't know exactly where to post this, but have been needing to talk about it for some time and it's very hard to talk about. About a month ago, my wife out of the blue told me she was having second thoughts about us and our marriage. We've been together about 10 years and married 4 years. Being that it was so abrupt, I went a little nuts, not aggressive nuts, but emotionally nuts. I later found out through asking her and pressing her a bit that she was having an affair with a coworker.

This wasn't just a random coworker though, this was someone who was married as well, and my wife and I were very good friends and close with them. We did a lot of things together. Me and the guy also did a lot of things together: grabbed lunch, went golfing, grabbed a beer, etc. At one point, even had a heart to heart with him telling him that he has developed into one of my best friends.

My wife and him were having a "non-sexual, emotional affair, with some kissing", or at least that's essentially how my wife has described it to me. She also didn't flat out come clean to me when I asked either, she actually lied to me at first saying that she never cheated on me with him, she may just be in love with him. It took me pressing a bit before she told the truth. I also found out that almost every time they did kiss one another, this guy's wife and me were actually there at the time, whether that be at our house, their house or a party. (****** up right?) The "plan" was for the two of them to leave their spouses and then live happily ever after.

I also left out that I believed something was happening for a while. They were constantly communicating with one another whether that was through text message or snapchat. They would grab lunches on Fridays together or grab a happy hour drink together and if I got upset about it, I'd be gaslit as the jealous husband and it'd drive me crazy thinking that I could be that. But that ended up turning me into that monster exactly. Checking locations, always worrying if she was with him, etc. It got to the point where I was so insecure about myself that I just flat out asked her multiple times if she liked/loved him more than me and she would tell me I was crazy and "the only one for her". There was a time when we were all hanging out and I swear I saw them kiss and later confronted her about it, which she then swore to me nothing happened, rather they were hugging after talking about something emotional. I later found out that that night was their first time kissing.

So here's my pickle.. I'm willing to forgive my wife or at least work extremely hard through marriage counseling and my own therapy to figure out how to better myself in a bunch of ways, and she's been wishy washy on her feelings about wanting to try. These last few weeks have been so damn complicated and emotionally draining for me. And also confusing. There have been weird walking on egg shell moments and then there have been alright and even great moments with one another, but her behavior and emotions have been so bi-polar and change essentially hourly.

I've struggled with anxiety before but now it's like every waking moment and it's hard to even get through an entire day of work now. Essentially my entire life is invested into this relationship and even thinking a little bit about the fact of not being with her / starting over makes me sick.

That's very similar to how my marriage ended. I will tell you, with the gift of hindsight, don't be the only one that fights for it. All you do is wear yourself down, beat yourself up and ruin other parts of your life that bring you joy while she just goes through the motions with her mind already made up. The other thing, and it's really hard, is to tell yourself that it's nothing you did. Don't re-live every moment trying to find an answer and that's where therapy really helped me.

The healing sucks but you have to get into it to get out of it. Lean on the people you love and they will get you through it.

 

[3TrueFans]

Didn't know exactly where to post this, but have been needing to talk about it for some time and it's very hard to talk about. About a month ago, my wife out of the blue told me she was having second thoughts about us and our marriage. We've been together about 10 years and married 4 years. Being that it was so abrupt, I went a little nuts, not aggressive nuts, but emotionally nuts. I later found out through asking her and pressing her a bit that she was having an affair with a coworker.

This wasn't just a random coworker though, this was someone who was married as well, and my wife and I were very good friends and close with them. We did a lot of things together. Me and the guy also did a lot of things together: grabbed lunch, went golfing, grabbed a beer, etc. At one point, even had a heart to heart with him telling him that he has developed into one of my best friends.

My wife and him were having a "non-sexual, emotional affair, with some kissing", or at least that's essentially how my wife has described it to me. She also didn't flat out come clean to me when I asked either, she actually lied to me at first saying that she never cheated on me with him, she may just be in love with him. It took me pressing a bit before she told the truth. I also found out that almost every time they did kiss one another, this guy's wife and me were actually there at the time, whether that be at our house, their house or a party. (****** up right?) The "plan" was for the two of them to leave their spouses and then live happily ever after.

I also left out that I believed something was happening for a while. They were constantly communicating with one another whether that was through text message or snapchat. They would grab lunches on Fridays together or grab a happy hour drink together and if I got upset about it, I'd be gaslit as the jealous husband and it'd drive me crazy thinking that I could be that. But that ended up turning me into that monster exactly. Checking locations, always worrying if she was with him, etc. It got to the point where I was so insecure about myself that I just flat out asked her multiple times if she liked/loved him more than me and she would tell me I was crazy and "the only one for her". There was a time when we were all hanging out and I swear I saw them kiss and later confronted her about it, which she then swore to me nothing happened, rather they were hugging after talking about something emotional. I later found out that that night was their first time kissing.

So here's my pickle.. I'm willing to forgive my wife or at least work extremely hard through marriage counseling and my own therapy to figure out how to better myself in a bunch of ways, and she's been wishy washy on her feelings about wanting to try. These last few weeks have been so damn complicated and emotionally draining for me. And also confusing. There have been weird walking on egg shell moments and then there have been alright and even great moments with one another, but her behavior and emotions have been so bi-polar and change essentially hourly.

I've struggled with anxiety before but now it's like every waking moment and it's hard to even get through an entire day of work now. Essentially my entire life is invested into this relationship and even thinking a little bit about the fact of not being with her / starting over makes me sick.

Sounds like only one of you is actually interested in making it work and it's destroying your self-esteem and self-worth. The lying, gaslighting, etc. seems like straight up emotional abuse.

 

[Farnsworth]

Oh man that would be hard. I can't give much advice though because I'm usually the one in your wife's situation. My partners have always been rock solid, but I always had a wondering eye (not sexually at all) of the 'what if', 'what could be out there, or better'. This is with everything though, I just started an amazing job yesterday and already looking at what may be out there.

Are kids involved? I'm guessing not as it wasn't mentioned.

I went through a divorce with an amazing person probably 3 years ago or so. I would say let her go and slowly try to move on no matter how hard it seems now. It will take a lot of time, but you don't want to live thinking somethings going to happen either with that guy or another, the thought will always be there. Let her go off and be happy, you don't have to have hate for someone to say goodbye.

For myself and my wife, it just probably was never right, not a good fit. Like I said she's a great person, and after 3 years I can honestly be happy for her that she is in a new relationship after she recovered from the divorce. We want nothing but the best for each other.

Don't try to be friends though no matter how much you 'care' and 'shes my best friend', it'll just hurt like hell. We tried that for awhile and it just didn't work, I was emotionally beat for a long time.

Speaking of the 'what if' parts, I'm currently with someone I knew 20 years ago in High School and it's going great.

 

[Mr Janny]

That's very similar to how my marriage ended. I will tell you, with the gift of hindsight, don't be the only one that fights for it. All you do is wear yourself down, beat yourself up and ruin other parts of your life that bring you joy while she just goes through the motions with her mind already made up. The other thing, and it's really hard, is to tell yourself that it's nothing you did. Don't re-live every moment trying to find an answer and that's where therapy really helped me.

The healing sucks but you have to get into it to get out of it. Lean on the people you love and they will get you through it.

I agree, not out of personal experience, but out of seeing a close friend go through something similar. His wife of 10+ years came to him and said she was having an emotional affair with a co-worker. They hadn't done anything physical yet, beyond kissing, but they wanted to be together. My friend didn't want to lose his wife, and fought for the marriage. They ended up staying together... for a while. But the writing was on the wall. Even though they agreed to end the affair and stay together, they were divorced within 2 years, after. He didn't want to, but she never really let the idea go after it got into her head.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

Didn't know exactly where to post this, but have been needing to talk about it for some time and it's very hard to talk about. About a month ago, my wife out of the blue told me she was having second thoughts about us and our marriage. We've been together about 10 years and married 4 years. Being that it was so abrupt, I went a little nuts, not aggressive nuts, but emotionally nuts. I later found out through asking her and pressing her a bit that she was having an affair with a coworker.

This wasn't just a random coworker though, this was someone who was married as well, and my wife and I were very good friends and close with them. We did a lot of things together. Me and the guy also did a lot of things together: grabbed lunch, went golfing, grabbed a beer, etc. At one point, even had a heart to heart with him telling him that he has developed into one of my best friends.

My wife and him were having a "non-sexual, emotional affair, with some kissing", or at least that's essentially how my wife has described it to me. She also didn't flat out come clean to me when I asked either, she actually lied to me at first saying that she never cheated on me with him, she may just be in love with him. It took me pressing a bit before she told the truth. I also found out that almost every time they did kiss one another, this guy's wife and me were actually there at the time, whether that be at our house, their house or a party. (****** up right?) The "plan" was for the two of them to leave their spouses and then live happily ever after.

I also left out that I believed something was happening for a while. They were constantly communicating with one another whether that was through text message or snapchat. They would grab lunches on Fridays together or grab a happy hour drink together and if I got upset about it, I'd be gaslit as the jealous husband and it'd drive me crazy thinking that I could be that. But that ended up turning me into that monster exactly. Checking locations, always worrying if she was with him, etc. It got to the point where I was so insecure about myself that I just flat out asked her multiple times if she liked/loved him more than me and she would tell me I was crazy and "the only one for her". There was a time when we were all hanging out and I swear I saw them kiss and later confronted her about it, which she then swore to me nothing happened, rather they were hugging after talking about something emotional. I later found out that that night was their first time kissing.

So here's my pickle.. I'm willing to forgive my wife or at least work extremely hard through marriage counseling and my own therapy to figure out how to better myself in a bunch of ways, and she's been wishy washy on her feelings about wanting to try. These last few weeks have been so damn complicated and emotionally draining for me. And also confusing. There have been weird walking on egg shell moments and then there have been alright and even great moments with one another, but her behavior and emotions have been so bi-polar and change essentially hourly.

I've struggled with anxiety before but now it's like every waking moment and it's hard to even get through an entire day of work now. Essentially my entire life is invested into this relationship and even thinking a little bit about the fact of not being with her / starting over makes me sick.

I am so sorry this is happening. I won’t throw my thoughts on this but I would strongly encourage you to reach out to talk to someone regardless of if you go through marriage counseling. Check to see if your employer had an EAP program and they can get you into speak with someone very quickly with no financial cost to you. Sometimes it can be beneficial to work with someone about what you want/need out of a relationship before going to marriage counseling.

Again so sorry this happens and you 100% didn’t deserve this and you have value both inside and outside your relationship.

 

[madguy30]

I heard or read somewhere a while back that forgiveness isn't always necessary to move on and it kind of blew my mind, but made sense.

The person did you wrong and was awful, and didn't change, and it's best to cut them loose even though it's maybe the hardest thing to do.

 

[JustAnotherTimeline]

I heard or read somewhere a while back that forgiveness isn't always necessary to move on and it kind of blew my mind, but made sense.

The person did you wrong and was awful, and didn't change, and it's best to cut them loose even though it's maybe the hardest thing to do.

Bitterness will eat from the inside out. Forgiveness is the best cure. But forgiveness need not include reconciliation.

 

[madguy30]

Bitterness will eat from the inside out. Forgiveness is the best cure. But forgiveness need not include reconciliation.

Not forgiving doesn't mean to be bitter. Cut it loose and take care of yourself.