***Official Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 10-24-2019***

[jcyclonee]

This got me wondering how many dumb ratings I have. I guess I've only received two of them ever.

(I have a feeling this post will now be used as a bat signal for dumb ratings)

dumb rating

 

[Doc]

Question for next week...can I get arrested for requesting $0.69 from random hot chicks on Venmo?

 

[CloneLawman]

I'm going to post my rankings of all posters, one per day, starting with the worst and going all the way to #1.

6549. @cyrocksmy..... @CloneLawman

I rest my case. You just established that you should have credibility with no one.

 

[CloneLawman]

We know you don't live in DC. You live in CB.

Close, but no cigar.

 

[BoxsterCy]

I'm just here for the free pandering lessons.

 

[SCyclone]

1. GTO's ISUU response made me spray water all over my keyboard. Meh, it needed cleaning anyway.
2. One theory of why humans walk upright has to do with the move of them from forests to savannas. Changing to an upright position and raising the head (and eyes) is a huge evolutionary advantage when you need to see over tall grasses to locate game and - most importantly - predators.

Also makes it easier to see bewbs.

 

[jcyclonee]

Jcyclonee asks: Could you please make me some coffee? I'm tired of doing it myself every morning.
Pants: I have a french press, because I’m fancy AF. Does that work for you?
GTO: As a few people on here know, I don’t drink coffee. Can’t stand the taste or even the smell of it. At all. However, my wife LOVES coffee, so I keep up with the latest advancements in coffee brewing technology. Do you know that coffee makers can be set up on a timer to brew your coffee every morning? (this has been around for a while, dude). Or are you grinding your beans every morning?

A French press is great. I use one on the weekends. It looks like you'll be making my coffee.

Setting a timer on the coffee maker still means that I have to prepare the coffee the night before. I'm looking for more of a personal assistant than advice. You will not be making my coffee.

NWICY with a pair of unrelated questions that remind me of when someone is embarrassed to buy something so they add other items to their purchase: Us or the Pokes this weekend? I pick us.
Best strip joint you've ever been to?
GTO: I-S-U! I think OSU will score a few, but don’t think they have the consistency to keep it up all game. Best strip joint? Can’t say I’ve been to many. I hear people say that the strip clubs in Dallas are top notch, but I’m married with kids so I would rather spend my money elsewhere.
Pants: Us, though this one concerns me. OSU can pick up huge gains real quick, and I wasn’t overly happy about how we just continued to allow Tech to run off tackle like, all game long last week. And Best is a relative term. The most fun I’ve ever had was probably the aforementioned Hip Hugger. But the nicest was probably Deja Vu.

Go Twin Cities! Best dancing establishment according to this very scientific study.

Jcyclonee asks: I posted this in another thread that weird people hang out in (this is meant as a compliment towards those weird people - keep being weird).
Question - So I'm going to my first ISU football game since Chizek was the coach this upcoming weekend. Since I've outgrown my Teletubies outfit, what should I wear to the game?
Pants: I mean, the logical answer would be to dress up as a tornado, wouldn’t it? That, or Detective Pikachu.
GTO: School letters. You: Shirtless painted “I”. Then convince the son to go as shirtless painted “S”. Lastly, convince the wife to go as shirtless “U U”.

And what great U's they are. I wish I could see them every once in a while.

 

[NWICY]

Nice job gentlemen. Pants if you are referring to Deja Vu in the Twin Cities I have been to that establishment, back when The cities had the Minnesota Fighting Pike as a arena football team.

 

[NWICY]

By the way @Angie. You be my favorite poster.

 

[madguy30]

1. GTO's ISUU response made me spray water all over my keyboard. Meh, it needed cleaning anyway.
2. One theory of why humans walk upright has to do with the move of them from forests to savannas. Changing to an upright position and raising the head (and eyes) is a huge evolutionary advantage when you need to see over tall grasses to locate game and - most importantly - predators.

And eventually, scanning over crowds in bars trying to scope out potential mates.

 

[cyrocksmypants]

Nice job gentlemen. Pants if you are referring to Deja Vu in the Twin Cities I have been to that establishment, back when The cities had the Minnesota Fighting Pike as a arena football team.

It was that one, probably about 10 or so years ago? Though I believe Deja Vu is a chain strip club.

 

[cyclones500]

I'm going to post my rankings of all posters, one per day, starting with the worst and going all the way to #1.

6549. @cyrocksmy..... @CloneLawman

So w/ 6549 posters, this project will require about 18 years. I feel confident I won't have to check back for at least a couple of years to see where I ranked.

@Angie, however, will need to wait until 2037.

 

[cyclones500]

A French press is great.

I'd rank it third, behind a free press and a full-court press.

 

[VeloClone]

A French press is great. I use one on the weekends. It looks like you'll be making my coffee.

Setting a timer on the coffee maker still means that I have to prepare the coffee the night before. I'm looking for more of a personal assistant than advice. You will not be making my coffee.

...

Besides that, I'm pretty sure Pants' question in his response about "grinding your own beans" is code for something perverted.

 

[Angie]

By the way @Angie. You be my favorite poster.

So w/ 6549 posters, this project will require about 18 years. I feel confident I won't have to check back for at least a couple of years to see where I ranked.

@Angie, however, will need to wait until 2037.

I definitely do not deserve the affection - I'm a snarky a-hole half of the time, you guys are too kind to me.

I think everyone is burying the lead about the high-level of McHotdog insider information contained ITT by @cyrocksmypants , however. That's the REAL story here.

 

[cyrocksmypants]

I'd rank it third, behind a free press and a full-court press.

Just ahead of an iron press.

 

[CloneLawman]

I definitely do not deserve the affection - I'm a snarky a-hole half of the time, you guys are too kind to me.

I think everyone is burying the lead about the high-level of McHotdog insider information contained ITT by @cyrocksmypants , however. That's the REAL story here.

There is no higher authority on hotdogs--lips and ********! Pants definitely deserves credit for that.

 

[cyclones500]

Just ahead of an iron press.

Other candidates for top 10:
WordPress
Paul Pressey

 

[jcyclonee]

I definitely do not deserve the affection - I'm a snarky a-hole half of the time, you guys are too kind to me.

I think everyone is burying the lead about the high-level of McHotdog insider information contained ITT by @cyrocksmypants , however. That's the REAL story here.

Most of us here are snarky a-holes most of the time. You are that way only half of the time. You are generally better than us. That's why you are everybody's favorite.


Is this acceptable pandering or do I need to go further?

 

[cyrocksmypants]

Bumping for Oklahoma week. This week, with guest host @Gunnerclone so give us your worst! You’ve got until 10pm Monday. We even gave you one extra hour this weekend.