Serious question: Are kids worth it?

[2speedy1]

Absolutely!

But if they aren't your thing, it is fine to not have kids too.

Don't let anyone make the decision for you, this is something that you have to decide for yourself. There are so many variables that go with it, that you have to think about.

But if you decide to have kids, do the best you can to be the best parent you can, and remember Yes, Its Absolutely Worth it.

I think EVERY parent here can agree, the first time you hold your child, Everything changes, its not something someone can describe, but parents here will know what I mean.

 

[Dopey]

Older parents tend to be better emotionally prepared to deal with the 24/7 strain of parenting and understand the value of a functional adult relationship.

I was 28 and still feel like I was an unfairly impatient father to my first.

 

[CNECloneFan]

The more my friends keep popping out kids, the more ******** I hear about all the negatives. My wife and I are in our late 20’s and are eventually planning on starting a family, but everything I hear sounds terrible. For the parents on here, would you do it all again?

Emphatically YES!

 

[CYEATHAWK]

Absolutely!

But if they aren't your thing, it is fine to not have kids too.

Don't let anyone make the decision for you, this is something that you have to decide for yourself. There are so many variables that go with it, that you have to think about.

But if you decide to have kids, do the best you can to be the best parent you can, and remember Yes, Its Absolutely Worth it.

I think EVERY parent here can agree, the first time you hold your child, Everything changes, its not something someone can describe, but parents here will know what I mean.

Exactly speedy. The first time I held my first daughter.........what I thought was essential as a single person all of a sudden became incidental. Hard to describe if you have never been there done that. And I can't remember what it was to be single and what was important when I was. As they are leaving the nest, I'm trying to think what am I going to do with myself because you become so geared to NOT think that way.

 

[CYEATHAWK]

And then add into that.... we're living in a pandemic that has no signs of ending..... climate change seems to be destroying the planet at an ever accelerating pace..... homicides are off the charts..... etc, etc..... I sure would question having children right now.

Go ahead and tell me I'm always negative and over dramatic, but this world seems to not be going in the right direction at all.

Oh just stop! As if your ancestors and mine(the reason we are here)never faced lawlessness, war, pestilence, famine, drought or floods. Where would you be if they thought like you? You don't want to have kids........fine, it's not for everyone. But give the cheap poli-sci class BS a rest outside the cave.

 

[Cyclone27inQC]

Being a grandpa is awesome. If I knew how nice it was to have grandkids I would have skipped having my kids “damn teenager years”. Ha

 

[imaclone2]

Ask your parents.

 

[Nor'MidWester]

Bringing up a child in a sec=cfb world would be child abuse imo

 

[madguy30]

Ask your parents.

What does that have to do with it, since they're different people with different values and different perspectives from a different time?

Not having kids isn't a big deal in the life I live, but I find myself being more recluse from those my age that are parents as I get older...I would imagine I'd get a sideways look if I asked someone why they had kids (never would--don't care), so one would think it would be inappropriate to ask someone why they don't, but unfortunately happens way too often.

 

[Cychl82]

I was 28 and still feel like I was an unfairly impatient father to my first.

I was 36 when my son was born and he’s 3.5 now….after each day I just keep on asking for more patience each night within because it’s me not them.

 

[LarryISU]

I only have one child, wanted more but, it was not to be. But I am certain of this: being a Dad made me so much a better person, and brought into this world a person that I have loved (for 30 years) more than I ever thought that I could.

 

[cyfan92]

Before our first.. I was sleeping 9 hours a night, uninterrupted.. Our kiddo has never been a good sleeper and that's really been the hardest part for me. It still tests my patience. However, even when I;m super tired. There really isn't a better feeling than having your baby fall asleep in your arms! It's pure joy

I'll also admit that having a new born.. I found it hard to really attach to the kid in the first several months. My wife was a nursing and got to bond so much more than I did. Talking about that with other dad's and realizing that feeling can be "normal" is reassuring. There is no such thing as the perfect dad.

IMO, before you have kids... Find:

A great partner (single parenthood seems BRUTAL and you are a SAINT if you can do that).
Have disposable income (Kids cost more than you can budget for)
Really commit to what you priorities are
Have a local support system. Without two sets of grandparents close. We couldn't make this work

 

[mb7299]

Couldnt agree more about the bonding part for the first year really, they get more fun but your just kind of there taking up space a lot of the time to start. And also huge you have family nearby to help with little things that pop up. Grandparents are amazing.

 

[andybernard]

We just had our 3rd.

I'm a teacher, so obviously with that comes the summers off. My wife doesn't have that luxury, which means daddy daycare with a 5 yo, 3 yo, and 3 mo. I love it and wouldn't mind a 4th, but wife says probably not.

 

[cyfan92]

Couldnt agree more about the bonding part for the first year really, they get more fun but your just kind of there taking up space a lot of the time to start. And also huge you have family nearby to help with little things that pop up. Grandparents are amazing.

Ever since our kiddo started to crawl and now walk. It's been so much easier for me. Seemes silly thinking back on it. But it was a real struggle to start when mom is all they need.

I was basically a servant for my wife for 6 months. That was also a change, even though I knew it was coming. It's different when you live in it

 

[cowgirl836]

This! 100% correct.

We decided early on we didn’t want to have kids. We’ve traveled and lived all over the world. We’ve been able to see and do things that we probably wouldn’t have been able to do with kids. Would I change any of it? Not for a second.

On the flip side, if we had kids, we would’ve had a fulfilling life as well and wouldn’t have regretted that either. We would’ve loved and raised them to the absolute best we could’ve. To fill any potential emotional voids, we’ve had dogs and basically raised them like our kids.

There are many ways to live a fulfilling life (with or without kids). It all depends on the individual situation and personal goals. Life is too short to have regrets.

I think this is the best post in here. There is no one way to live a happy life and no one path to your own happy life. Our 2nd will be six weeks tomorrow and the first turned 3 this weekend. It goes so fast and I do love it despite what we've given up. But I also know in an alternate timeline where we didn't have kids, we'd also have a happy and fulfilling life. Do what you want, not what you're told you should want.

 

[cowgirl836]

Before our first.. I was sleeping 9 hours a night, uninterrupted.. Our kiddo has never been a good sleeper and that's really been the hardest part for me. It still tests my patience. However, even when I;m super tired. There really isn't a better feeling than having your baby fall asleep in your arms! It's pure joy

I'll also admit that having a new born.. I found it hard to really attach to the kid in the first several months. My wife was a nursing and got to bond so much more than I did. Talking about that with other dad's and realizing that feeling can be "normal" is reassuring. There is no such thing as the perfect dad.

IMO, before you have kids... Find:

A great partner (single parenthood seems BRUTAL and you are a SAINT if you can do that).
Have disposable income (Kids cost more than you can budget for)
Really commit to what you priorities are
Have a local support system. Without two sets of grandparents close. We couldn't make this work

Friends once complained their baby didn't sttn tiln3 months and I bit my tongue so hard. Mine was 18 months before he stopped waking multiple times.

 

[cyfan92]

Friends once complained their baby didn't sttn tiln3 months and I bit my tongue so hard. Mine was 18 months before he stopped waking multiple times.

We are past 12 months and on good nights it's once. Bad nights I lose track. The cry to sleep just doesn't work for either party past a couple of minutes

 

[cowgirl836]

We are past 12 months and on good nights it's once. Bad nights I lose track. The cry to sleep just doesn't work for either party past a couple of minutes

Yeah mine would puke within 10 min so we had to quit that after 2 tries. He went to sleep in his own bed tonight and generally sleeps 11 solid hours now so I hope there's hope for you. It's ******* hard when you're in it though. The newborn is currently doing 3 4 hour chunks and I'm like this isn't bad in comparison!!

 

[SouthJerseyCy]

Being a grandpa is awesome. If I knew how nice it was to have grandkids I would have skipped have my kids “damn teenager years”. Ha

^^ THIS ^^ We had kids too young IMO and before we were emotionally and financially ready. The good news is after 25-years of digging out of that hole, I've now got the time, patience and money to spoil my grandkids.