You can count on the Ketelmeister..here are a few
A Hawkeye fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Iowa's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Iowa campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Hawkeye cheerleaders back on board.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man enters a bar & orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The
robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail & then asks him, “What’s
your IQ?â€
The man replies “162″ & the robot proceeds to make conversation about
global warming factors, quantum physics & spirituality, biochemistry,
environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology & sexual proclivities.
The customer is very impressed & thinks, “This is really cool.†He
decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around & comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink & asks him, “What’s your IQ?†The man responds, “about a 100.â€
Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns & women’s body
parts.
Really impressed, the man leaves the bar & decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out & returns; the robot serves him & asks, “What’s your IQ?†The man replies, “Er, 50, I think.†The robot says… real slowly, “So.. how.. bout.. them.. Hawkeyes?â€
-----------------------------------------------------------
What is the difference between a Hawkeye fan and a puppy?
Eventually, the puppy will quit whining!
---------------------------------------------------------
Three guys, a Hawkeye Fan, a UNI fan and an Iowa State fan are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give each of you one wish, that’s three wishes total,†says the Genie. The UNI fan says, “I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Iowa.†With a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’ the land in Iowa was forever made fertile for farming.
The Hawkeye fan was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around Iowa CIty, so that no Cyclones, Panthers or Northwestern Wildcats can come into our precious city.†Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’ there was a huge wall around Iowa City.
The Cyclone Fan (a civil engineer), asks, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.†The Genie explains, “Well, it’s about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds Iowa City; nothing can get in or out — virtually impenetrable.â€
The Cyclone fan says, “Fill it with water.â€
--------------------------------------------------------------
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Iowa joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Iowa grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Iowa grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Iowa grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Out in Oakland they have an real-life Iowa joke. His name is Robert Gallery.
Q: How many University of Iowa freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q. What did the Iowa graduate say to the Iowa State graduate?
A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"
It was reported that Iowa head football coach Kirk Ferentz will only be dressing twenty players for the Iowa State game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Iowa grad, an Iowa State grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!" Seeing this, the Iowa State grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Cyclones!" and pushed the Hawkeyes fan off the side of the mountain.