Need Help...Hawkeye Jokes....

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Flag Guy

Well-Known Member
Mar 2, 2007
12,560
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I posted this in another thread, but here you go...

herkycopy.jpg

Nice, except for the Hawkeye with Grey Goose... a little too classy for Herky isn't it?
 

Covenant Clone

Well-Known Member
Aug 30, 2006
2,931
124
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Clive
Due to recent developments in Iowa City, The Hawkeye football team has decided to follow the honor system.

Yes your Honor, No your Honor.
 

CYdTracked

Well-Known Member
Mar 23, 2006
16,950
7,649
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Grimes, IA
Got an email this morning that had several of these jokes and a few dumb ones not worth posting but here's one I got a chuckle out of:

Out in Oakland they have an real-life Iowa joke. His name is Robert Gallery.
 

neo

Member
Aug 23, 2007
206
0
16
Thanks guys... Keep it coming.. Hey Neo whats the picture on the jumbo tron under your name.

It's the scoreboard after the 23-3 game. On the scoreboard is a picture of EIU's equipment trailer on which is painted, "How 'bout those Hawkeyes."
 

cowboycurtis

Well-Known Member
Jul 20, 2006
1,217
415
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Nice, except for the Hawkeye with Grey Goose... a little too classy for Herky isn't it?

Bowman and Douglas had pictures of them with grey goose. It is too classy for them but when you steal it i guess you go for the good stuff instead of korski.
 

ketelmeister

Well-Known Member
Oct 24, 2006
4,269
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You can count on the Ketelmeister..here are a few


A Hawkeye fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

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Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Iowa's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Iowa campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Hawkeye cheerleaders back on board.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man enters a bar & orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The
robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail & then asks him, “What’s
your IQ?â€

The man replies “162″ & the robot proceeds to make conversation about
global warming factors, quantum physics & spirituality, biochemistry,
environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology & sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed & thinks, “This is really cool.†He
decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around & comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink & asks him, “What’s your IQ?†The man responds, “about a 100.â€

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns & women’s body
parts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar & decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out & returns; the robot serves him & asks, “What’s your IQ?†The man replies, “Er, 50, I think.†The robot says… real slowly, “So.. how.. bout.. them.. Hawkeyes?â€

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What is the difference between a Hawkeye fan and a puppy?

Eventually, the puppy will quit whining!

---------------------------------------------------------

Three guys, a Hawkeye Fan, a UNI fan and an Iowa State fan are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give each of you one wish, that’s three wishes total,†says the Genie. The UNI fan says, “I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Iowa.†With a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’ the land in Iowa was forever made fertile for farming.

The Hawkeye fan was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around Iowa CIty, so that no Cyclones, Panthers or Northwestern Wildcats can come into our precious city.†Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’ there was a huge wall around Iowa City.

The Cyclone Fan (a civil engineer), asks, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.†The Genie explains, “Well, it’s about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds Iowa City; nothing can get in or out — virtually impenetrable.â€

The Cyclone fan says, “Fill it with water.â€

--------------------------------------------------------------

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Iowa joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Iowa grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Iowa grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Iowa grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Out in Oakland they have an real-life Iowa joke. His name is Robert Gallery.

Q: How many University of Iowa freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.


Q. What did the Iowa graduate say to the Iowa State graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

It was reported that Iowa head football coach Kirk Ferentz will only be dressing twenty players for the Iowa State game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Iowa grad, an Iowa State grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!" Seeing this, the Iowa State grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Cyclones!" and pushed the Hawkeyes fan off the side of the mountain.
 

tube1

Well-Known Member
Oct 19, 2006
2,144
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Why did the Hawkeye fan put his car in the oven?

He wanted a 'hot rod'!

:biglaugh:
 

bellzisu

Well-Known Member
Apr 15, 2006
6,917
565
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Norwalk
Neo, if you have that as a picture... Post it up will you... I would like to send a reminder the them Hawk fans....
 

neo

Member
Aug 23, 2007
206
0
16
I can't find it. Is it stored on the CF server as the minuscule version we all see or is it simply rendered that way? Jeremy?
 

ISU_phoria

Well-Known Member
Apr 10, 2006
2,309
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44
Andover, MN
This one's kinda long.....

An ISU fan and his smokin' girlfriend walk into a bar in Iowa City, sit down at the bar and order a glass of wine. Everyone in the bar becomes dead silent and they begin to stare at the couple.

The bartender smiles with a toothless grin at the man and says "Wine?, This is Iowa City, we don't serve no wine here! Where are you two from anyhow?"

The man replies "we're from Ames"

"What kinda work you do up there in Ames, son?" asks the bartender

"I'm a taxadermist" replies the man

"A what?" replies the bartender suspiciously

"A tax-a-derm-ist" replies the man, "I mount animals"

"Yeeeeehaaaaw" screams the bartender, and then yells to everyone else in the bar, "it's OK boys, he's one of us!"
 

clones_jer

Well-Known Member
Apr 16, 2006
8,349
393
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IA
A Hawkeye fan, a Cyclone fan, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar ....

Bartender says "What is this? some kinda joke?"
 

flander1649

Well-Known Member
Apr 20, 2006
1,981
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Kansas City
Visit site
  • A kindergarten teacher explains to her class that she is an Iowa
    Hawkeye. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Hawkeyes too.

    No one really knows what a Hawkeye is, but wanting to be like their teacher
    their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one
    exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher
    asks her why she has decided to be different.

    “Because I’m not a Hawkeye.”

    “Then,” asks the teacher, “what are you?”

    “Why, I’m a proud Iowa State Cyclone,” boasts the little girl.

    The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen
    why she is a Cyclone.

    “Well, my mom and dad are Cyclones, so I’m a Cyclone too.”

    The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your
    mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”

    “Then,” says Kristen, “I’d be a Hawkeye.”
 

clones_jer

Well-Known Member
Apr 16, 2006
8,349
393
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44
IA
  • A kindergarten teacher explains to her class that she is an Iowa
    Hawkeye. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Hawkeyes too.

    No one really knows what a Hawkeye is, but wanting to be like their teacher
    their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one
    exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher
    asks her why she has decided to be different.

    “Because I’m not a Hawkeye.â€

    “Then,†asks the teacher, “what are you?â€

    “Why, I’m a proud Iowa State Cyclone,†boasts the little girl.

    The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen
    why she is a Cyclone.

    “Well, my mom and dad are Cyclones, so I’m a Cyclone too.â€

    The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,†she says loudly. “What if your
    mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?â€

    “Then,†says Kristen, “I’d be a Hawkeye.â€

BEST SIMILE EVER! :yes: