Thanks for saying that. Yes, it was literally a shock. The vet assured me the whole time he was never even in a little bit of pain. He probably just kinda felt "icky" like we would if we had the flu. I'm thankful he didn't suffer and we got to do it in a peaceful way, even if it came on quickly. I know lots of people don't get that benefit.
I couldn't believe how the grief just came out of me. Like I said, I am NOT a crier or emotional person at all. But once I knew he wasn't going to get better, I just couldn't stop crying. It would just hit me in waves for a few days. Like, I was cutting up an apple for my lunch a few days later, then I remembered how he'd always come sit by me when I was doing that and I'd toss him a slice. The sadness would hit me and the tears would flow.
I had never really lost a friend before (human or animal). So, in a way, it was a healthy grieving process for me. We read some kids books with our daughter (who was 5 at the time) and I read "A Dog's Purpose" which helped. Not that we took him for granted at all, because we loved him dearly, but it really made me realize how much he meant to me. I felt really bad because he was our only child for 5 years, but then as kids came along, he got lots of love, but less attention than he had early on. Even though he curled up on my lap every day, he didn't get as many walks as he should, or as much "fun stuff." I'll definitely do more of those things when we get another one.