do's and don'ts of the best man's wedding speech

[Agclone91]

Definitely a "know your crowd" moment but one of the funniest I've witnessed. The best man brought 7 or 8 keys to the wedding and handed them out to some older ladies (50-70ish) that were willing to play along. He gave the standard speech then ended it with a line about how in his earlier years the groom got around, but the bride had locked him down now and it was time for all of his previous girlfriends to give up their keys to his place. Then all of the older ladies stood up and brought the keys to the head table.

 

[BCClone]

I am also doing this in a few months for the first time. Following the thread but nothing said is world shattering.

The big discussion is do I bring up or do something with the Maid of Honor, the sister of the bride, and it's been a running joke for several years that we should date/marry. I'm leaning no since it's too inside of a joke at this point.

I would say you should do something with the maid of honor, just not infront of everyone.

 

[throwittoblythe]

Yeah, I've been to some weddings where the "mic time" was a bit much (dads, best man, maid of honor, sisters, etc) and I've seen similar to what you shared....more a short courtship and all speeches had a weird "haven't known them long, but seem to be a great fit"

One wedding I was in, I was not the best man. The best man/maid of honor did their speeches which were fine. But then one other bridesmaid asked if she could say a few words. Then the rest of the bridesmaids felt like they each had to say something. It turned into just like you say “uh, yeah, Jack and Jill are awesome and I super love both of you and wish you the best.”

 

[EvilBetty]

Thanks for all the advice. Although I'm not sure I've ever been more nervous (I have gained some anxiety issues since my youth), I would say it was very successful, and I hope I never have to do another one.

-kept it under 5min
-practiced out loud probably 30 times
-stayed sober (which I know the bride appreciated, as she knows Im an alcoholic
-eliminated the fart story the wife actually requested i include
started sentimental but then got the crown rolling with some funny pg stories about the two of them and the 3 of us. put a ribbon on the whole thing with a call-back joke from the beginning and had a short cheeky poem to finish as the toast to them.

I would say 20+ total people (a mix from each side) told me what a fantastic speech it was a few even said it was the best they've ever heard.

 

[EvilBetty]

I am also doing this in a few months for the first time. Following the thread but nothing said is world shattering.

The big discussion is do I bring up or do something with the Maid of Honor, the sister of the bride, and it's been a running joke for several years that we should date/marry. I'm leaning no since it's too inside of a joke at this point.

If you are an anxious person, practice a ton. it really helped me. Take up some simple note cards in case you lose your place. I actually highlighted 3 or 4 critical points so i couldn't miss them. I held the mic on the lower part of my chin to ensure consistent volume.

I wish I would have had maybe 1 or two beers beforehand. I only had 1 beer during dinner so I had something to toast with.

 

[EvilBetty]

If you're worried about what you're going to say or stumbling over your words or whatever just hang your **** out of your fly right before you stand up. No one will be talking about your boring speech or your awful toast. Total power move.

when I took speech class at isu, my instructor said that when she was in speech class as an undergrad, she saw a student that was so nervous he unknowingly started zipping and unzipping his zipper as he gave the speech. I was joking with all of the family the night before, that all I had to do was better than that.

 

[HOTDON]

when I took speech class at isu, my instructor said that when she was in speech class as an undergrad, she saw a student that was so nervous he unknowingly started zipping and unzipping his zipper as he gave the speech. I was joking with all of the family the night before, that all I had to do was better than that.

My senior year I picked up American Indian Studies, which was mostly freshmen. Dude was giving a speech on Geronimo. He said 'Geramino', Gernamino' and 'Ger-AY-mino' at different points and right in the middle very conspicuously noticed his own fly was down. I thought for sure it was a joke. I fully expected the instructor (the late Dr. Cecil White Hat, who was fantastic) to go full 70's littering commercial and have a tear running down his cheek when I looked over.

 

[carvers4math]

Thanks for all the advice. Although I'm not sure I've ever been more nervous (I have gained some anxiety issues since my youth), I would say it was very successful, and I hope I never have to do another one.

-kept it under 5min
-practiced out loud probably 30 times
-stayed sober (which I know the bride appreciated, as she knows Im an alcoholic
-eliminated the fart story the wife actually requested i include
started sentimental but then got the crown rolling with some funny pg stories about the two of them and the 3 of us. put a ribbon on the whole thing with a call-back joke from the beginning and had a short cheeky poem to finish as the toast to them.

I would say 20+ total people (a mix from each side) told me what a fantastic speech it was a few even said it was the best they've ever heard.

Congratulations! Sounds like you found the right tone for a diverse group.

I have been asked to either read one of the readings or sing at weddings before and always have been more nervous when I know the couple well. Like I don’t want to be the one who ruined their wedding and have to hear them talk about it for years.

 

[jbclone10]

Similar advice as listed for anyone that gets asked to be an officiant. I've done it once and it was for close family.

I created a personalize script for the bride and groom and read it through with them months in advance. We added a small joke for the groom's best friend (and one of the readers) into the ceremony to lighten the mood and relax the couple.

I probably read through that script in my head over 100 times and out loud nearly as much because I didn't want to mess up. Practice. Practice. Practice (we talking about practice!).

Prior to the wedding while we were all getting ready I limited myself to one drink. No reason to get silly or make an ass of yourself.

I worked with the sound team/guy prior to the ceremony to do some volume checks... We were outside with a noisy creek behind us.

There was other prep work but those were the main ones I can remember.

 

[Pope]

Just don't be like every other best man speech where you talk about the groom's sexual escapade with @CoachHines3's mom.

 

[ISUTex]

It is my first time doing this. I'm really nervous I am going to screw this up. got any advice?

step 1: be sober

Don't bring up anything that will piss off the bride or humiliate your buddy.