Coaches who bully and harass kids

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by CycloneVet, Jul 8, 2019.

  1. CycloneVet

    CycloneVet Well-Known Member

    Jul 17, 2011
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    Hey I was just looking for some advice on a situation that I hoped that my family would not have to experience.

    My 13 year old was on a travel baseball team this year for the 3rd year in a row and this is a team I have coached the past 2 years and handed it over to another guy who really wanted to do it who had helped me coach for the 1st 2 years.

    Long story short he picked on my son all season. We documented all things he has said to him from he is too slow not good enough doesn’t have a good enough arm. Stuff beyond hard coaching. I am fine with motivational tactics but not so much with extra stuff like this.

    The thing is this guy seems to hate me for whatever reason. He got into my face during a game last year because I coached the pitchers and they weren’t throwing enough strikes. I should have known better than to have my son play for him.

    My wife initially talked to him, it didn’t stop, I talked to him and then had the owners of the club we play out of talk to him. Multiple parents have reported him to the club. Now there is a new owner of the club and we have been in touch with what had occurred. She is goin got get his side of the story. We aren’t going back to this team but tbh I don’t want him to do this to other kids.

    Do I have any ability for legal action in a bullying/harassment type of case? I feel like we have gone through the right channels and nothing has stopped this guys behavior. He should not be able to coach kids which is what I want to prevent. Any advice would be appreciated.
     
  2. IASTATE07

    IASTATE07 Well-Known Member
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    The guy sounds like a piece of ****. Does he do it to other kids? It sounds like he's trying to run you and your kid off.
     
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  3. mj4cy

    mj4cy Asst. Regional Manager
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    Some of the comments you mentioned while a dbag thing to say, probably don't come off as harassment to me. If it were me, I'd just take the high road and move on. This guy is always going to be the way you describe.
     
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  4. Gonzo

    Gonzo Well-Known Member

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    Have you gotten or can you get video of the guy bullying or verbally abusing kids/players?
     
  5. CycloneVet

    CycloneVet Well-Known Member

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    He did it to another one mostly. Multiple people witnessed him screaming at this kid in the dugout about how the coaches are giving up on him. I played baseball all the way through high school and it’s hard enough without that ****.

    I know he is trying to run us off which is fine. But my son is the nicest kid, he maybe a limited athletically but some kids have to shave on the team and are well into puberty and he hasn’t even started. I want him to at least grow before he gives up on the sport because he can hit which is the hardest part of the game.
     
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  6. CycloneVet

    CycloneVet Well-Known Member

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    No the worst games were the games we weren’t there. Also once the adults started calling him to the carpet then it didn’t happen when anybody was around like at practice etc.
     
  7. dualthreat

    dualthreat Well-Known Member

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    Unless his actions are really extreme, this is the best advice. But if that's the case, several parents should be on board with his firing or worse.
     
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  8. Clonefan32

    Clonefan32 Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure there is anything that irks me more than ***hole parents/coaches thinking they can act this way in the name of "hard coaching" or "toughening someone up". For some reason we've allowed overweight, broke, dead-end job working, and likely sexually frustrated middle-aged men to take out their frustrations on little kids. Life sucks, so go yell at little Timmy for dipping his shoulder.

    In no realm of society that I operate in is it acceptable to harshly criticize or belittle. That is not the behavior of a functioning adult. You can say your toughening up kids, but what you're breeding is a little clone ***hole of yourself. Coaching is about communication, and just like you're teaching them about the skills and tactics of a game, you are teaching them how to effectively communicate with another person.

    To anyone who had moderate success in athletics, you look back on youth sports and have a good laugh. It was funny how much it meant then, and how little it means now. Even high school sports. It meant the world to you then, but man is it all pretty meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Sports are good for making some friends, developing some healthy habits, and having a constructive way to spend your time. That's about it. And its no-talent *** clowns like this guy that ruins all those things.
     
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  9. BryceC

    BryceC Well-Known Member

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    Honestly just leave and join a different club. There are a million of them. I'm not competitive as a lot of people, and my kids aren't either, but one below the belt comment and I would have been out of there.

    If you have a good relationship with the other parents who have complained, just have everybody move. The club losing a lot of players (and lets be honest, the real issue, money) would do everything that needs to be done to remove this guy from coaching.
     
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  10. dualthreat

    dualthreat Well-Known Member

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    This is the absolute worst part about youth sports. Do you even have to have a coaching auth? Most of the time it's just parents coaching and many of them have zero regard for the kids well-being outside of their own child and take a "win at all costs" approach.
     
  11. CycloneVet

    CycloneVet Well-Known Member

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    This guy is Jim Rome’s definition of softball guy
     
  12. VeloClone

    VeloClone Well-Known Member

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    At least one parent should be at practices - especially if there are concerns. I coach and there are very few practices where there isn't at least one parent hanging around. Frankly, I like it better if there is since there is one disinterested witness if there are any allegations put forth. If you try to sit at a distance from practices observing and he tells you you can't that is a huge red flag and should not be tolerated by the club.
     
  13. ClonesTwenty1

    ClonesTwenty1 Well-Known Member

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    Why don’t you just go and punch him in the throat instead?
     
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  14. CycloneVet

    CycloneVet Well-Known Member

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    Seriously?
     
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  15. ClonesTwenty1

    ClonesTwenty1 Well-Known Member

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    Obviously kidding. Joking aside I don’t like coaches that choose favorites either.
     
  16. CycloneVet

    CycloneVet Well-Known Member

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    He is guilty of that
     
  17. srjclone

    srjclone Well-Known Member

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    If this is the case and the coach is straight up saying he is not good enough, won't have a strong enough arm, and will never be good enough.. that is not tough coaching. As a person who is coaching adolescence/kids going through puberty, you have to know there will be physical differences you simply cannot change/coach out of someone.

    Him saying stuff to the extent of him never being able to be good enough before your son has even hit puberty is bush league and he shouldn't be coaching (at all) kids this age.

    I had kids who told me I only pitched/played because my dad was a coach (assistant) and that stung me enough, even though it wasn't the case. I couldn't imagine what it's like for your son if his coach is going even past that line.
     
  18. JP4CY

    JP4CY Well-Known Member
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    It's funny that you try and act like the tough guy.
     
  19. JP4CY

    JP4CY Well-Known Member
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    This part is a little concerning. Are those people silent about this to his face?
     
  20. IceCyIce

    IceCyIce Well-Known Member

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    "Coaches" that yell, scream intimidate and belittle are not coaches. I've found this type to know very little about the sport and nothing about coaching. He feels like winning is a personal achievement for which he should get "Credit" for.

    If you don't pull your son from the toxic atmosphere he will most likely quit the sport.
     
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