As his assistant, I will gladly tell you guys his pros and cons.
Cons
-Better things seem to happen when he is on vacation/isn't around.
-0 stars on rivals
-Receding hairline (I think)
-Enjoys The Bachelor
-Not willing to try new things/uncoachable (Won't play mafia, bring back CyBookie)
Pros
-If he is on our team and we send him on a vacation for 6 months, easy national championship
-I, too, have 0 stars on rivals, and am widely viewed as the best CF pick up player
-Lebron James has a receding hairline
-Grew up a Cyclone fan
-The last time we had a player with "Chris" in his name, he was a three-point threat, original gangster that all the ladies wanted, and all the guys were jealous of.