Youth Sports and some Questions

[isucy86]

thanks for not answering a thing I asked. why reply?

He really did answer your 50 questions with one concise answer. With youth sports today there are club teams, parent led and rec. Clubs (at least in DM area) may pay coaches $1500-$3000 (depending on sport). So most of the better coaches will go club vs. rec. The exception is a parent led team where the coach has a kid on the team.

In a sport like soccer, which is just becoming popular, many coaches never played the sport. They may have a kid on the team and have been drafted to coach. The other societal reality is expectations of parents and athletes differs between boys and girls- at least up to about middle school. The social aspect plays a bigger part in the parents and kids reason to PLAY.

 

[twojman]

Often time the problem you are a babysitter as a coach. Usually never support or practice with parents after. I am a fan of fundamentals - if not why coach. I always had a rule - coaching girls youth softball. You never throw like a girl - you either throw right or you throw wrong. We are here to help you throw right, so you do not get hurt. If your parents or family tell you that you throw like a girl - invite them to practice. That was fun at the next practice.

Yeah, I am coaching my sons U7 soccer team. (I've coached soccer several years and other sports as well.) Of the 6 kids I have 4 with behavioral issues. I talked with the parents before the season about improvement and warned we were probably going to lose some like 20-0 but we will get better.

They are getting better and I have had parents stay at practice now and that has helped curb the behavior issues some. I sent a message to all parents saying it was a problem. I've had parents compliment the kids on their improvement so far.

Sorry for the ramble. The point is this can be both rewarding and challenging. I really love watching my kids improve on my team and that is all I am pushing for at this age, not to develop into all stars. All of my teams have enjoyed their time at they know they have gotten better....and I love it.

 

[Clonehomer]

My son had his first rec soccer game of the season today. He's had consistently 10 kids or so at every practice. We get to the game and he has 18 kids on his team. I guess the kids that don't show up have conflicts with flag football practice so they are just showing up to the games this fall. I know it is just the rec league, but it sucks that parents put a volunteer coach in a situation like that to either play them or tell them they can't play.

 

[Gossamer]

He really did answer your 50 questions with one concise answer. With youth sports today there are club teams, parent led and rec. Clubs (at least in DM area) may pay coaches $1500-$3000 (depending on sport). So most of the better coaches will go club vs. rec. The exception is a parent led team where the coach has a kid on the team.

In a sport like soccer, which is just becoming popular, many coaches never played the sport. They may have a kid on the team and have been drafted to coach. The other societal reality is expectations of parents and athletes differs between boys and girls- at least up to about middle school. The social aspect plays a bigger part in the parents and kids reason to PLAY.

um...no he didn't but splitting hairs. Also, your thoughts on soccer just becoming popular nullifies most of what you said in my opinion.

Also, your comments about boys and girls is ridiculous. In fact, most of your second paragraph is off the rails...but I appreciate the discussion, nonetheless.

 

[JMA1125]

My SO and I own a competitive sports team. And from the OP, this sounds like a rec league team with free coaching from volunteers. We pay our asst coaches $13-$15 per hour, and expect a level of coaching many floors above your situation. @3TrueFans answered your question perfectly.

We will travel to Canada, SanFran, WI (2x), all before April. That is outside of the normal schedule for competition, so our most competitive and dedicated families will travel to these higher level competitions. Easy math terms 10/150 kids will travel to each of those meets. The other 140 are dedicated, and wonderful, but don't have the talent above local/regional measurements. We teach them all, and offer skills inside the sport and out.

EDIT: we have kicked off families due to parents (we hate doing it as we love the kids) ... we will work with them for quite a while. But they don't change. I won't judge you from your posts in this thread, but you may want to evaluate what you see in practice from your child (most parents aren't there), against your expectations.

Because what we see in competition matches exactly what we see in effort, attendance, and follow through. Yet parents will blame us... and we are okay with that, but it is a huge blind spot for that family

What sport does your club participate in?

 

[StormnClone58]

My son had his first rec soccer game of the season today. He's had consistently 10 kids or so at every practice. We get to the game and he has 18 kids on his team. I guess the kids that don't show up have conflicts with flag football practice so they are just showing up to the games this fall. I know it is just the rec league, but it sucks that parents put a volunteer coach in a situation like that to either play them or tell them they can't play.

I feel your pain. Im the coach of an U10 soccer team and consistently never have more than 8 of my 12 players at practice. I have tried to make other arrangments but between my own schedule, kids in football, taekwondo, swim and so on it is a major challenge.

The regulars i do have are the ones performing in games, while the others watch the wind blow, and cant remember which direct their supposed to go.

As others have indicated, rec sports has become about socializing and unpaid babysitting. My first interaction with my team this yr was an open invite to all parents to seek help during practice, i have yet to have a single parent help me since the season began.

 

[StormnClone58]

To further answer your questions, being a volunteer is never easy, and thus the reason it is difficult to find them. Congrats on taking that step and doing it as much as you can. Unfortunately you're in the tough situation with your daughter where your hands are tied, unless your willing to take that step up to competitive. I did see you post about saying she isnt good enough or has the interest to be good. Does she strive to be better or play against better competition? Would playing for another club be an option? Or playing up an age level within your rec league?

I will say though, that not recognizing fundamentals and continuing to ignore them is ridiculous. From my own stand point, we are provided with practice items from our clubs directors on what to work on during our practices. I take these into consideration when figuring out what i want to work on with my team during our time together.

 

[BigBake]

My kids (14 and 11) have played a bunch of rec and travel teams and I've coached assisted on several.

One big thing that hasn't been mentioned yet (and addresses your original question) is the biggest difference between rec and a higher level. At the Rec level many times there are "playing time must be equal". I've encountered it numerous times and it seriously handcuffs you as a coach. How do you teach effort when a kid is required to participate in a certain amount of the game.

 

[BigBake]

On the coach thing that's even tougher. There are so few good coaches out there. Even some coaches who think they are good are not a lot of times. I've seen some really really bad coaches at the travel/competitive level.

 

[StormnClone58]

My kids (14 and 11) have played a bunch of rec and travel teams and I've coached assisted on several.

One big thing that hasn't been mentioned yet (and addresses your original question) is the biggest difference between rec and a higher level. At the Rec level many times there are "playing time must be equal". I've encountered it numerous times and it seriously handcuffs you as a coach. How do you teach effort when a kid is required to participate in a certain amount of the game.

This, so much. As previously said, i have problems with getting numbers to practice, but the ones who consistently show up i know what to expect, and how to work with them. However i have a few kids ive never met before the first game, show up and ask me how to do simple things or where they should stand.

 

[I-stateTheTruth]

So you live in a place where you have plenty of options that's probably good. I just know a lot of my friends from smaller towns were "all-state" at sports but didn't play the sport well, because there weren't any developmental opportunities where they were from.

The contrast in opportunities in areas can really be stark. Where we live there are 3 general levels of hoops - rec, travel and AAU and within them, there are differences as well. My daughter is not so into sports but enjoys rec soccer for the fitness and fun. My son takes his hoops very seriously and has played on many different teams -- the realities of their practices and expectations of practices are logically very different.

I still think rec sports should try to teach the fundamentals and, in my daughter's rec soccer case, they do.

But some kids don't have access to these various strata of competitiveness in small communities, unfortunately.

The douchiest behavior of parents, from what I've seen, is toward referees. Kids walk away thinking they lost because of the refs, mostly because their parents are blind to their kids' own actions.

 

[I-stateTheTruth]

Hmm. So FSU went down to NCSU today too? Interesting to see the pretenders being separated from the contenders now that conference play has started.

Edit: lol. Wrong thread, I guess. Haha!

Did everyone on FSU get equal playing time and a 'good job' at the end?

 

[NWICY]

I think the OP should offer to coach if he/she has all the answers. My guess is the coach might not even want to be doing it, but is doing it because nobody else would step up.

I coached my kids when they were that age, or a bit younger, and after each game I'd have all these dads telling me how to do my job, so I always told them they could have the job if they wanted it. I was volunteering and helping out because they couldn't find anyone to do it.

I literally had dads drawing up plays for me to run in basketball, of course to get their kid the ball. No wonder they can't find anyone to volunteer anymore.

I'd say about 60% of parents, mostly dads, are terrible about this kind of stuff. Yes, it's gotten to be that high of a number IMO. Really sad.

Damn read their post, he/she is already coaching his/her other kids teams, he is just disappointed in his eldest's coach.He is also wondering what should/and can be expected from a coach.

 

[Gossamer]

with some of the comments here, you'd think we were in the cave. I wish we could all sit around and have a beer to discuss, I think it would elicit different responses.

for those that actually read my questions and my posts, thanks for the feedback, even if we don't agree. Good to get different opinions.

 

[CRCy]

If it's not a competitive team you're taking it too seriously, if it is a competitive team and you're not happy find a new one.

My kids (14 and 11) have played a bunch of rec and travel teams and I've coached assisted on several.

One big thing that hasn't been mentioned yet (and addresses your original question) is the biggest difference between rec and a higher level. At the Rec level many times there are "playing time must be equal". I've encountered it numerous times and it seriously handcuffs you as a coach. How do you teach effort when a kid is required to participate in a certain amount of the game.

As I said in a previous thread that I posted in the wrong forum in this topic-

#1. Regardless of rec or travel squad it should be about the kids having fun and getting better. NOT F'ing winning.

That of course is way more important at ages 6-10 or 11.

When you are dealing with young kids you have massively different levels of maturity and development. My biggest issue with travel teams at such an early age is it overlooks the late developers as by the time they reach middle school if they play a sport they probably already have it narrowed down to 1 or 2.

As for the effort question it's about giving kids chances to play. If you have a kid that doesn't want to play or is "lazy" as a coach it's your job to find what motivates them. In fact that is far and away the thing that I love most about coaching my kids teams. It's seeing that kid that "isn't very good" or is lazy finally having the light pop on in their head.

I will take a smile from a kid that isn't very good who does something that puts a smile on his face or finally getting that "lazy kid" to participate over winning a game or tournament EVERY SINGLE TIME. As that moment is what youth sports is all about and something that I think far too many coaches and parents forget.

 

[Judoka]

I would hope in practice they are teaching at least the basics that can easily be learned by the coach by watching some YouTube videos. Sometimes though what is taught in practice doesn't carry over to game day.

Last year I coached a 10/11 year old team and the team I was given had the 2 worst players in the league and also was the only team with no traveling team kids. We looked good in practice but lost all of our games because we just didnt have the players. At least the parents were cool about it and realized I can't make layups for their kids.

I think this is pretty much the right approach. For a rec league I'd expect the coach to try to teach the kids how to play with real drills and technique (even if they got pressed in to service and are basing it off youtube or a google search, just as long as they are trying) but I'd also expect that nobody is going to worry all that much about wins and losses. It should be fun, but it shouldn't be a waste of time.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

This was an interesting thread to read through. Rec leagues are always going to be hit and miss because you are dealing with volunteer coaches. Some of those volunteers played the sport, know the fundamentals and hold kids accountable for showing up to practice and trying to improve. Other coaches are there because nobody else wanted to do it and they are doing their best so kids have a team to play on. Faulting the latter doesn't make sense since the alternative would be that there is no coach and no team.

I think a decent amount of dischord in the thread could possibly be attributed to the amount of opportunities available to each party. I am fortunate to live in an area where there are various levels of club and rec teams, but I feel like some in here may be handcuffed with the option of an expensive travelling team or a lackadaisical rec team.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

This, so much. As previously said, i have problems with getting numbers to practice, but the ones who consistently show up i know what to expect, and how to work with them. However i have a few kids ive never met before the first game, show up and ask me how to do simple things or where they should stand.

I think this would drive me crazier than anything else. It doesn't matter if you are good or bad, at least get your kid to practice and the games. If you want to play a team sport, commit to the team. I don't understand the parents that sign their kids up for a sport and barely show up half the time. That's extremely selfish to their teammates and teaches your kids a bad lesson.

 

[jbhtexas]

um...no he didn't but splitting hairs. Also, your thoughts on soccer just becoming popular nullifies most of what you said in my opinion.

Also, your comments about boys and girls is ridiculous. In fact, most of your second paragraph is off the rails...but I appreciate the discussion, nonetheless.

This response really doesn't scream "I appreciate the discussion"...

In my experience, his thoughts on soccer recently becoming popular are right on. My son plays YMCA soccer (which in our area would be entry-level rec league), and the league sizes have exploded in the past 2 years. The Y is overwhelmed. Perhaps fallout from the CTE stuff surrounding football, population demographics, who knows. Easily, half of the volunteer coaches and coaches' helpers (including me) in my son's age group have no prior experience playing or even watching soccer, and are just trying to make it work based on what we ourselves can learn.

The upper leagues (and there are lots of those) are renting up all the fields, so we practice in whatever space we can find in the park, which is never close to the size of a game-time field, and makes it very difficult to practice well many aspects of the game and teach fundamentals.

 

[Three4Cy]

I think the bigger question is - is your soccer club doing anything to develop their rec league coaches or are they just giving them a roster and say "Have fun!" Many of the bigger clubs in DSM don't care about their rec league teams other than the revenue they bring in to help pay for their select teams. If your league is doing nothing to develop its rec league coaches, it could explain why the coach feels he is doing all he needs to do.

Our club works really hard to develop the rec league coaches at the U8-U9 age level so they can prepare all their kids who may want to play select when they get older. It doesn't mean they are all going to play select, but they have at least developed the skills to be able to compete. We are a smaller club so our teams don't fluctuate with lots of players coming and going and we have worked hard to keep the same group of kids together with the same coach from year to year for consistency.