State Of Iowa Laws

[Erik4Cy]

-Just thought I'd put a few good ones that our brilliant lawmen have put into effect within our great state:

A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.

One-armed piano players must perform for free. (My personal favorite)

Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

Tanning bed facilities must warn of the risk of getting a sunburn.

It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

All boxes used to pick hops must be exactly 36 inches long.

Ministers must obtain a permit to carry their liquor across state lines.

Doctors who treat a person with gonorrhea must report this to the local board of health and include the disease's "probable origin".

A board was created to regulate among other things, hearing aids.

-Here is one from Nebraska that I would like to see in action - I have never been to a bar in Nebraska so...

It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

 

[CHim]

Those are awesome. Where did you find these?

 

[cmoore_23]

good topic, here are some more


• Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.



• You may shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them on your property at any one time. (thats just messed up)

• It is illegal to accept a gratuity or tip in Iowa. (oops)

Random ones i like from other states:

This one is in Idaho
• It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

Kansas
• Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.

Arizona
• A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
(messed up!!!)

Florida
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
• You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
(hahahahaha)

ya... i want to keep going..but ya im done..

 

[Cyclone62]

Does the law specify what a moustache is? Does it include goatees? Mexi-staches? Do those all count too?

 

[Mr Janny]

It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

This is actually how almost all state drug laws work. Having drugs is not illegal if you have a drug tax stamp issued by the state. Just try walking into your county courthouse and asking for one, though.

 

[jkoo]

my all time favorite:

In San Francisco, anyone classified as "ugly" is prohibited from walking the city sidewalks.


...that is REAL.

 

[businesscyman]

This is actually how almost all state drug laws work. Having drugs is not illegal if you have a drug tax stamp issued by the state. Just try walking into your county courthouse and asking for one, though.

Actually I though the origin of the drug stamp law was ease of enforcement. The state seems more eager to prosecute tax law violations than drug laws. It is also more clear cut to prove no stamp than possesion etc.

I do not beleive having the stamp makes possesion legal in most cases.

 

[Mr Janny]

I had a notion about all these old laws that you hear about. Have you ever noticed that an awful lot of them involve elephants? Stuff like, it's illegal to chain your elephant to a parking meter, or you can't ride your elephant to work on Wednesdays? A lot of these laws deal with elephants.
My question is, where did all these elephants come from? Or better yet, where did they go? I've been on this earth for 30 years, and I've yet to see an elephant that wasn't owned by a circus or a zoo. So why are there all these laws about them?
My guess is that before the Great Depression, elephants were as common as housecats in the U.S. People kept them as pets.
Some folks would leave bales of hay on their back porches for stray elephants to come eat.
Kids would walk by old houses and whisper in hushed voices, "That's where the Crazy Elephant Lady lives! I hear she's got 20 elephants! I hear she's a witch! Why are we whispering?"
Elephants were so popular, that the state was forced to regulate their usage, hence all the laws. Then when the stock market crashed, the economy went to crap, and people needed food. Well, I don't have to tell you what happened next. Long story, short no more elephants.

I've got $20 that says this is what happened. An older boy told me, and why would he lie?

 

[CyGal]

Actually I though the origin of the drug stamp law was ease of enforcement. The state seems more eager to prosecute tax law violations than drug laws. It is also more clear cut to prove no stamp than possesion etc.

I do not beleive having the stamp makes possesion legal in most cases.

Ever hear of Al Capone? That's what they did to him. Couldn't prove anything else, so they got him on tax fraud.

 

[Cyclone62]

There's a law down south somewhere that you can't put pants on ducks.

 

[Wesley]

-Just thought I'd put a few good ones that our brilliant lawmen have put into effect within our great state:

A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.

One-armed piano players must perform for free. (My personal favorite)

Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

Tanning bed facilities must warn of the risk of getting a sunburn.

It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

All boxes used to pick hops must be exactly 36 inches long.

Ministers must obtain a permit to carry their liquor across state lines.

Doctors who treat a person with gonorrhea must report this to the local board of health and include the disease's "probable origin".

A board was created to regulate among other things, hearing aids.

-Here is one from Nebraska that I would like to see in action - I have never been to a bar in Nebraska so...

It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

You missed one:
If you have nice hair, flaunt it courtside like Steve Alford.

 

[amyk33]

There's a law down south somewhere that you can't put pants on ducks.

Is that why Donald only wears a jacket?

 

[CloneIce]

I grew up in a small town in Western Iowa. There is still an old law on the books that states:

Anytime 4 or more Indians enter the town limits together, they are considered a War-Party, and it is legal to shoot them on sight.

 

[HOTDON]

I had a notion about all these old laws that you hear about. Have you ever noticed that an awful lot of them involve elephants? Stuff like, it's illegal to chain your elephant to a parking meter, or you can't ride your elephant to work on Wednesdays? A lot of these laws deal with elephants.
My question is, where did all these elephants come from? Or better yet, where did they go? I've been on this earth for 30 years, and I've yet to see an elephant that wasn't owned by a circus or a zoo. So why are there all these laws about them?
My guess is that before the Great Depression, elephants were as common as housecats in the U.S. People kept them as pets.
Some folks would leave bales of hay on their back porches for stray elephants to come eat.
Kids would walk by old houses and whisper in hushed voices, "That's where the Crazy Elephant Lady lives! I hear she's got 20 elephants! I hear she's a witch! Why are we whispering?"
Elephants were so popular, that the state was forced to regulate their usage, hence all the laws. Then when the stock market crashed, the economy went to crap, and people needed food. Well, I don't have to tell you what happened next. Long story, short no more elephants.

I've got $20 that says this is what happened. An older boy told me, and why would he lie?

Ha ha, dude you have GOT to crack a window when you're painting!

Wait! Are the elephants pink?

 

[ISUboi12]

In the Phillipines, the age of sexual consent is 12. Not really funny.. pretty ridiculous. In Iowa its 16, watch your daughters.

 

[SlyCy]

Wasn't there a law against oral sex?

Who was the guy that voted for that?

 

[HOTDON]

Wasn't there a law against oral sex?

Who was the guy that voted for that?

The one that wasn't getting any

 

[Cyclonesrule91]

There is a law in the southern two tiers of counties in Missouri that requires couples applying for marriage licenses to take an oath on the bible "swearing that they are not brother/sister or first cousins". Witnessed that one first hand when a buddy got married down there.

I as best man and my wife as maid of honor had to witness their swearin. After I got a grip and got the snot rocket wiped off my tux, I asked why. The lady said the law was passed in the late 1800's when Arkansas made it illegal so they would come up to Southern Missouri and try to "Git er Done".

 

[tejasclone]

There's a law down south somewhere that you can't put pants on ducks.

Are you sure you didnt just see this on a Simpsons episode? Or perhaps it's just eerily similar... in the classic "Prohibition" episode from Season 6, they find an old law in the books requiring ducks to wear long pants.

 

[Cyclone62]

Are you sure you didnt just see this on a Simpsons episode? Or perhaps it's just eerily similar... in the classic "Prohibition" episode from Season 6, they find an old law in the books requiring ducks to wear long pants.

Nope, not from the Simpson's. It's an actual law...