Friday OT - A Series of Unfortunate Events

[KnappShack]

Artificial Intelligence

It is getting more powerful by the day.

It is already being used for crime and violence. Just a matter of time before this world looks radically different and not in a good way.

 

[AgronAlum]

Most would probably send it to the cave.

But also I worry for the success and well being of my kids. Like, a lot. The only thing you can do is try and instill a true moral compass, a strong work ethic and resilience. There are just so many factors that can send someone down a wrong path and digging yourself out is infinitely harder than the fall.

With getting older there's also the fear that you won't be around to help them out. We've had 4 deaths with friends and family this winter. Two suicides and two heart attacks. Both heart attacks were people in their 30s. Now my wife has a family member going into hospice because of cancer and another just turned down a surgery because the success rate is only 60% with a huge recovery time.

 

[KnappShack]

My theory is that it is a percentage thing. When you are 5 years old one year is 20% of your life so a really big deal. When you are 40 a year is just 2.5% of your life and when you are 66 it is about 1.5%. Our perception of how long a year is is based on how much of our memorable life it is.

That is my theory.

The paper towel roll turns faster the closer it gets to the end.

 

[Clonefan32]

I struggle with this one as well. I would say I'm a genuinely optimistic person, and most of the time, my main motivator in life is to make it enjoyable for myself and the people I'm around, whether that's at home, with friends, at work, etc. My philosophy is that life is way too short for trudgery. But as I get older, it feels like the year move so fast. It stresses me out, and I feel like I need to pack in as much life experience as possible.

...and that's why I want to take that overnight trip to Amsterdam, when we're at the Aer Lingus Classic, @Angie
Why are you denying me life experience?

Getting older is my main source of anxiety. I don't even notice it in myself so much as I do the people around me. People that I knew as a kid that I'll see and think "holy **** they look old". Seeing pictures of my kids from just a few years and and how much they've changed. Alot of it is good and I'm happy to see not only how the kids are growing and maturing but how my life has come into focus. But I'll be damned if it's not a little depressing too.

 

[CYdTracked]

Most of the things that keep me up at night are pretty cavey.

But I do often find myself pre-occupied or stressed trying to figure out how to make time for all the people I care about. I realize a lot of people just end up cutting down their circle or becoming more isolated as they age, but I really want to resist that.

My other big one is that I absolutely recoil at how our society has so gleefully become The Matrix. The amount of people that actively avoid socialization and spend their entire lives in their home is ******* terrifying. I think it's part of the root cause of most of our big societal issues. Too many people aren't getting out into the world enough and spend most of their time connected to screens, participating in echo chambers, and losing the ability to interact in person. I see how Gen Z has dramatically retreated from all kinds of social activities and find it terrifying.

It's always phrased as "wow - look how young people are drinking less, being less promiscuous, not doing drugs - this is great" but in reality they're becoming extremely unhealthy in a wholly different way.

I spend a lot of time trying to be in the world outside of the home, and expose my daughter to that as well. My hope is that Gen Alpha will push back against the extreme introversion of Gen Z and ditch smart phones for reality.

I completely agree with what you brought up here. Have a nephew in his mid 20's that won't take a job unless it is a work from home job. He's an accountant so how he's able to pull that off without working for some firm that requires him to be in the office and meeting with clients doing tax returns amazes me. Not sure when the last time he had a girlfriend but it has been awhile now and I don't think he gets out a lot where he's meeting a lot of new people either. Have another nephew that used to be a real PITA when he was younger but has really matured and become responsible over the years. He is very social so not concerned as much about him like we are with the other nephew. He graduates college this spring and found out his plan is to move back in with his parents again. A little surprised they are onboard with it as I believe he already has a job lined up, but what we found out is he wants to save some money to buy a place so they are going to set some ground rules for living with them while he does that. I guess if it were my own kid unless there is a real financial reason behind it a college grad with a job that can pay the bills I would want them to find a place of their own and start to transition to their adult life and the responsibilities that come with it. My exception would be if they don't have a job yet that I would allow for them to live with us temporarily until they get a job and then would say it's time to find your own place once they do. I'm sure everyone has their own thoughts on how to handle this but I think the sooner adult children can break their dependence on their parents it will set them up for success faster. I made plenty of bad choices over the years but I'm glad that my parents let me make them and learn from it instead of try to fix them for me or be the safety net.

The smart phones/social media problems with our youth are real too. As adults we also have problems with them too, I see so many people I am friends or family with that act like completely different people on social media and post hateful and negative things that they otherwise would likely not say to someone face to face in person. We are trying our best to wait on getting a smartphone for our daughter who is in 5th grade, thinking 7th grade is when we may finally cave in. We do allow her some limited time at home to use Kids Messenger to chat with her friends but otherwise that's it for what she has access to that is considered a form of interactive social media. Her middle school already had an incident this week where apparently some boy in her grade sent a SnapChat message out to some kids that was along the lines of "if you come to school tomorrow you're all shot." In the times we are in now the school didn't take it lightly and sent out a communication that a situation happened, they already got the SRO involved and the student in question has been dealt with and no real threat but they would have extra presence at the school as a precaution. I'm sure it was some dumb boy thinking he was funny for sending it but at the same time it's a little scary that we have to fear the worst with these situations now too and not take them lightly.

 

[madguy30]

Most of the things that keep me up at night are pretty cavey.

But I do often find myself pre-occupied or stressed trying to figure out how to make time for all the people I care about. I realize a lot of people just end up cutting down their circle or becoming more isolated as they age, but I really want to resist that.

My other big one is that I absolutely recoil at how our society has so gleefully become The Matrix. The amount of people that actively avoid socialization and spend their entire lives in their home is ******* terrifying. I think it's part of the root cause of most of our big societal issues. Too many people aren't getting out into the world enough and spend most of their time connected to screens, participating in echo chambers, and losing the ability to interact in person. I see how Gen Z has dramatically retreated from all kinds of social activities and find it terrifying.

It's always phrased as "wow - look how young people are drinking less, being less promiscuous, not doing drugs - this is great" but in reality they're becoming extremely unhealthy in a wholly different way.

I spend a lot of time trying to be in the world outside of the home, and expose my daughter to that as well. My hope is that Gen Alpha will push back against the extreme introversion of Gen Z and ditch smart phones for reality.

One aspect of the pseudo-hermit/sitting inside online (guilty myself) that imo may lend to more anxiousness is all of the awful things that are posted online.

If you get down a rabbit hole it can seem like everywhere there are people yelling, fighting each other in grocery stores, etc. which makes it seem not worth heading out.

But to branch off of the idea of experiencing the world, when you actually go to a store etc. like 99.9% of people there are just shopping and not much else.

 

[KnappShack]

Getting older is my main source of anxiety. I don't even notice it in myself so much as I do the people around me. People that I knew as a kid that I'll see and think "holy **** they look old". Seeing pictures of my kids from just a few years and and how much they've changed. Alot of it is good and I'm happy to see not only how the kids are growing and maturing but how my life has come into focus. But I'll be damned if it's not a little depressing too.

I have a 50 year age difference with my youngest boy. Simply staying alive is a new stress. Never on the radar before. Throw in a heart monitor this week and it's interesting.

At work we have a mandate to be on camera again. My profile pic from 2017 doesn't look like the 2025 KnappShack

Got called out for looking old on the first goddam call.

Father time is undefeated

 

[LivntheCyLife]

I used to genuinely like winter but my daughter started daycare a few weeks ago and it just makes winter awful. We're sick all the time and I'm constantly worrying about closings for weather which makes work scheduling difficult. How do people survive this?

 

[BoxsterCy]

I'm fairly convinced that time passes way faster the older you get. Events that seem like they happened 2 or 3 years ago actually were 5 or 7 years ago. It's weird and freaky.

Based on seven decades in a living experiment in this, I can confirm.

 

[VeloClone]

I completely agree with what you brought up here. Have a nephew in his mid 20's that won't take a job unless it is a work from home job. He's an accountant so how he's able to pull that off without working for some firm that requires him to be in the office and meeting with clients doing tax returns amazes me. Not sure when the last time he had a girlfriend but it has been awhile now and I don't think he gets out a lot where he's meeting a lot of new people either. Have another nephew that used to be a real PITA when he was younger but has really matured and become responsible over the years. He is very social so not concerned as much about him like we are with the other nephew. He graduates college this spring and found out his plan is to move back in with his parents again. A little surprised they are onboard with it as I believe he already has a job lined up, but what we found out is he wants to save some money to buy a place so they are going to set some ground rules for living with them while he does that. I guess if it were my own kid unless there is a real financial reason behind it a college grad with a job that can pay the bills I would want them to find a place of their own and start to transition to their adult life and the responsibilities that come with it. My exception would be if they don't have a job yet that I would allow for them to live with us temporarily until they get a job and then would say it's time to find your own place once they do. I'm sure everyone has their own thoughts on how to handle this but I think the sooner adult children can break their dependence on their parents it will set them up for success faster. I made plenty of bad choices over the years but I'm glad that my parents let me make them and learn from it instead of try to fix them for me or be the safety net.

The smart phones/social media problems with our youth are real too. As adults we also have problems with them too, I see so many people I am friends or family with that act like completely different people on social media and post hateful and negative things that they otherwise would likely not say to someone face to face in person. We are trying our best to wait on getting a smartphone for our daughter who is in 5th grade, thinking 7th grade is when we may finally cave in. We do allow her some limited time at home to use Kids Messenger to chat with her friends but otherwise that's it for what she has access to that is considered a form of interactive social media. Her middle school already had an incident this week where apparently some boy in her grade sent a SnapChat message out to some kids that was along the lines of "if you come to school tomorrow you're all shot." In the times we are in now the school didn't take it lightly and sent out a communication that a situation happened, they already got the SRO involved and the student in question has been dealt with and no real threat but they would have extra presence at the school as a precaution. I'm sure it was some dumb boy thinking he was funny for sending it but at the same time it's a little scary that we have to fear the worst with these situations now too and not take them lightly.

When I left for college as a barely 18 year old freshman that was the end of living at home. I had to grow up fast. On the other hand, Mrs. Velo's situation was different. She still had her room at home and came home some weekends and summers from school to work her high school job. She also had an apartment of her own for several years after graduating from college and starting in the work force. Her parents let her move home for about a year before we got married though. She had to pay them rent but was able to save quite a bit of money so we were able to put enough down on our house to avoid having to pay mortgage insurance so it really paid off. It was a humbling experience for her as she was in her 30s.

I have a son with quite a few minor but not insignificant developmental, learning, and emotional disabilities. I have a feeling we will have him at home for a fair amount of time after he graduates from high school next year even after he joins the workforce full time.

 

[Entropy]

My mild existential terror at the moment is I'm in the weird phase that I call mid-career.
I've been at it for 20 years, I've probably got a solid 15 years left before I can think about retirement.

Do I have it in me to last these next 15 years to get to retirement?
Part of me is antsy and wants to make a change, the other part looks at the accrued benefits and wants to ride it out.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

I have a couple uncles that battled dementia. My parents are both fine and remarkably healthy for being over 90, but the fear of dementia being a possibility in my future is unbearable some days.

 

[Cyclonsin]

Im worried my body and soul cant take another winter here. This week has sucked.

This is why I bit the bullet 2 years ago and moved to coastal Georgia. Absolutely no regrets. Now a "brutally cold day" means it doesn't hit 60.

Plus, it never hits triple digits here in the summer and there's almost always a cool ocean breeze.

 

[KnappShack]

I used to genuinely like winter but my daughter started daycare a few weeks ago and it just makes winter awful. We're sick all the time and I'm constantly worrying about closings for weather which makes work scheduling difficult. How do people survive this?

Liquor
Vitamin D

(And don't look at the total $$ for daycare.)

 

[VeloClone]

I used to genuinely like winter but my daughter started daycare a few weeks ago and it just makes winter awful. We're sick all the time and I'm constantly worrying about closings for weather which makes work scheduling difficult. How do people survive this?

We were lucky. Mrs. Velo didn't go back to work after having our first one and when she had our second we made a deal with our neighbors across the street and she stayed home and watched all five of them. We probably would have been further ahead if she had gone back to work right away because people are reluctant to hire women who have been out of the work force for 8+ years for career type jobs, but she even thanked me just the other day for letting her do that. We hear too much about kids being abused at daycare. Our retirement might have been more comfortable, but we wouldn't trade that decision for anything.

To be clear, I am not criticizing anyone who has to put their kids in daycare, we were just blessed to not have to do that.

 

[CYdTracked]

So many in our society are tied to their phones. Me included. But recently took it upon myself to get rid of nearly all social media accounts. I was at a restaurant recently and all I could notice was nearly everyone there was on their phone instead of interacting with the people they’re with. Our human interaction is so bad right now. That is worrisome to me.

I'm guilty of being in my phone too much and trying to get better at it. One thing we did in our house was at 6:30pm until when the kids go to bed we all have no device time. That includes phones, the TV, anything electronic. Main reason we started that was our oldest daughter would wake up crying about 60-90 minutes after falling asleep most nights and we found that electronics over-stimulate the mind so turning everything off prior to bath time and bed then having her read for about 15-20 minutes once she gets in bed has solved the problem she was having. We talked with our pediatrician about this after we had already made the change and she said we did exactly what she would have recommended, the time period she was waking up in panic was about the time she would be entering the next sleep cycle so changing her before bedtime routine basically was "winding down" her brain and allowing for better sleep.

As a result we either play card or board games, kids may read or do their homework if they have some to do, or maybe the kids do some kind of crafting or drawing. Depends on what they feel like doing but the nights we are home we get a good 30-60 minute window before the kids bath time we now have built in family time which is good for all of us to have our minds on something other than electronics or things going on outside of the home.

 

[AgronAlum]

I used to genuinely like winter but my daughter started daycare a few weeks ago and it just makes winter awful. We're sick all the time and I'm constantly worrying about closings for weather which makes work scheduling difficult. How do people survive this?

We've got three in three different schools/preschool. My wife also watches our two nephews 2-3 times per week and one of them is in separate preschool. Our house is full on sickness the entire winter. We just had two go to the doctor yesterday. One with strep and the other with impetigo.

 

[VeloClone]

My mild existential terror at the moment is I'm in the weird phase that I call mid-career.
I've been at it for 20 years, I've probably got a solid 15 years left before I can think about retirement.

Do I have it in me to last these next 15 years to get to retirement?
Part of me is antsy and wants to make a change, the other part looks at the accrued benefits and wants to ride it out.

Yeah, years ago I was jumping up the ranks; working one job for a year and half then taking another for a year and half... I never expected my current stop to be a career stop but I am in my 27th year there and can see retirement just about 8 years down the road. I have had 4 different positions at this stop and have a great pension waiting for me so it really worked out.

I would often get bored with repetitive jobs and always wanted a new challenge. I like my current one because it is always new projects that force me to stretch my skills and knowledge. But I have to not be afraid to be the "dumbest guy in the room" most of the time always being a generalist in a room full of specialists - specialists in a different area on each project. I have gotten really comfortable asking the stupid questions which a younger me always had a hard time doing and instead just tried to figure it out rather than looking dumb.

Retirement is a bit scary though. I haven't not had a job since I was about 14, and haven't been without a full-time or nearly full-time job since 18.

 

[Remo Gaggi]

This photo puts everything in perspective.

 

[CYdTracked]

When I left for college as a barely 18 year old freshman that was the end of living at home. I had to grow up fast. On the other hand, Mrs. Velo's situation was different. She still had her room at home and came home some weekends and summers from school to work her high school job. She also had an apartment of her own for several years after graduating from college and starting in the work force. Her parents let her move home for about a year before we got married though. She had to pay them rent but was able to save quite a bit of money so we were able to put enough down on our house to avoid having to pay mortgage insurance so it really paid off. It was a humbling experience for her as she was in her 30s.

I have a son with quite a few minor but not insignificant developmental, learning, and emotional disabilities. I have a feeling we will have him at home for a fair amount of time after he graduates from high school next year even after he joins the workforce full time.

I probably should clarify I am not saying that every parent should tell their kids they can't live at home after college, every situation is different and there are going to be cirumstances where it makes sense. Ideally if my kids are in good financial standing and have a job upon graduating from college I don't want them living at home unless there is a short term reason for why they might need to and even then we'll have to set some ground rules for living with us and a gameplan for finding a place of their own so it doesn't turn into a longer term situation.

I was ready to live on my own by the time I graduated college. I had no desire to live with my parents and it had nothing to do with my relationship with them, we got along fine. I was just ready be independent and start my own life without the worry of having my parents know what I was up to because we lived together or have to live with live with rules they might have for living there. Socially I feel there is a huge benefit of not living with your parents as an adult too. Not sure I would of met some of the people I am friends with or experienced some things I did had I lived with my parents for any amount of time after graduating college.